Random Acts of Kindness

I came out of the shower just before going to work Thursday evening when Schmoop handed me a letter she had just gotten out of the mailbox.

It was from the Kroger Co., which if you don’t know, is a large grocery store chain.

I opened the letter, and inside was a 25 dollar gift card to the aforementioned Kroger’s. I said to Schmoop, “Wow, that’s nice!!”

Now…

In addition to my family, many of you chuckleheads have never failed to astound me with your generosity and thoughtfulness directed toward Schmoop and me over the past 4 plus years.

The likes of Lu, Dana, and Rat quickly come to mind, but this act of kindness was a bit different.

The card was sent anonymously and postmarked from an area of the country that offers me no clue as to who sent it.

I have no idea why it was sent either. Perhaps whoever sent it heard that my hours at The Beer Mine are getting cut a bit. Perhaps he or she was just being kind…perhaps both.

No matter, I am not one to look a gift card in the mouth. But…

I do want to thank the purveyor of this act of kindness and hope that your kindness is returned to you ten-fold. Thanks!!

And now…Another blatant, self-serving, promo for, I’m with Stupid!!

Please join Jay and me tonight at 11 PM EDT on Blog Talk Radio as we celebrate Halloween on I’m with Stupid.

Hilarity will ensue as we talk about all things Halloween related. From funny costumes, our favorite scary movies, madcap movie trailers, to Nipsey Russell’s take on football and Halloween!!

Help us welcome in the Halloween weekend by listening and calling in with your BOO-ty of wit and wisdom.

That’s, I’m With Stupid…Friday at 11 PM EDT. You can listen by going to our Blog Talk Radio page by clicking HERE.

And by the way?

Since I am off all day and will be quaffing more than a few beers, I may need a wake-up call at around 9:45 PM in order to make it to the show.

Your help would be greatly appreciated. If you don’t already have my number, email me, and I’ll send it along to ya.

I, and even more so, Jay, thank you in advance.

Have a ghoulishly fun Halloween weekend, and as always…

Cheers!!

My Charlie Sheen and Capri Anderson Moment

Were you expecting another fireworks filled installment between Schmoop and myself today in our weekly segment, He Said…She Said?

Well…

So was I. But…

When I woke up this morning to post it, I found that some drunken asshole evidently didn’t save the exchange.

Fucking moron.

This person needs to be severely reprimanded, publicly lynched, and then drenched in gasoline and set on fire.

Stupidity like this cannot and will not be tolerated, and it makes my job of providing daily frivolity to you the people, much harder to do.

This type of incompetence is unacceptable. So…

If any of you would like to come over and flog my stupid ass for not saving the post, I’ll be at home until 4:45 PM today.

I thank you in advance for punishing me for my Charlie Sheen/Capri Anderson moment.

On the upside…

I’m With Stupid after only nine shows, is already the number three rated comedy show on Blog Talk Radio!!

We attribute our success to many things…hard work, intensive show preparation, and the loyalty of our listeners, but mainly to dumb luck and labeling every show with the tag: Jewish Babes.

And…

This Friday (that’s tomorrow you chuckleheads) Jay and I will be making the I’m With Stupid magic happen once again as we broadcast on BTR at 11PM EDT.

We will be having our IWS Halloween Party. We will discuss Halloween party horror stories, our fave costumes, and our favorite scary movies.

Additonally, we will have our weekly football picks, Nipsey Russell and Dour Mike will probably be chiming in, and we have dug up several audio trailers of horror movies you may have missed out on.

We hope you listen and join the BOO-teelicious good times by calling in to our show.

That’s, I’m With Stupid at 11 PM EDT Friday night on Blog Talk Radio.

You can go to our BTR show page by clicking HERE.

And…

If you have a moment and are on Facebook, please go to our FB link on my right sidebar and “Like” us.

We want to be number one on BTR, on Facebook, and most importantly, number one in your hearts…or something.

Have a wunnerful Thursday and as always…

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Happy 16th Birthday Ryno!!

It’s going to be a warm October Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio. If only my head wasn’t plugged up tighter than a Chilean mine.

Anyhoo…

A short post on this fun-filled and assciting day.


Today marks the 16th birthday of my wunnerful son, Ryno. That’s right sports fans, The R-Man is the big One Six today.

On Monday October 24, 1994 at 7:21 PM, the little shit popped out his Mom’s hoo-ha and into our hearts forever.

