Death of a Politician

Well, the Obama/McCain debate last night yielded for me a couple of things.

McCain looks old. He sounds old. He seems sad and he strikes me the same.

Sad in the way seeing a once great 39 year old major league ball player who can no longer catch up with a high fastball, has slowed in his running, and can no longer turn the double play.

Much like many aging baseball players who see their time under the lights fading, Johnny Mac clings like grim death to his celebrity, sense of ego, and the idea that he can still hit the political home run.

I have in the past, called McCain, a mama’s boy…a bully. Bullies are actually, quite often cowards.

Last night after a weekend of attacks on Obama’s character using lies and distortions about Obama’s “ties” to William Ayres delivered by Sarah “Lame and Tall” Palin…

McCain passed on doing the same in last night’s debate. He chooses to hide behind Palin’s skirt and let her offer up the red meat to the electoral audience.

He knows what they have recently been saying about Obama is a series of lies, and when the bully goes head to head with somebody who might fight back to these lies…McCain backs down.

The worst thing is that when the campaigns hit the trail anew today, McCain and his femme fatale proxy will once again regurgitate the same lies.

“Go get ‘em Sarah!! Beat Obama up!!”, McCain will tell her. Palin will say, “You betcha, John.”

Another sad reality of this campaign. McCain didn’t turn to Palin because he thought she was qualified. He turned to her to help him get something that he so desperately wants.

He uses her…and because of ambition, she lets it happen. This entire situation leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And yes, kinda makes me sad.

I guess the most defining moment of the debate was when McCain was answering a question about a bill that had been voted upon.

McCain who disagreed with the bill, told the audience that he didn’t vote for it, but guess who did?

Pointing to Obama, the Mac-Man let us know who voted for the bill by saying, “That One.”

That One?

No, Barack? No, Obama? No, Senator? “That One” is how he referred to a man who may be the next President.

It was like watching the baseball player I mentioned that has been benched for a pinch hitter, and the player screams at the coach, “But it’s my turn to bat, it’s my turn, Coach“”

I write satire and make fun of McCain, but I don’t revel in this situation. It did make me a bit…well…icky.

McCain has reached a low point. He will say and use anyone to get elected, and yet says, that with him, "It's Country First”.

It may have been at one time in his life, but now…

It’s McCain First.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man: Representin'

Tonight, Barack “He’s a Terrorist” Obama and John “Early Bird Special” McCain will hold their second debate.

The battle royale takes place at Belmont University in Nashville, TN.

I refer to this oratorical smack down event as, The Music City Mutterings.

They will get to speak their peace (or is that, piece) tonight, so I thought I would take this time to speak mine.

Here is my position on Health Care that I would enact if elected to govern this nation.

The Matt-Man Health Care Initiative

Preventative, mental health, and medical care will be a right, and free to all Americans. How do I propose to pay for this expensive venture?

Simple…I will seek passage by Congress of a, Stupid Driver Tax.

Those who fail to merge correctly, don’t use their turn signals, pull out in front of other drivers and then go ten-fifteen mph below the posted speed limit will be taxed $20.00 per offense.

Even with that minor level of monetary taxation, that should be more than enough to cover the cost of my Health Care Plan.

Doctor’s visits?

From now on, the doctor will come to YOUR house to see you.

More importantly…the doctor will have to sit in your living room in the midst of sick, contagious people for at least ninety minutes prior to you coming out for your examination.

Breast and cervical exams will be provided by me, Matt-Man. I will fondle your fun bags with medical diligence.

As for the cervical exam, I will not use a cold, steely spatula…er…speculum. I will use the Matt-u-Lum; and I think we all know what that is.

President Matt-Man, at your cervix!!

For men, prostate exams, will be performed by the following…

For Liberals, Tyra Banks dressed in only thigh high stockings and a man’s dress shirt will be thrusting her digits up your ass.

For Moderates, it will be Jessica Alba sporting a bikini, who invades you.

