Saturday, March 22, 2008

Holy Saturday: Inky Wins A Tony!!



Holy Saturday in Bagwine, Ohio.

Jeebus is still dead, and I’m still meatless. But just think, in less than 24 hours…

Christ will arise from the dead, and I’ll be stuffing dead, delicious animals down my throat.

Praise be to Jeebus, and to all of the fine folks across our country that slaughter cows and pigs!!

Come tomorrow morning...

My faith in them will be as fresh as the smell inside the women’s bathroom at the Massengill factory.

The posts that I have put up this past week have helped to cleanse my soul and restore my faith in blasphemous humor.

The comments have been off the wall and it was good to see that you all like a well delivered Jeebus joke as much as I.

As for the
Bagwine Ruminations Comment of the Week™…

There won’t be a COW today for a couple of reasons.

For one, I havent had a chance to go through them all.

Secondly, there probably won’t be much traffic this weekend.

Why award someone for their comedic talents if nobody knows about it? Exactly.

Today, I have to make an Easter card today for my son to give to his mom. And then my friends, the fun begins.

I am going to have my head shaved by my personal stylist and then, I’m going to make a Pope hat!!

Yes indeed my friends, when the sun rises Easter Morning…

I will honor the return of the Messiah with a shorn head, while eating Loosemeat, and wearing my Blitzkrieg Benny chapeau.

I am having a religious experience just thinking about it.

With that, I must go defrost some meat, and make sure my camera is ready to take plenty of pictures of the events of the day.

Enjoy your Holy Saturday, and I shall be back tomorrow for a brief Easter Sunday Church Disservice.

Cheers!!

39 comments:

Dana said...

I will honor the return of the Messiah with a shorn head, while eating Loosemeat, and wearing my Blitzkrieg Benny chapeau.

Will you be doing this half-nekkid? I think hot pork grease, dripping down a man's hairy chest is so sexy!!

Schmoop said...

Dana: My Easter gift to you will be the picture you just described.

So let it be written; so let it be done. Cheers!!

Odat said...

"Ouch"...lmao.....you sick, sick man!
Peace

leelee said...

Inky and Lola ROCK!

Matt...I am soooooooo looking forward to the photos!

I just had a blonde moment..and I can only be redeemed by admitting it publicly..

I thought the comment of the week was:

"There won’t be a COW today for a couple of reasons."

I had to read it like 5 times before I relaized that...There won’t be a COW today for a couple of reasons.


I NEED MORE CAWFEE FOR LEELEE!!!!!! Must be this motell livin' I've been doing..

Have a great Saturday...sounds like a busy day!

HUGS!!

Schmoop said...

Odat: Ha...Thank You. Have a great weekend Odat. Cheers!!

Leelee: That's funny. Busy Day? Yes. Productive Day? Ha, No.

Plus I have to work in drinking time during all of this. However will I do it? Cheers Lee!!

Leighann said...

I fear for the meat in your house, but oddly enough, am turned on by the thought of you ravaging it....

Schmoop said...

Leighann: Ha. The only things bigger than your sense of humor are your most impressive breastesses. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

So, the Either Bunny is bringing you either bacon, or beef, or SPAM, or...whatever, right?

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Yes to All. And I am kicking off the day at 7 AM with a 1/2 pound of a leftover Loosemeat concoction that I froze just prior to Lent.

Hosanna in the Highest, Baby!! Cheers!!

Cheesy said...

I hope to see 'da hat in a pic post darlin! I am working on my alibi to the wee ones....

"Noooo grama DIDN'T eat the choco bunny's ears... THATS the Easter squirrel!"

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Oh da hat will be in a pic.

Why don't you just say, "Yeah Grama did eat the ears punk. You gots a problem wif dat. Well, do ya punk?"

Okay, maybe that's not in the Easter spirit. Have a great weekend Cheesy. Cheers!!

Mo and The Purries said...

There may be less traffic, but the people who DO visit and leave comments are true bagwine heads!

Hoppy Easter,
mo

(puttin' the mo in mogen david since 1967)

Schmoop said...