I wish him and his size 14 feet a Happy Birthday and as I always do just before we hang up from talking on the phone every morning:

“Love you, Buddy!!”

Lastly…

Don’t forget to tune and call-in to I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio at 11 AM EDT. Jay and I are having a Tea Party and making fun of as many politicians as we can in 60 minutes.

We have some good music lined up, an exclusive interview with Christine O’Donnell, our NFL picks of the week along with a new sponsor, and dig it…

At approximately 11:30 the Birthday Boy hizzelf will be calling in. After all, what’s a birthday without a little comic abuse from two drunken old men?

Amen, and Amen...

So there you have it folks…

To get to our BTR show page in order to listen and participate, click on this fancy schmancy button below:

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk RadioHave a wunnerful Sunday, and as always…

Cheers!!

Birthdays and Blog Talk Radio

It’s Friiiiiday so you know what that means, kids. That’s Rig-h--…

Er…Nope. No Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™ this week. Today?

We’re going to have a show promo for the I’m with Stupid Blog Talk Radio show that Jay and I do on Sunday’s at 11 AM EDT and I have some birthday wishes as well.


Let’s start with the birthday shout-outs, shall we? Great!!

First up, my niece Anna.

Anna turns 16 on Saturday and in those 16 years she has managed to overcome her shallow gene pool and become a bright, young lady. Here's wishing a Sweet Sixteen to Anna. Happy Birthday!!

Secondly. Anna’s uncle and one of my brothers celebrates his birthday on Saturday as well. That’s right.

My brother Denny, also known as Big D, Den-Den, and Queer Bastard turns 59.

Ol’ Den spent most of his adult life in the newspaper business as a journalist and editor for a variety of papers. He never won a Pulitzer but he does have a significant claim to fame.

Throughout his career he gave new meaning to the phrase, “yellow journalism”. You see...

Whether out covering a breaking story or sitting behind his editor’s desk, he had a frequent and uncontrollable habit of urinating all over himself.

Denny is a funny SOB as well. When I saw him last weekend, he said to me, “Hey Matt…I really like the new look of your website.”

I thanked him and he replied, “The content still sucks, but I do like the look.” Ha. Bastard.

Anyhoo…Happy Birthday to Brother Denny!!

Lastly, this Sunday, Anna’s cousin, Denny’s nephew, and my son, Ryan, celebrates his 16th birthday.


I was thinking. Ryno was but a mere 11 years old when I started Bagwine Ruminations, and now he is a 16 year old High School sophomore. Holy Cow!!

More on Ryno later in this post and on his actual birthday this Sunday. And now….it’s time to get stupid.

This Sunday at 11 AM EDT on I’m With Stupid, Jay and I will be having a Tea Party of our own as we discuss all things political.

We will be discussing the various races, the various stupidity surrounding this election season, and which politicos we think are hot. And…

As it is a Tea Party of sorts we will decry government run amok and see if we can’t get the Federal Interstate Highway System dismantled.

So if you live near I-75, I-5, or I-whatever, you may want to find an alternate route pretty quickly. ‘Cause “The Man” and his fancy roads are goin’ down.

We will also have an exclusive IWS interview with GOP Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell, our NFL picks of the week, perhaps a call from Dour Mike to update us on his wacky, madcap lifestyle, and get this…

We may have an uber-special guest calling in. The Birthday Boy hizzelf, my son, Ryno. Dig It!! So folks…

Help us berate and mock the American political system along with celebrating Ryno’s birthday by listening and calling in to I’m With Stupid Sunday at 11 AM EDT on Blog Talk Radio.

You can find our show’s BTR page by clicking HERE.

Have a wonderful weekend, and as always…

Cheers!!

I'm With Stupid: The Contest

I am going to be busier than than Paris Hilton's hoo-ha this week, so here's the deal.

All this week will be, for the most part, about the I'm With Stupid Radio Show that Jay and I do on Blog Talk Radio.

If you haven't listened to it, you can hear the most recent installment here:



It wasn't a bad show once we got Google phone to quit fuckin' with us and Jay re-appeared. At least our problems weren't Time-Warner or BTR for once. But here's the thing...

We want you wunnerful people to participate and if you do, we will reward you with wunnerful prize packages.

We are seeking your talents to come up with hot, funny, and clever intros and sound bites for the show.

