Dine In or Drive-Thru...Either Way, It's Heavenly

Through out this Lenten season, I haven’t really talked about religion

God spoke to me last night, and put a prophetic word into my ear.

Well, after he told me a joke about Moses, Jesus, and Helen Keller.

Old Helen gets parted and healed by those two, but not in the way you think!!

The Almighty is a hoot!!

Anyhoo, His Heavenly Honcho wants me to build a chain of Biblically marketed fast food restaurants.

We first discussed the name of the eateries.

We thought about perhaps calling it “Bagel King”. Then God and I chuckled about maybe calling it, “Jack on a Cross”.

We finally settled on “McSavior’s”.

Look out Ronald McDonald, there‘s a new grease grinder on the block, and we’re gonna nail your creepy, saturated ass to the wall.

We will be offering the typical fast food fare. You know, Burgers, Fries, and Milk and Honey Shakes. But there are some divine twists…

We will have a messy sandwich that is made out of a Manwich type of concoction.

It contains tomato sauce, ground beef, spices, and a whole bunch of despair. We call it, the Sloppy Job…

We kinda borrowed an idea from White Castle. Our joints will offer a mini steamed burger like theirs.

Ours, however, is made from slow cooked shredded rump roast, and it’s called the Sodom Slider.

Just like the White Castle version…Heaven Forbid when it works it’s way through your system and goes out your backdoor!!

We have an awesome French Dip Sandwich as well. Thinly sliced beef, Swiss cheese, on a warm French baguette.

How is this Bible-Related?

It is served with the best damn Au Jew sauce you have ever tasted.

For all of you Jewish men out there who prefer a daring dining experience, you can order one of our delicious Shiksa-Ka-Bobs.

Yum Oh, and Oy Vay, baby!!

Our signature sandwich is made of two all lamb patties, special oil, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a marble rye bun…

We call it the Big Maccabee.

It‘s a Menorah of a Meal, and will keep you full for at least eight days.

Of course, if you want to make your sandwich your way, order it plain, and take it over to our Crucifixin’s Bar.

All of these items are available as an Apostolic Combo Meal, I-XII.

Whether you are looking for a meal of good value, or salvation on a bun, we offer you both.

And a word of caution to McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, and all the other chains…

Don’t mess with us, because we all know what can happen…




See you tomorrow for Half Nekkid Thursday!!

Cheers!!