Solid Rock Church Lightning Strike: Big Butter Jesus Rouxs The Day

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

We are living in the end times my friend.

Last night just north of Cincinnati in Monroe, Ohio tragedy struck in the form of an Almighty lightning bolt.

With a flash of ecumenical electricity and the thunderous clap of God’s ginormous hands, the graven image or more accurately Styrofoam image of Big Butter Jesus, was turned to toast.

Fall to your knees and ask for forgiveness because our wicked ways have displeased the Lord so much, that he morphed the King of Kings statue outside The Solid Rock Church into a puddle of godly goo.

The metal frame is all that remains of this testament to the faith, love, and criminality of Pastors Lawrence and Darlene Bishop.

Pray for us all and pray that a newer, bigger, and animatronic Jesus is rebuilt soon. Yeah, an 80 foot tall animatronic Jeebus would be way cool….and pretty damn funny.

I take a moment to mourn our loss by playing Heywood Banks’, Big Butter Jesus.



Amen and Amen.

Our regularly scheduled offering is posted below.

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Solid As A Rock

A short Sunday Morning Church Disservice today…My face is still swollen. I think it is my body rebelling against my decision to go meatless during Lent…Such a pissy body.

Any of you who have traveled up or down I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio have probably seen the Solid Rock Church just off to the side of the highway.

In front of the Church, is a great big statue of Jesus coming up out of a pool of water. Holy Water perhaps.

This statue never fails to crack me up instill in me a great deal of reverence. It is a moving work crafted out of holy alabaster plaster.

Pastors Lawrence and Darlene Bishop (pictured above) are the founders of this Godly Get Together Temple.

I think we owe them a word of thanks for having the courage to show their love for Jesus and their unbridled sense of gaudiness by erecting this stirring piece of art.

This Sunday, in lieu of asking God to help clear up my face, please go to their website and leave the Bishops a word of thanks and encouragement for their ministry.

The link to their Church Website is: Solid Rock Church

I emailed them at 7:15 this morning, and told them that while Darlene is a little long in the tooth and seems to have had some plastic surgery, I still find her pretty damn hot.

I hope they write me back.

Amen, and Amen…

And now for our Sunday Serenade…This is a stirring tribute to the Solid Rock Church Jesus statue written and performed by Heywood Banks.

Many of you have probably heard it before, but it is always worth another listen. Especially, today…The Day of the Sabbath.

Cheers!!




NOTE: Catch Turnbaby’s BlogTalk Radio Show tonight at 8 EST. For details, click HERE.