For example, here's one that the uber-lovely Schmoop did late Sunday afternoon...



(click where it says: twaud.io)

Of course you can always do more personalized audio blurbs such as one Schmoop did a few minutes later:



(click where it says twaud.io)

If you do something along those lines and we use it, your fan-damn-tastic prize will be in the mail.

We are also looking for written blurbs that we can use. A blurb along the lines of this:

"While I was Vice-President I thought I was with Stupid and then, I listened to Jay and Matt-Man on Blog Talk Radio, and knew I truly was."

--Dick Cheney

Of course, we'd want you to use your name n'shit.

So there you have it. The ball is in your court and it's time for ya to start dribbling.

Send your audio files and/or blurbs to either Jay or myself at the following email addresses:

Matt-Man: neshobadude@yahoo.com

Jay: jayman3768@gmail.com

It's easy. It's fun. And...you may win a fantastic prize package provided I can get my package up. Ha!!

Seriously, we will be giving away some goooooood shit.

I'm going to be all but gone until Wednesday, so fill our inboxes up, and Jay and I will be more than happy to fill your boxes up.

Until then...

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Dating Disasters and More!!

It’s October 10th and it’s going to be 87 degrees on this fabulous Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio.

What the Hell is up with that? I don’t know, but Ima likin’ it.

Nothing exciting happened at the Beer Mine yesterday, so I guess I’ll just pimp out the I’m With Stupid radio show that airs today on Blog Talk Radio at 11 AM EDT.

Jayman and I have a jam-packed line up for you guys today. Boy Howdy, do we!!

We will have our NFL picks of the week, which this week has, as always, a topical sponsor.

Much like Keith Olbermann (minus the histrionics and stupidity), Jay will have a special comment about a comment he received on his website this week.

We will be giving a very heartfelt shout out to someone who many have come to know and love through her comments on Bagwine Ruminations over the last couple of days, and on top of that…

We will be discussing our worst dates ever, and I will tell you about the worst dating disaster in HISTORY!!

So please…listen-in and call-in if you get the chance, because if you do, you may get to hear and participate with IWS’s current all-time fave callers, Evil Twin’s Wife and the “uber-animated”, Dour Mike!!

Tell me that ain’t worth the listen…Damn Right.

Amen, and Amen…

So, for your pre-show reading enjoyment, here are a couple of links…

I’m With Stupid Website

And the…

I’m With Stupid Blog Talk Radio Site

And the…

I’m With Stupid Facebook page

And the…

Okay, I’m done. But seriously, if you don’t listen to I’m With Stupid at 11 AM EDT today, you are…well, stupid.

Have a wonderful day supplicating the Lord, and as always…

Cheers!!

Life Isn't Awful

Another beautiful day in Bagwine, Ohio.

Sunny and a high of 84. And?

I am working 11-9 and then off to have pizza and watch football with the R-Man tonight for a couple of hours.

Life isn't awful.

Schmoop and I were wondering how the Jewish Princess would adapt to the new couch. Well, Corky seems to have taken a liking to Lilly...

The new computer and desk look really good now. Of course,

How could things not look good when Heidi Zadeh is the background...?

Anyhoo...

Jay and I will be broadcasting another award winning installment of I'm With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio tomorrow at 11 AM EDT.

We will, among our usual schtick, be discussing our worst dates ever.

Listen in and call-in with your dating disasters and let's have some fun while we all recuperate from our Sunday morning hangovers.

One more thing...

If you visit the I'm With Stupid site you can also see our I'm With Stupid Hot, Smart Babe of the Week.

She is so sweet that Dairy Queen has nothing on her. Well, actually Dairy Queen is all over her in this particular picture.

Have a wunnerful weekend, you chuckleheads, and as always...

Cheers!!

K-Minus One Day

This is it folks. That's all there is...

There isn't any more.

I work from 11-9 today. Afterwards, I am going to see Ryno for awhile, and when I get home at 11:30 or so tonight...

I will check my email, fiddle around briefly on the computer, and then go to sleep.

And my friends, it will be the last time I ever go to sleep...On my beloved Kelly that is.


That's right. Shortly after Jay and I do our I'm With Stupid show at 11 AM EDT on Blog Talk Radio, Kelly will be cast aside forevah.

Pizza Bill has graciously volunteered his van and broad shoulders in helping me move a desk and more importantly (and tragically) a new couch into the Bagwine digs.