Mo: And you are on of the best Bagwine Heads evah. Have a good weekend and enjoy your Jewish Bagwine. Cheers my friend!!

Jeff B said...

Would the phrase "Holy Cow" be appropriate tomorrow?

It's gonna be a meatapaluza in Bagwine I have a feeling.

Schmoop said...

Jeff: It will be a graphic and gratuitous display of oral sensation not seen since Deep Throat.

Happy Easter to you and your family, Jeff. Cheers!!

Jay said...

Pope Matt-Man I

I like it! Much more a Pope of the People than these complicated Pope names.

Desert Songbird said...

Mo's right - we're diehard Bagwine-heads, so we should be rewarded for our loyalty.

You shit.

Schmoop said...

Jay: Damn Straight. It is far less prententious. Congrats to your Razorbacks. Cheers Jay!!

Schmoop said...

Songbird: You want a reward? I got you reward right here, dear. Cheers, and congrats to your Bulldogs as well!!

DirkStar said...

Wow, no cow?

Shot down, pow...

I'm leaving, like now.

Schmoop said...

Dirk: I am so dissed...
Your prescence will be missed...
But instead of crying, I'll go and take a piss.

High brow prose baby. Cheers!!

Lex Valentine said...

When is Palm Sunday, the masturbatory holiday? I don't do religion so I'm not sure. I must rely upon you for all things religious. I would never have known Mac Daddy J made up knock knocks otherwise.

I have some maple sausages and bacon and stroganoff on the menu for this weekend. And HOT WINGS. I will be thinking of you with every bite. RAWR.

Great Inky and Lola! I am breathlessly await a pic of the Pope Chapeau!

Schmoop said...

Winter: Tsk Tsk Tsk. Weren't you at our service last Sunday. Palm Sunday was last Sunday.

Mmmmmm bacon. I will be partaking of some in less than 20 hours. When you bite into that meaty goodness, think of my bunny. Cheers!!

Lisa Ryan said...

Have a Happy Easter Matt-man! Did Lola get a boob job? they look a little bigger.

Schmoop said...

Lisa: Thanks Lisa. Happy Easter to you and your family. And yes, I was horny this morning, so Lola's boobs were bigger than normal. Cheers!!

Jahooni said...

can i come over and eat your meat? ;)~

Schmoop said...

Jahooni: Sure, but please warm it up in your kimchi pot first. Wow, this is not doing us any favors with the Almighty. Cheers!!

maryt/theteach said...

Matt-man, I heard this morning that you can get 40,000 hamburgers from one cow.

I have an Easter wish for you here :)

Ed & Jeanne said...

Better make that a fleece pope hat...it's still cold out there.

Travis Cody said...

Happy Meat Feast!

Unknown said...

Awesome cartoon this weekend. Have a good one tomorrow, and enjoy your MEAT!

Lu' said...

Bald can be beautiful. My man looks good with a chrome dome. I think he looks good when he grows it back and it's barely there, keeps it buzzed Don't forget to post pic when you Represent! Have you ever listened to Tom Lehr?

Lex Valentine said...

I was here last Sunday, Matt. I swear! But I'm a left coaster, so it was early and I obviously retained very little having just awakened. Damn. Lost out on the masturbatory holiday.

I was just drooling over the bacon that is for breakfast tomorrow. I almost caved in and made BLTs for dinner. Instead, I had leftover spaghetti, with a VERY meaty sauce. I anticipated your joy with every bite.

Liz Hill said...

hee hee--HAPPY MEAT EATIN' EVE!!!!

katherine. said...

40 days and nights meatless and then you go for FROZEN?????

Happy Easter to you and Schmoop and the Rhyman!

Anonymous said...

Waiting for breakfast? Or going for the midnight snack?

Jahooni said...

It is Easter Day for you.... 11:12pm my time so I bet you have already eaten one cow, 2 pigs and 3 chickens.... right?! ;)~

Schmoop said...

Thanks for the comments one and all. We had an internet issue last night that prevented me from getting back with you.

Okay, the truth is that I was just too damn Bagwined up. Cheers!!

Ginormous Boobs said...

Almost time for the meat orgy to begin...AMEN!