Monday, August 16, 2010

Sean Hannity Must Die!!

Yeah, you read that post title correctly. Sean Hannity MUST die.

That’s right…The FOX News talking head, talk radio babbler, and diaper-wearin’ crybaby, Sean Hannity, must die.

I listen to him on the radio and watch his Fox News TV show, and have come to the conclusion that he needs dirt sleep…bodily expiration…a copious amount of blunt force trauma upside his massive, square skull.

Allow me to ‘splain.

First of all, he has been, like many others of his ilk, railing against the proposed building of a community center/mosque near Ground Zero.

His arguments transcend the emotional argument that some use based on the mosque allegedly being a slap in the face to those who died in the 9/11 attacks on the WTC. No, no, my friends…

Blockhead Hannity in his delusional, bizarro world, extrapolates that the proposed mosque is a launching pad for Muslims to somehow usurp our Constitution and replace it with the evil Muslim code of Sharia Law.

I bet blockhead Sean utters the phrase, “Sharia Law” every two minutes.

I think he actually doesn’t want the controversy to go away because he loves to say, “Sharia Law!!” Sharia Law this…Sharia Law that.

It’s annoying as hell, but let me tell you, if a hot Muslim chick wants to become a porn star, Sharia Law would be a sexy name. On top of that, it would make Sean’s head assplode.

But seriously, one reason he should die, is because of the Sharia Law echo. Okay, maybe not die.

Maybe punishment for him saying, “Sharia Law” every two minutes, is to experience it, and have his tongue cut out. Trying saying Sharia Law now, Hanny-Boy!! Ha!!

Another reason Hannity should die? His frickin’ Freedom Concerts that he puts on to raise money for scholarships for children who have lost a parent serving in the military.

What the hell is wrong that Matt-Man, you ask? Let me tell you.

This year the musical acts have been Charlie Daniels and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Holy Cow!!

Charlie has been going down to Georgia with the Devil for decades, and the faux Skynyrd band is fronted by no-talent Johnny Van Zant who has been riding dead brother Ronnie’s duster coattails since 1977!!

If Charlie and this Skynyrd knock off band had been around during the Holocaust..?

Hitler wouldn’t have gassed the Jews, he would have forced them to listen to these two bands until they offed themselves.

For that, Blockhead Sean, must die. Okay not die, but something like likewise suffering at the hands of Nazis.

Perhaps we could somehow resurrect Hermann Göring and force Hannity to have hot, man on man cross-dressing sex with Queen Hermann.

And then…On the FOX Hannity show there are his guests. Oh dear God!! Michelle Malkin? Full of Hate. Ann Coulter? Full of hate and testosterone. Juan Williams? Vacuous. Ha.

Juan doesn’t know the difference between an Indian worshipping a bovine in Calcutta and one in South Dakota smoking peyote. What a dim bulb.

For this, Sean Hannity must die…Okay not die…but he should have to have sex with those hateful chicks while Juan looks on trying to figure what the hell is going.

I know…I know…this was incredibly mean-spirited of me, and I, unlike Hannity, do not think I am God, therefore I cannot make another person die.

However, Sean could kill me. Well, kill me in an indirect way.

You see, I often hear a promo for Hannity’s radio show that goes something like, “Listen to Sean weekdays from 3-6 and get Hannitized!!”

It should read more like this: “Listen to Sean weekdays from 3-6, and long to be euthanized.”

Oy, what a clown…Oh, there’s another thing about Hannity that I don’t like…

He smells like a bushel of rotten potato peels and onions that have been pickling for six months in a jar of Frankenstein’s urine.

Where did that come from and how do I know, you ask?

I have no idea, but it’s true, because I believe it.



Charlene said...

I have never listened or watched him. That may because I don't turn the dial to FOX. Today I was half watching a pre-season football game on FOX and I did hear commercials. They're different than those on other channels.

It all boils down to me reading newspapers and watching very little news. Michelle Malkin, Dr. Laura, Sarah P are just people and I don't think they are worth listening to.

Matt-Man said...

Charlene: I watch all of the news and opinion shows. Right, Left, whatever. I like to hear it all. Cheers Charlene!!