It's going to be incredibly sad seeing Kelly suffering the same fate that this anonymous chair met some two years ago at the Bagwine Complex...


When I saw that poor discarded chair, I said to myself, "How could anyone do that to a loyal, trusted piece of furniture?"

And now, I find myself at the business end of that same question. I feel much shame. I feel much sorrow.

But enough of the harshing of your joy on this cold, wet weekend.

If you are not too hungover, make sure to catch Jay and I on Blog Talk radio at 11 AM EDT tomorrow.

We will, among a myriad of other hi-larious things, be discussing our favorite and worst food experiences and recipes.

Make sure to tune in, and if you can stand the heat of our internet kitchen, call in with your best, worst, and most creative food experiences as well.

For more info, you can click HERE and/or HERE.

Until I see you on the radio tomorrow, pray for a peaceful end for Kelly, and as always...

Cheers!!

I'm With Stupid: Growing By Leaps and Bounds!!

Another long 10-9 day ahead at the mine, but Monday night I did manage to get the, I'm With Stupid Facebook site set up.

It is incredibly rudimentary right now as it was late, but check it out, leave something on our wall, and "like" us while you're there.

The link to the Facebook page is in my left sidebar.

And of course, in case you missed it, I'm With Stupid has it's own blog site now:

I'm With Stupid Blog Site!!

So click on the above link if you'd like to check that out.

Thanks guys; Jay and I appreciate it!!

Off all day Wednesday, so I'll catch up with all y'all then.

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Quit Playin' Like a Bunch of Marys!!

It’s going to be a picture perfect early Fall Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today, but I do have a complaint…

Notre Dame Bloooooowz.

And, evidently Stanford knows just how to blow them as they bled Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow by a score of 37-14 yesterday.

Listen up Golden Domers…

I know your school is named after the Virgin Mary, but do you have to play football like a bunch of knocked up chicks?

And true, Notre Dame is French, but does that mean you have to reenact the horrendous effects of the Nazi blitzkrieg every time you take to the gridiron?

Oh…Dear…God!! Hey Irish, you are 1-3. 1 and 3!! And those three losses sure as Hell don’t represent the Holy Trinity!!

If you guys continue to play like this?

Every time you lose, a nun will lose her virginity. Through me, God has spoken.

Amen, and Amen…

Now kidz, listen up, and by listen up, I mean listen to I’m with Stupid on Blog Talk Radio today at 11 AM EDT.

Jay and I will be discussing our favorite drunken misadventures and favorite hangover foods.

We hope you will listen and join the fun-filled conversation by calling in.

Here’s the link with all of the vital information: Vital Information!!

Until then, have a wonderful Sunday and I hope to see you on the radio.

Cheers!!

Saturday in Staccato

Happy Saturday!!

Working.

All day today.

11-9.

And then...

Going to see Ryno.

Won't be home,

until 11:30 or so tonight.

But...

Tomorrow,

Jay and I

are doing our radio show

Here's the link.

I'm With Stupid

Please,

Listen and call in

Sunday

At 11 AM EDT

Thanks.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

It’s Friiiiiiday and you know what that means. That’s Right!!

It’s time for another installment of Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

Thursday evening at the Beer Mine talking to Pizza Bill…

Me: Yo Billy-Boy can you use your van to help me move a couch from David’s house over to the apartment the first Sunday in October?

Bill: I’ll have to take the seats out, but sure.

Me: Thanks. Schmoop said that if you helped us out she’d show you her tits.

Bill: Hee Hee.

Me: Ha…Naw, I’ll pay ya.

Bill: I’d rather see Schmoop’s tits.

Me: Deal!!

Thursday morning taking Ryno to school…

Me: I’ll pick you up this afternoon. I’m going to park in that cornfield way behind the baseball diamond.

Ryno: If you park way back there, when I eventually do get to the car, I’m gonna park my fist in your face.

Me: Ha!! Good One.

Monday morning talking to Schmoop following Sunday’s post tryst admission fall out…

Me: You’re not going to work today?

Schmoop: No…I feel like shit this morning. I’ll just blame Dana. Ha.

Me: Ha...I’ll tell her.

Schmoop: And when you do, tell her to stop being a whore!! I did. I mean, shortly after you left your wife and moved in with me, I did.

Me: Ha. Hey-Oooooooo

Schmoop: I crack myself up…ugh, I’m going back to bed.

