Showing posts with label Heywood Banks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heywood Banks. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Solid Rock Church Lightning Strike: Big Butter Jesus Rouxs The Day


BREAKING NEWS!!!!

We are living in the end times my friend.

Last night just north of Cincinnati in Monroe, Ohio tragedy struck in the form of an Almighty lightning bolt.

With a flash of ecumenical electricity and the thunderous clap of God’s ginormous hands, the graven image or more accurately Styrofoam image of Big Butter Jesus, was turned to toast.

Fall to your knees and ask for forgiveness because our wicked ways have displeased the Lord so much, that he morphed the King of Kings statue outside The Solid Rock Church into a puddle of godly goo.

The metal frame is all that remains of this testament to the faith, love, and criminality of Pastors Lawrence and Darlene Bishop.

Pray for us all and pray that a newer, bigger, and animatronic Jesus is rebuilt soon. Yeah, an 80 foot tall animatronic Jeebus would be way cool….and pretty damn funny.

I take a moment to mourn our loss by playing Heywood Banks’, Big Butter Jesus.



Amen and Amen.

Our regularly scheduled offering is posted below.

Cheers!!