Jay said...

I just can't watch shows like Hannity and well, any of them. It's best for my blood pressure and it keeps me from throwing things at my TV or radio.

Also, Ann Coulter's makes up for Juan Williams' lack of testosterone.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: I yell once in awhile and cuss often, but I laugh at their lunacy just as much. They make me laugh. And Ha...good line. Cheers Jay!!

Mike said...

I glad you watch/listen and keep us informed. These people are just to bizzare for me to listen to.

Scott Oglesby said...

You bring the gun and I’ll bring my squeezy finger.

I agree with what you said totally and you said it well! However, I feel that these people are entertainers first and foremost and they are trying to get paid like any other entertainer. I honestly don’t even think he believes half the shit he spews to frighten the fat, old, white men.

The only exception to this rule is Glenn Beck. He really is scary crazy.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: I do it as a public service. I watch this shit so you don't have to. Cheers Mike!!

Scott: Oh I disagree. Hannity is one of those who does believe what he says. He's a right wing, monocular nut. Cheers Scott!!

Michele said...

These non-news people spew hate then wonder why crazy illiterate sons o'bitchs do awful things. Oh wait...they know why crazies to awful things...liberals make them do it.

I'm glad you can stomach them because I sure can't. We won't even talk about what JR says. Those words should not be used in polite company.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. Of course its the fault of Liberals...and Muslims. And seriously...

If you guys are ever near Ohio stop by, so JR and I can crack open some beers, watch Hannity together, and throw the empties at the TV. Cheers Michele!!

Michele said...

He would love that! Don't say it if you don't mean it. We will probably be up in Indiana in the next couple of months for my friend, Terry's wedding. She's marrying her Muslim Syrian boyfriend that she met in Greece. Now, wouldn't that piss off the Hannitys of the world.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Sweet. Just let us know when you're up in our neck of the woods. I'll even make a Loosemeat Sandwich for JR. You? I'll heat up a can of spinach for ya...or something.

And Ha...A Muslim Syrian. That would make Hannity's head shatter into little pieces. Cheers Michele!!

Micky-T said...

I know lead is getting expensive these days but I'll gladly supply the lead, powder and casings to take him out.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Thanks but I don't really want him dead...That would make me just like him in how he feels about the Constitution. Cheers Mick!!

Micky-T said...

OK, let's just fill his mouth with lead, pour the powder up his nose and stuff the casings up his ass.

All these nut cases should be ashamed of the information they feed the gullible masses. Such a disservice to our country. It really is.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: It is in a way, a disservice, but the many Americans who refuse to think for themselves and eat this shit up, are a much larger disservice to this country. Cheers Mick!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I saw Frankenstein's Urine at Lollapalooza last year...

Matt-Man said...

P-Man: You partook of it too, dintcha? Cheers P-Man!!

Micky-T said...

Hey be careful now, your talking about my mother and brother and they're respectable church going, God fearing, Micky adoring Americans. ha

Micky-T said...

Have you seen this?..

David said...

Gentlemen and Womyn, please welcome to our stage tonight our amazing new dancer and international star Miss Sharia Law who will absolutely amaze you with the strength of her thighs as she hangs upside down clinging to our new dancing pole in her burka.

Pay no attention to the adams apple or hairy hands.

Please tip generously and enjoy the show.

Dana said...

Every time I hear “Sharia Law,” a song plays in my head ...

♫ I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection ♫

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I checked that link out briefly before I wen tot work, but will look at it again later. Thanks. Cheers Mick!!

David: Adam's Apple? Hairy Hands? Isn't that Ann Coulter? Cheers David!!

Dana: When I hear "Sharia Law", I just think of flat bread and hummus. Cheers Dana!!

Raquel's World said...

I listen to him sometimes on the radio just to annoy myself. He is quite a pompous arrogant a-hole/ What's more shocking are his listeners. The whole loot of them appear cult-like. A real "good- ole-boys network" And Ann Coulter...major bitch that needs a bitch slapping. Isn't odd her last name is "coulter" seems like CULT-er. Or even CUNT-er.

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: You are is very cult like. Anthrax Coulter is a puke. Cheers Roc!!