And that’s it for this week’s installment, but I do have a few things to pass along to you chuckleheads.

First of all, this past Tuesday I wrote about and professed my love for national radio talk show host, Leslie Marshall. Well kids, now dig it.

She read it Tuesday night and got a hold of me via Twitter. We had a brief Twitter convo and she was incredibly sweet.

I just want to say thanks to her for taking the time to read it and actually contacting me. Here’s to the lovely Leslie. Cheers to ya, Mizz Marshall!!

Today marks the 51st birthday of the sexiest librarian in the world, Bagwine buddy, Michele!! I want to give a big ol’ Happy Birthday to Michele. Have a wonderful day, dear!!

Lastly, I’m With Stupid will once again rear its ugly head at 11 AM EDT Sunday on Blog Talk Radio. Please join Jay and myself for some Sunday morning fun.

In addition to our weekly NFL picks and my weekly fucking by Time Warner, we will be talking about bad and/or funny things that have happened to us while drunk.

We invite you to call in and lay your stories on us as well.

And, since many of you will be listening to us with a hangover, we will also discuss what our favorite hangover foods are.

Off today so I’ll be whoopin’ it up I hope you all do the same. Have a good one!!

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Let's Give The Jews Their Due

It’s going to be a rainy Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today.

Of course, there’s a song in my heart as always, because I’ll be doing Blog Talk Radio with the Jayman today at 11 AM EDT!!

Now today is special, because in honor of Yom Kippur we are asking callers to chime in and atone for their sins.

So if you would, please listen in, and call in to our show, I’m With Stupid at 11 AM EDT.

The link is right HERE.

Also, an hour or two after the show, my lovely BFF/OSP Schmoop will be chiming in on Bagwine Ruminations with a Yom Kippur post of her own.

Amen and Amen…

Have a blessed Sunday Bitches, and as always…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

It’s Friiiiiiiday so you know what that means. That’s right…

Another installment of Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

Saturday Morning at the Bagwine digs getting ready for work…

Schmoop: Would you like me to make a sandwich for you to take to work?

Me: Sure!!

Schmoop: Baloney, okay?

Me: Hell yes.

Schmoop: Want the rind left on or not?

Me: Ha…Oh you’re a riot.

Schmoop: Hee Hee…I crack myself up.

Tuesday evening working at the Beer Mine as my regular who looks like Boris Karloff pulls in…

Boris: Get me a Diet Dew and be snappy about it.

Me: Here ya go.

Boris: How’s the website going?

Me: Just fine…doing an internet radio show now too.

Boris: (evidently setting up a joke) I had my own TV show for 25 years, y’know.

Me: Really? What, The Bozo Show?

Boris: (chuckling) You’re pretty quick tonight. See ya.

Saturday morning on the couch with Ryno prior to him, his mom, and his friends going to King’s Island…

Me: (putting my hand on his leg) Hope you guys have fun. I love you buddy.

Ryno: Um…could you get your hand off my thigh; I don’t see you buying me dinner anywhere in the near future.

Mom: Ryan!!

Me and Ryno: Hee Hee Hee.

Me: Good one.

And there you have it for this week, folks.

Have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend.

Don’t forget…

If you get the chance, listen to I'm With Stupid with Jayman and I Sunday at 11 AM EDT on Blog Talk Radio.

Until then…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

It’s Friiiiiiiiday, so you know what that means. That’s Right..!!

Time for yet another installment of Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

Schmoop going through the Beer Mine Wednesday afternoon while Pizza Bill and Drive-By Mikey were working…

Mikey: Smootie. Hey Smootie!! Can I--

Schmoop: No Mike, you can’t pee on me.

Mikey: You could pee on me. I could get off on that. Hee Hee Hee.

Schmoop: (Looking at Pizza Bill) Your boss is a moron. I ain't peein' on him. Women got no pee direction anyway. Of course, you guys don’t either.

Pizza Bill: Sure we do.

Schmoop: Then why do you guys always leave piss all over the seat and the floor?

Pizza Bill: That’s not from not having direction. It’s from backsplash.

Mikey: Smootie!! Hey Smootie!!

Schmoop: WHAT!?

Mikey: Tell Matt-Man not to have sex with you for two hours tonight; he has to work tomorrow. Tell him to get it done in 15 minutes.

