Beer in Hand, Pen in Mouth, and Holy Baby Jeebus, I Got Nuthin'

I am at a loss of late as to what to write about.

I mean, I could always talk about politics, but...

That bores some of you to death, and I don’t want to be responsible for your death.

Sure, I could live with passing on my herpes to you, but causing your death? That would be a bit unsettling.

I thought about writing about Joel Osteen’s wife being sued for assault of a flight attendant, but the alleged victim that is suing her seems to be half a nut as well.

Sharon Brown says that as a result of getting pushed by Victoria Osteen, she developed hemorrhoids, and that is part of the damage compensation sought.

Holy Moly, if hemorrhoids were worth money...?

I’d be typing this from my beachfront cabana in Tahiti, in between hosing some thick Polynesian chick with an insatiable appetite for breadfruit and tea baggin'.

I thought about writing about last Sunday and what happened after I got really Bagwine-Faced.

But alas, I can’t remember a damn thing that happened after the second fifth of Rose.

VE of VE’s Fantastical Nonsense, is doing a post sometime today that includes a reference to me. Maybe I’ll just live vicariously through him today.

If you have never read VE, you should.

He is always amusing and when he is at his best, he's one of the funniest Mo-Foes around.

Of course, VE recently got married, so that could change pretty soon.

Catch him now, before both his humor, and his will to live begin to decompose.

I thought perhaps, I could talk about which of my readers I’d most like to have sex with, but that changes each time somebody comments.

I figure I could just hose all of you at once…A Ginormous Bagwine Orgy. That way we could save time on me disappointing each of you on a individual basis.

I am off today. So tonight I finally get a chance to cook again. I am going with a rural, down home menu.

I am making cornbread stuffed with sausage, cheese, and onions…Omelets, and corned beef hash.

After the meal, and keeping with the rural, life on the farm theme...

Schmoop and I are going to pretend to be brother and sister and have sex like rabid chickens.

Cock-a-Fuckin’-Doodle-Do!!

Maybe I’ll take pictures for Friday’s post…Of the food, not the sex, you perverted bastards.

You guys still awake, or did I lose you by now?

Anyhoo, these are the things that came to mind, and upon which, I will not post.

I’m sure Dana, is over at her site Ho-in’ around, being all Half-Nekkid n’shit.

If you are in search of some excitement, or in Vinny’s case, the elusive hard-on, you can always stop by her place.

Have a great day everybody. If I think of anything to write about, I’ll let ya know.

Cheers!!