2010 Pre-Season NCAA Football Rankings: Holy Mary, Mother of God...

The 2010 Preseason USA Today/Coaches’ Poll was recently released…

1. Alabama (55) 14-0 1,469 1
2. Ohio State (4) 11-2 1,392 5
3. Florida 13-1 1,245 3
4. Texas 13-1 1,240 2
5. Boise State 14-0 1,215 4
6. Virginia Tech 10-3 1,052 10
7. TCU 12-1 1,051 6
8. Oklahoma 8-5 1,035 NR
9. Nebraska 10-4 1,001 14
10. Iowa 11-2 952 7
11. Oregon 10-3 940 11
12. Wisconsin 10-3 778 16
13. Miami (Fla.) 9-4 728 19
14. Penn State 11-2 508 8
15. Pittsburgh 10-3 492 15
16. LSU 9-4 476 17
17. Georgia Tech 11-3 455 13
18. North Carolina 8-5 445 NR
19. Arkansas 8-5 438 NR
20. Florida State 7-6 374 NR
21. Georgia 8-5 312 NR
22. Oregon State 8-5 263 NR
23. Auburn 8-5 260 NR
24 (tie). West Virginia 9-4 169 22
24 (tie). Utah 10-3 169 18

Does something seem amiss? Where is Notre Dame in the rankings?

Oh that’s right…

When Lou Holtz left Notre Dame some 15 years ago or so, it evidently became a campus edict that Notre Dame shall never again field a competitive football team.

As a result, although I slip up here and there, I gave up watching Notre Dame football games on TV a couple of years ago.

Not because they sucked and that I am some sort of “only there when they are good” kinda fan, but because I still held out hope.

Even as the gridiron program of the Golden Domers spiraled downward, I believed every fall Saturday for years, that they would turn things around.

With excitement in my heart and a smile on my face, I would tune in to watch and within minutes after kickoff..?

The “fuckin’ idiots”, “son-of-a-bitches”, and “God Damns” would start flying from my frothing, beer soaked mouth.

It was unsettling that I would cuss so much at a football team fielded by a university named in honor of the Virgin Mary. So, I repented.

In order to keep my blood pressure down, and retain a seat in Heaven, I gave up watching Notre Dame football.

I shall refrain from watching Notre Dame football this year as well. Well…for the most part.

You see…I am by nature an optimist, and there will always be an ort of holy hope residing in my soul, that Notre Dame will once again be a playah.

I’m working all weekend so you don’t have to, so enjoy it, and pray that I do not encounter too many idiots while manning the Beer Mine.

Cheers!!

Urban Meyer Resigns Himself To An Indefinite Leave Of Absence

Okay, now let me get this straight...

Urban Meyer, the coach of the University of Florida football team announced Saturday that due to health concerns, he would be resigning, and that the Sugar Bowl on January 1, 2010 against the University of Cincinnati would be his last game.

The sports world was shocked, as was I. How could a guy who has an obscenely successful head coaching record of something like 95-18 leave the game at the age of 45?

Ol’ Urb cited health concerns…Claimed his 45 year old ticker was giving him and his doctors fits.

He didn’t like the prospects of having a jug of Gatorade tossed over his head after a victory, have a myocardial infarction and die at midfield while clutching his heart with drool coming out of his mouth on National TV.

No he didn’t like that prospect at all. Urb wanted to get better and spend the rest of his 40 so years on Earth with his wife and family. And the only way to do that as of this past Saturday, was to quit coaching and take it easy.

Well, until Sunday rolled around. On Sunday evening, Urban Meyer said that being with his players at a “spirited practice” Sunday morning persuaded him not to resign. So…

The Urb-Meister will be taking an indefinite leave of absence instead of resigning and after the Sugar Bowl, Steve Addazio will be at the helm of the Gator football squad.

In less than a 24 hour period, Urban Meyer joined the likes of such sports greats as Michael Jordan and Brett Favre by retiring and un-retiring while a nation of sports fans were held captive by the drama.

The only difference is that while Jordan and Favre let the melodrama of their situations drag on with the pace of Marathon runner, Coach Meyer played out his tragedy and rebirth at the speed of Usain Bolt blazing down a 100-meter track.

Damn Straight…Coach Meyer has refused to let the course of his future be drawn out into a swirl of uncertainty. Urban will definitely be on the sidelines coaching the Gators during the 2010 NCAA Football season…or will he?

During a press conference on Sunday, Meyer said that despite his health concerns, he expects to be on the sidelines when the Florida Gators open next season. He continued…

“I do in my gut believe that will happen.”

WTF? He “expects to be on the sidelines”? He “believes in his gut” that it will happen? What kind of doublespeak and anything but definite kind of talk is that crap? What a dick.

Either be the coach or don’t, Meyer.

You allegedly have a bad heart (uh-huh). Are you saying that the problems will go away after just a couple of months? Or are you saying that the U of F wants you to act like you are staying so that potential recruits do not get scared off and go somewhere else?

I don’t like the smell of this. It smells of musty ball sweat stained jock straps and deceit.

I think Florida convinced Meyer (perhaps with money)"to stay", in order to save the recruiting class. But…

I can also see this situation as nothing nearly as nefarious as stringing recruits along as I have suggested.

Maybe Urban Meyer, outside of his skill as a football coach is simply a rash, annoying, fucked up crazy person.

He is after all…a devout Catholic.

Cheers!!