Schmoop: Bye Bill (drives off)

Mikey: (yelling as she drives off) Smootie!! Hey Smoot!! Hee Hee Hee.

Thursday prior to taking Ryno to school on the day that the guys have to wear a shirt and tie…

Me: Looks good dude.

Ryno: Thanks. You know what else looks good?

Me: What?

Ryno: My fist in your face. Hee Hee.

Talking to Ryno as I took him home from school…

Ryno: Do I look good or what? Man, I am chiseled.

Me: Ha. You’re 6 foot tall and 162 pounds.

Ryno: But I’m ripped. When I enter a room people say, “Ryno looks just like Lou Ferrigno, only beautiful.”

Me: Ha. That was pretty good.

Ryno: I learned from the best, Dad.

That’s it for this week folks. Have a wonderfully fun and safe Labor Day Weekend. And…

If you have nothing better to do Sunday morning at 11 AM EDT, tune into I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio and listen to Jayman and me.

Or, if my computer and/or phone has the shits again this Sunday, you can at least listen to Jay.

Have a Friday, and as always…

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Are You Ready for Some Footbal!?

It’s going to be a hot Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today and damn busy in a super happy fun way.

It’s been a long week, but I am off today and ready to spend my time in the AC, while swilling beer and catching up on blog and show related crap.

It’s amazing how far one can fall behind on that stuff when one has no internet access at work with which to fuck off visit porn sites perform a public service for the masses.

This morning, I am already reeling from the results of my Fantasy Football draft in Jayman’s Open Bar League.

The draft transpired automatically at 5 AM this morning and well…for my team, The Eager Biebers, it’s a mixed bag.

I dig get the two QB’s that I wanted. Matt Schaub of the Texans will be my starter and Matt Ryan of the Falcons is a more than adequate back up.

I also managed for the second straight year to get the best running back that no one was ever heard of, Pierre Thomas of the Saints.

I have a couple of stellar Tight Ends, a decent but not outstanding WR corps, and the same great kicker I have had for three straight years in Ryan Longwell, but my two defenses?

M’eh. Oh well, I didn’t have what I thought to be a very good team last year and managed to win it all, Bitches. So…we’ll see.

I am breaking out the crockpot today. Schmoop had a craving for my five bean chili, so in order to secure some sex from her, I shall make it so.

I thinks the stars are aligned favorably in that area, because when she was making the bed this morning, she said…

“Oooh, I need to put a new cum towel beside the bed!!”

Just for some extra insurance, I will be making a batch of green onion cornbread as well.

Lastly….Jayman and I will be doing our Blog Talk Radio Show at 11 AM EDT today. If you have the time, be sure to tune into I’m With Stupid on BTR.

It promises to be another Marconi Award winning show.

Of course…

Promises are easily broken.

Amen, and Amen.

Hope to see you ‘round the internets somehow and somewhere today. Enjoy your Day.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

It’s Friiiday and you know what that means…

That’s right, it’s time for another installment of, Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

First up, a Twitter conversation I had with my buddy Average Chick on Thursday morning…

Me: That's what Schmoop says...She tells me I'm the first man she's been with who knows how to use it. She's so kind.

AC: They are hard to find. Very hard to find....

Me: Even harder to find is a 44 yr old chick who can put her legs behind her head. Rowwwrrrrr. Ima gunna put Schmoop and her talent on eBay

AC: I have never been able to do that. Oh how I'd like to!

Me: She can do it well. She's like a contortionist. When she does that, she looks like a rolled up piece of Swiss cheese. Holes everywhere!! Ha!!

AC: Rolled up Swiss cheese? More like a dream girl!

Me: Dream Girl? You don't know how much I like Swiss Cheese. I love it!!

Thursday night at the Beer Mine talking to a hot, Tyra Banks lookin’ babe who just pulled in…

TB: Hi, can I have two 24 ounce Bud Lights?

Me: Sure, do you have an ID?

TB: Ha, you kiddin’ me? (fumbling to get it out of her purse)You’re carding me ‘cause I’m black aren’t ya?

Me: Hee…No, I’m carding you ‘cause you’re hot and I want to find out your name.

TB: (handing me her license) You could have just asked me what my name is, honey.

Me: (looking at license) I’ll remember that…um…Lisa.

TB: Did you get my address too?

Me: Ha…Of course. I’m very thorough.

TB: I bet you are, and you’re pretty damn cute for a white boy.