For you Conservative dudes out there, your glory hole will be invaded courtesy of the fingers of Bea Arthur.

Sorry, no lubricant for you guys, and by the way, Maude will be in all her naked, octogenarian glory while checking you out.

As for the issue of stem cell research?

I will call for Dick Cheney to be dissected, his stems cells harvested, and we will find out what makes him such a major league asshole and correct the situation for generations to come.

Can you imagine a future without assholes? You're welcome.

Will I call for legalized medical marijuana? No. Why, you ask?

Because marijuana will be legal for anyone and everyone!!

Hey, just treat the stoners the same as drinkers when it comes to the law, tax their vice of choice the same, and Boo Yah!!…We’re makin’ money, America!!

What the hell, let’s take over financial control of the poppy crop in Afghanistan, and our nation can ride heroin production to financial freedom.

Take that OPEC and Red Fucking China!!!

So there you have some of my health care stances. I hope you find them insightful.

Enjoy the debate…or not. But one thing for sure…

Cheers!!

Tune into Turnbaby's BlogTalk Radio Show Tonight at 8 EDT. For Details Click HERE.

Debate This!!

There was yet another Presedential debate yesterday. This one involved the Republicans talking mainly about economic matters. The questions revolved around Social Security, Health Insurance, Jobs, and even the war in Iraq.

As I watched and listened to the debate, (which by the way, resembled a group eulogy for the local Country Club golf pro) when the candidates answered a question the only thing I heard was, “blah, blah, blah”. I am sure that these debate topics are important, but for me, I want REAL answers to REAL questions.

With that in mind, I have come up with a list of questions that I would like to ask of the candidates of both parties. Following is a partial list of those very queries, and the candidates’ potential answers…

Matt-Man: Gov. Romney, there has been much talk that perhaps your Mormonism, and its history of polygamy may pose a problem for your chances of being elected President. How do you respond to that without alienating either your fellow Mormons or the evangelical Religious Right?

Romney: First of all, as a Christian, I believe in the sanctity of marriage and a cornerstone of marriage is that it is between one man, and one woman. However, in deference to my Mormon roots, when I win the nomination, I plan on having anywhere from 3-5 Vice Presidential running mates.


Matt-Man: Mayor Guiliani…Imagine yourself in a grocery store and upon checking out, you notice that the old lady in front of you in the Express Lane has 19 items rather than the allowable 15. How do you react?

Guiliani: First, I remind her that I was Mayor of NYC in the aftermath of 9-11 and I tell her that ever since 9-11 it is more important to follow the law. If that doesn’t work, I let her know that because of 9-11 I must get out of the store quickly in case there is another 9-11 type tragedy. I would then advise her that check out lines 9 and 11 are open. If all of those attempts fail, I would bitch slap her with a pint of Spumoni Ice Cream and call for the invasion of Iran.


Matt-Man: Senator Obama…Family Value issues seem to be very important to voters. With that being said, I ask you, do you and your family ever sit down together to a Sunday dinner of medium rare roast beef, mashed potatoes, and a crisp salad like most white families do? As a follow-up, do you celebrate Thanksgiving, and if so, do you Bar-B-Que your turkey? As a matter of full disclosure I want to let you know Senator and the audience as well, that this question was sent in by Bill O’Reilly.

Obama: That’s an interesting question, however I think the real issue is this. If my family did do that would American troops be any safer? Would I have still spoken out against the war in Iraq from the get go? Would I still lack substance yet remain dashingly charismatic? If I can still answer yes to those questions, then I have but one thing to say, “Pass me the roast beef, Matt-Man!!”

Well folks that’s it for today, but don’t worry, I will be posing hard hitting questions to all of the candidates. Until then, my fellow ruminators, Cheers!!

NOTE: In addition to leaving your comments on my posts, if you have questions of me, or suggestions for the site you can email me at: neshobadude@yahoo.com