I was home all day yesterday and when that happens, I drink and think.
While I drank much more than I thought, a few things did pop into this bald noggin of mine.
I feel chunky. I lost 90 pounds a couple of years ago, and I never want to balloon up again. I was huge.
So, I am going to do what I did to lose all of that weight again through Labor Day.
I’m cutting way back on carbs. Bread, pasta, beer…Ha Ha Ha. Yeah, right. I’m still going to drink plenty of beer and Bagwine, but…
No sandwiches, very little pasta.
I’m going to eat mainly naked meat, vegetables, and my go to diet food, soup. Lots and lots of soup. I invented the soup diet and trust me, it works.
I just want to lose ten pounds by Labor day…shouldn’t be a problem.
I listen to several talk radio shows. Hannity, Boortz, Beck-Tard. They’re hilarious and they have great commercials.
Beck hawks survival seeds, and Hannity pitches some shit called Food Insurance. It’s like MREs that they use in the armed forces. A bunch of dehydrated entrée type shit.
When I heard the Food Insurance thing, I thought…
I bet I could make a lot of money if I could manufacture and market, are you ready gang…
Of course, I don’t know what one would add to it to make it water. Minor detail.
It was incredibly hot and humid in Bagwine yesterday and Pizza Bill had to work the Beer Mine from 10-9. Ol’ Pizza Bill is susceptible to a type of heat rash that he refers to as Ass Chap.
Knowing the humid conditions outside and Bill’s problem I was struck by a vision of him all sweaty as he left work and his butt looking like two big tureens of Split Pea soup and wet, uncooked Pancake mix.
I couldn’t get the morose vision out of my mind until two beers later.
After that, I had a better vision. If the dehydrated water thing doesn’t work I could make tons of cash making a line of cars that appeal to right wing Fundamentalists.
The name of my newly founded car company?
I think that would be a winner. I can hear it now.
“Hey Dave what kind of car is that? It‘s very nice.”
“Well Tom, that’s the 2011 Christler Apocalypse, and let me tell you. When you’re riding in this, it feels like the streets are paved with gold.”
Lastly, I talked to Jay yesterday for a looonnnng time about our impending radio show.
We covered a lot of ground and ha, our conversation would have made a good show. We do have one problem first and foremost…
We can’t think of a name for the show. Jay being the flamboyant, creative master-mind that he is, offered this…
The Jay and Matt Show.
Ha. I love that guy...but we will keep working on the title anyway.
Only working 5-9 today so I’ll be ‘round for awhile. Enjoy your Thursday all; Friday is just around the corner.