Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Heidi Montag's Plastic Surgeon Killed in Car Crash

I have much to do on my day off so I shall be brief…and yes, I can hear you applauding; so suck it, Bitches.

Anyhoo…

Today’s entry includes three emotions…

Sadness, Happiness, and Downright Arousal.

The sadness…

On Tuesday, Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan was killed when he accidentally drove his car over a California cliff.

It seems that he was driving while texting a message about his border collie who was in the car with him, when he and his car plunged to their earthly demise.

The dog survived. This tragic event proves two things.

One…It is not safe to text while driving, and number two…

Even if a bitch is some man’s best friend, in the end, she walks away and the man ends up with nothing but pain.

Heidi Montag is said to be in mourning, but it’s reported that her tits have remained quite perky throughout the entire ordeal.

Happiness…

My son Ryno begins his sophomore year of High School today.

His Mom and I hope that this is the year he finally gets his academic affairs in order.

He loves school but more as a way to exhibit his basketball prowess and enjoy the social aspects.

I hope he becomes more well-rounded this year and adds studying to his priorities.

But…he is quite the independent young and going to school makes him happy so, my friends, that makes me happy.

Downright Arousal…

Jay-Man and I are going to be doing our second test show on Blog Talk Radio today at 11:30 A.M. I’m getting asscited about the show, but here’s what really arouses me…

I’ll be talking with Jay live for anywhere from a half an hour to an hour. If you’ve never experienced it, talking with Jay is HOT.

And that’s all I have for today, you chuckleheads.

Enjoy your Hump Day, and as always…

Cheers!!

31 comments:

Micky-T said...

You lugs need a second test?
And your picking on Ryno to get his act together, sheesh.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: And we're going to do a third one next week, so there. I'm not picking on Ryno to get his act together, I'm praying for it. Cheers Mick!!

MysteryChick said...

Third time's the charm, or so I've heard.

Happy Hump-Day Matt-Man. (that's a lot of hyphens isn't it?)

Matt-Man said...

Chcik: Damn right it is, and if it isn't? We'll do whatever it takes, dammit. I dig the hyphens. Cheers Chick!!

Charlene said...

Over a cliff? WOW

I took the "No Phone" pledge last winter and haven't used my cell for anything while driving since.

Matt-Man said...

Charlene: I took the No Phone pledge back in 2002. Haven't had a cell phone at all since then. Cheers Charlene!!

Jay said...

I wonder if he starting thinking about how gross Heidi Montag is and just drove off the cliff?

Not only are we doing another test show next week, we might do a fourth test show. And even a fifth. There's just so much less pressure on test shows. LOL

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Damn right...Maybe that's all we do. Test Shows where no one can ever call in. We'll show the nay-sayers dammit!! Cheers Jay!!

David said...

>>>He loves school but more as a way to....enjoy the social aspects.

Hmmm....seems that apple didn't fall from his sperm donor's tree.

On a separate note....in spite of her loss, Heidi seems to be holding up well AND it appears she is quite the "healthy" girl.

Matt-Man said...

David: I beg your pardon...I also graduated with a nearly 3.9 gpa and worked 30 hours a week while doing so. Cheers David!!

Mike said...

How many tests? If you to many more without doing the real thing you'll qualify for government contractor status.

Mike said...

do

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Maybe you're right. Jay and I should just jump into this and sound like so many other awful shows on BTR. Cheers Mike!!

Scott Oglesby said...

But it’s only August 18th how in the hell could school be starting back up. They must be pissed. It gets earlier every year, damn.

I can’t wait to hear you two!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: I know. We never started until after Labor Day. What a crock. And jay and I shall try hard not to disappoint. Cheers Scott!!

Michele said...

Good luck to Ryno this year. I'm sure you have pointed out that high school IS his job and as such it is his responsibility to do a good job of it. Oh, and BTW if you don't do a good job of it that is a clear indication that you want to work to pay your own car insurance, gas, maintenance, date money, all sporting equipment..... you can see where I'm going here. The rule at our house was; if you try hard, do your homework, get good grades (or way over adequate) you don't have to work while in school and I'll pay for everything. You slip up? It's off to Burger King for you. And the 3 strikes rule does not apply!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: We uttered much of that verbatim. For some reason his synapses seem not to fire when we do because thus far it has not sunk in, but we shall see and I remain hoprful. Cheers Michele!!

Doc said...

Congrats to Ryno!!

Matt-Man said...

Doc: For what? He's lucky to be starting this year as a sophomore. Cheers Doc!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...The Radio Test Dummies would be a good...

Matt-Man said...

P-Man: Ha. Indeed it would. Cheers P-Man!!

Desert Rat said...

The kids here went back to school on Monday. I think it's a way to keep the parents from killing them off when the heat has been going on for waaaay too long - get the little lovelies out of the house. Of course it also offers the schools the benefit of not actually having to cook the hot lunches.

I'll be crossing my fingers for the Ryno, although I didn't get my own act together until I was a junior... in college... but at least my social life sucked, too. I didn't play any sports or cheer and I was in choir. If that doesn't have "socially challenged" written all over it, nothing does.

Matt-Man said...

Rat: As much as I love you, I shall NEVER repeat your tormented life history to Ryno. It's not good, nor a learning experience. Cheers Rat!!

Desert Rat said...

Ahhh... perhaps it's not pretty, it's true, but today, I'm a scientist, and I have at least five friends!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Oh it's pretty, because not only are you a scientist, you're a scientist who is hot and occasionally finds Cheetos in her bed. Cheers Rat!!

Jeff B said...

It's too bad Heidi wasn't in the car with him. Those two big beautiful air bags would have surely saved his life.

Matt-Man said...

Jeff: Ha. I believe you are correct sir. Cheers Jeff!!

Candice said...

Probabably a good thing there aren't any cliffs in Dallas Tx or I would have driven off of a few by now.

Matt-Man said...

Candice: Don't you ever do that. The world (and my fantasies) needs you around. Cheers Candice!!

Dana said...

Brief? That was brief?? Tighty-whities are brief!

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Well, for me it was. I just can't shut up. Cheers Dana!!