Me: Thanks and here’s your change, dear.

TB: Maybe next time I’ll give you my number.

Me: Make sure you write it down; my memory sucks.

TB: Ha. I will…bye honey.

Me: Hee Hee…see ya. Rrrrrrowwwwrrrr.

Wednesday morning…an e-mail conversation with Schmoop...

Me: How’s work?

Schmoop: Boring.

Me: Sloppy Joes and Mac n Cheese tonight!!

Schmoop: Mmmmmm, I love it.

Me: Sex tonight?

Schmoop: That sounds dandy!!

Me: I’ll get an injection of penicillin and B-12, and powder my bottom.

Schmoop: Hee Hee.

And there you have it folks. Remember…

Jay and I will be broadcasting our first “official” installment of, I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio this Sunday at 11 AM EDT.

Our topic will be Pet Peeves, so I hope you listen if you have the time. Here’s the link: I’m With Stupid.

Have a Friday and a weekend, chuckleheads.

Cheers!!

I LOVE Sundays...Especially Around 11 AM EDT!!

Ahhhhh, I am off allllll day today, and it’s going to be productive.

Oh yes, it is.

I am going to be doing nothing but drinking and working on the Blog Talk Radio Show that Jay and I are doing together on Sundays at 11 AM EDT.

Damn Right, Bitches.

Our show, which made its quasi-debut last Sunday at 11 AM EDT, was not too bad, but we had no set title for show. Well folks…

My BFF/OSP, the uber-lovely Schmoop, came up with a suggestion. The permanent title for our show which airs Sundays at 11 AM EDT..?

I’m With Stupid!!

She said that it applies to either one of us so, it just made sense. In spite of being incredibly hurt by her remark, Jay and I agreed.

So folks, our BTR Show has a new permanent BTR link which is as follows:

www.blogtalkradio.com/im-with-stupid

There’s not a whole lot there right now, but it will direct you to our show, which by the way, airs Sundays at 11 AM EDT.

I will also be spending the day creating a website and Facebook page for the show, both of which will be separate from the websites and FB pages Jay and I have currently.

And there you have it…

I hope that you are as asscited as Jay…

And I…

Are.

Here’s to the success of the soon to be greatest BTR show evah…

I’m With Stupid!!

Which by the way, airs Sundays at 11 AM EDT.

More info on the site and FB page as they develop. Time to knuckle down, drink much, and get to work.

Cheers!!

Three Strikes...You're Outed!!

Another long day at the Beer Mine on this beautiful Tuesday in Bagwine, Ohio, and in spite of sore feet I shall press on.

Monday at the Mine wasn’t too bad. All of the deliveries and salespeople showed up early including the Beer Mine’s favorite Mexican Ice Delivery guy, Luis!!

As you know, we have been having fun with Luis by writing offensive signs and putting them, without his knowledge, on the back of his truck before he goes to his next stop.

Well on Monday, Drive-By Mikey wasn’t there, and Luis pulled into our place with a helper.

When Luis backed in like so…

He and his helper hopped out and Luis said to me, “Ha, I'm here…Go Ahead, Get your sign ready.”

Knowing there was now no way to pull off another sign gag, I merely chuckled, and mumbled that I hadn’t even brought my camera with me.

Well guess what?

I LIED!!

So now...Our Moment of Mexican Merriment with Luis!!

And here is what Luis’ truck looked liked as he pulled away en route to his next stop…

Luis is so lucky that NAFTA was passed. It makes total access to the North American Man Boy Love Association soooo much easier on him.

Ha!! I want to thank Average Chick for suggesting this week’s truck sign message. As she intimated to me last week,

“When I saw a truck today that had NAMBLA written on the back it, I thought of you, Matty.”

How warm…how sweet. Thanks AC!!

And folks, that’s it for today. Eleven hours again at the Mine today, so I will catch up with ya all on Wednesday.

And then, I will impart new Blog Talk Radio show information. There’s a title, a new link, and other fun stuff to pass along to you.

Until then…

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Blog Talk Radio

It's going to be a beautiful Sabbath here in Bagwine, Ohio, because I am off today and broadcasting live with Jay-Man at 11 A.M. EDT.

Of course prior to our show, I have much to do so I must be off.

Amen, and Amen.

If you'd like to listen in on or call into our test show on Blog Talk Radio, the link be HERE, Bitches!!

Cheers!!