Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Koran Burning and Pigskin

It’s going to be a bee-yoo-tee-ful Sabbath here in Bagwine, Ohio today.

Partly cloudy and 76 degrees. Ahhhh, kind of a mix between Fall and Summer. I deem today to be the beginning of Fummer.

And you know what else begins today…That’s right, the NFL season. Boooo-Yah!!

Okay it really began Thursday, but that was only one game, and Brett Favre played in that game…

And since the old fucking prima donna who throws more interceptions than he does grow whiskers never really practiced with the Vikings during the pre-season, it was like a pre-season game so it doesn’t really count.

Speaking of football…Notre Dame lost to Michigan yesterday 28-24, but I wasn’t completely sorrowful.

At least Notre Dame didn’t completely suck, and it looks as though they may not be embarrassingly awful this year.

On the downside of things, Schmoop’s uterus is up to its monthly hijinx. All shedding the lining, discharging unfertilized eggs, and what not.

So, Matty-Boy ain’t havin’ sex anytime soon. Well, at least not with an actual person. Bummer. Oh well, as I mentioned, there’s always football to watch.

It will be enjoyable swilling some beer and tossin’ back some snacks while the Fummer air circulates through the digs while football is on, and Schmoop is doubled over in pain and drooling.

It has all the making of a Norman Rockwell painting titled: Fummer Comes to Bagwine.

Amen, and Amen…

Have a wonderful Sund---

Oh Hell, wait just a minute sports fans…there’s one other thing taking place today as well.

Jayman and I will be doing our Blog Talk Radio Show, I’m With Stupid, today at 11 AM EDT.

If you’re not going to church today, tune into us, listen, and by God, call in!!

We’re going to be talking about Koran burning, pigskin, Pastor Terry Jones, and pulled pork sammiches.

It promises to be more fun than screwing 72 virgins on the 50 yard line of the Superdome.

Here’s the link to the Show Page, creatively titled: Link to the Show Page!!

Have a wonderful Sunday all, and as always…

Cheers!!

Our show has beem rescheduled for 1 PM EDT. Listen in Bitches...or not!!

Brett Favre Signs With The Vikings...Evidently, Retirement Is a Full-Time Job

Hey guys, guess what!?

Brett Favre is going to play quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings this year. No, seriously. He came out of retirement…again. And why not?

One year, 12 Million Dollars for the 2009-10 NFL season. Brett-Boy will get 13 million in the 2010-11 season if he plays.

Hell, maybe the Vikings will even give Favre a bonus of a few million after this season if he decides to come out of this year’s post-season retirement prior to next year’s training camp.

What the hell? I mean, sure, that’s quite a bit of cash, but isn’t dignity and being taken seriously worth something...?

Especially when he already has all of the cash that he and his family will ever need?

Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

I am all for someone working at what they love as long as they want, but Jeebus Christ…In my view, Favre has become a joke with his, “I’m retired. I’m un-retired.” bullshit. Nora Desmond was less dramatic than Favre.

Poor Brett…The Green Bay Packers after years of quality service, traded him to the New York Jets last year instead of kissing his pretentious, “retired” ass, but c’mon Brett get over it.

I understand that playing for the Vikings offers you the opportunity to stick it to the Packers twice this year, but is it worth it? It isn’t for me, but of course, you owe me nothing.

However, I will say this. I enjoy watching old clips of Willie Mays in his, “Say Hey Kid” days playing for the Giants, not wandering around as a doddering old man playing for the Mets.

I like to remember Johnny Unitas in his Baltimore Colts uniform throwing a perfect spiral to Raymond Berry or handing off to Lenny Moore…not as a past his prime quarterback getting beaten up as a San Diego Charger.

I like to remember porn star Ron Jeremy banging Seka back in the day when his dick was bigger than his ginormous gut.

Brett…get over yourself. And now, something lighter…

Some Happy Birthday Wishes!!

First up, my longtime friend, Sherri.

Good OLD Sherri turns 45 today. She was my first true love, and I was her first sex partner.

Sherri owes her great sex life to me, because after having sex with me, every subsequent guy she has ever gotten biblical with has seemed incredibly good in the sack.

You’re welcome, Sherri…and Happy Birthday!!

A Happy Birthday also goes out to Schmoop’s brother, and my friend…David.

Dave is one of the best friends I have ever had. He’s rude, crude, and never minces his words.

However, he is also one of the kindest guys I have ever met, and would do anything for anyone…if the “anyone” is someone who isn't an asshole.

Happy Birthday David!! Maybe your “other” sister will show up with a Happy Meal or a coloring book for ya, but for the record, I dig ya.

Have a wonderful Hump Day all. I hope you spend it tipping a few for Sherri and Dave and wiping your ass with an old issue of Sports Illustrated that has Brett Favre on the cover.

Cheers!!