Showing posts with label December. Show all posts
Showing posts with label December. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

December...It's For Sarcastic Bastards

Well folks, it’s finally here…DECEMBER!! My favorite month of the year.

We have Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and the Muslim New Year observance on December 18th, Al Hijra.

And guess what?

We are going to make fun of each and every one of these holidays as we do every year here at Bagwine Ruminations.

Today also marks the unofficial beginning to another year in The War on Christmas (Sponsored by the National Review and FOX News).

Bill “I Need More Tinsel” O’Reilly will undoubtedly be once again leading the charge against evil secularists who want to pee all over the Holy Birthday Cake of the Little Baby Jeebus.

Of course let us not forget the solemnity of December 7th. This December 7th marks the 68th anniversary of the dastardly attack on Pearl Harbor by those sneaky yellow devils from Japan.

I will remember Pearl Harbor Day as I always do…by telling one of my favorite jokes of all time.

Did you hear about the guy who was half black, half Japanese? Every December 7th he attacks Pearl Bailey!!

Nothing like mixing some solemnity with hilarity.

Anyhoo…That’s all I have today. Consider this post to be a preface for the hijinx and frivolity to be on tap during this holiday rich month here at BR.

Oh, one other thing…

As I did last year, I am offering to send Christmas cheer through the mail. If you’d like a Christmas card from me just drop me an email with your name and address and I’ll send it out.

One caveat…


Unlike last year, I am not hand making each card. My left hand had cramps for days last year and for once it wasn’t from jacking off to a picture of the Virgin Mary in a stable, laying atop a bale of hay while fully dilated.

Oh shut up, it was a gift. Anyway, I’ll be signing and sending store bought cards so let me know if you’d like one.

Now that you know what will be going on, I bid you a happy Tuesday.

Cheers!!