Schmoop and I are both off today.
Her brother David is coming over for cocktails later.
Ryno and his mom are undoubtedly enjoying the four day, school sponsored tour of Washington, D.C.
Simple things like that make me happy.
However, I must confess something to you all. Yesterday on my site, I lied. Well, I didn’t lie. I plagiarized.
If you re-read yesterday’s post and then compare it to the Biblical verses of Matthew 5:1-16, you will see that they say the same thing.
Ha. That’s right.
I took the first sixteen verses of the Sermon on the Mount (which includes The Beatitudes) and applied them to our times, and to my blog. Clever, no?
I was waiting for somebody to pick up on that, but alas, only Jeebus did, and he told me that he was quite amused by it.
I myself, was chuckling when replacing the Salt of the Earth allegory with telling you that you are the Bagwine in the Bottle.
Ha. I kill myself sometimes.
But I will tell ya…while the post was full of satirical hyperbole, I meant everything that I said.
Anyhoo…
Because of the positive effect that my ontological message had, I am making some changes in the Bible.
The Sermon on the Mount will now be known as the, Sermon of the Matt…or the, Sermon Before the Mount. I haven’t decided yet.
The Beatitudes? That’s easy. From now unto eternity, they will be known as, The Be-Matt-Ti-Tudes.
And that, was that.
Friday is a VERY special day here at Bagwine. I hope you can join me for it.
And, as I said, Schmoop and I are both off today, so I hope I can make Friday’s special post in a timely manner.
We tend to drink when we are together. It helps us tolerate each other.
Enjoy your Thursday…
Cheers!!
40 comments:
I LUV this, this is too cool. I am not sure which is better, Sermon before the Mount or Be Matt Ti Tudes. I swear you are a genius, I think MOUNT wins...disciple Matt, your work here is not yet done.
p.s. I just went and re read your rendition of the beatitudes and I loved it when I read it the first time, but making that connection now- it is just really cool how you modernized it and gave it your spin. You really do have great writing skills.
Snugs: A genius? Why aren't others as perceptive as you? ; )~ If only that were true. But thanks, Snugs. Cheers to ya!!
they are just slow learners, that's all, it is not their fault :)
Snugs: I'm fair. I just keep pluggin' along with my words. I have my moments, and I will say that all y'all make this place a fairly humorous place to be. Cheers Snugs!!
Matt darlin' I would have so called you on that if I hadn't been out of town. Then again I have a problem with authority and the establishment so the whole plagiarism thing might have been okay. Have some fun with Schmoop
Michele: It would have been okay with you? Sweet. That's like getting your blessing.
And as we all know, the blessing of a shusshing librarian is worth far more than that of Jeebus hizzself. Praise Be to Dewey!! ; ) Thanks Michele. Cheers!!
can you help me memorize my bible versus?...and i'm glad both you and Schmoop are off today...you are such a giver...
Matthew 5:1-16?
Never heard of it.
We tend to drink when we are together. It helps us tolerate each other."
That's why I drink heavily before coming to read your blog. ;-)
Teamster: I try. And you know what I typically get in return? heartache, that's what. Cheers!!
Jay: Ha. A wee dram, or eight, does help before coming here doesn't it? Cheers Jay!!
yeah yeah....the gospel according to Matthew...
hope schmoop enjoys being be-matt-ti-tuded.
I like when you are in a good mood.
smile.
I missed the title first time around....confession is good for the soul...
You know, Katherine commented on my blog that she misread something someone else said because she'd been hanging out here so much and her views were warped.
You are such a Svengali, Matt-siah. I told you your servants bow to your will.
See I knew there was something about that post that was different!
Matt-ti-tudes....I dig that!
Kat: No being Be-Matt-it-Tuded over the next few days. She is suffering from the curse of Eve. But I am still am in a good mood. And yeah, a confession every now and then is good for the soul. Cheers Kat!!
Songbird: She is not warped, she is enilightened. Svengali...THAT is one of my favorite words. Cheers!!
Starr: Yes you did. I thought maybe you were gonna figure it all out. Cheers Starr!!
The Matt Mounted Sermon?
The Mount Matt Sermon?
Matt Mounts the Sermon?
Micky: Ha. Those are all good. I just can't get my hands around the exact phrasing. Maybe some Rose today will spark my synapse gaps. Cheers Mick!!
Have a good day off.
I hope to see a matt-man edition bible in the barnes and noble some day.
Hammer: Why thank ya. That would be a bit of work, but I'll tell ya...The comedic possibilities are eternal!! Cheers Hammer!!
Jeebus doesn't miss a trick does he :)
Lu: Of course not...He is one bad ass Messianic Magician. Cheers Pal!!
...I knew it all along...about the Bible thing yesterday... just didn't wanna come across as a Know-y Knowerton...
Phfrankie: Oh you did not. And I know that because Jeebus told me alllllll about you. He also said that I should tell you to avoid crosswalks in the near future. Cheers P-Man!!
God, your clever Phfrankie.
Micky: Clever like the Devil. Cheers Mick!!
..."The Avoiding Crosswalks" would be a good name for a band...
I look forward to going to a football game and holding up a sign that reads
'Matt-Man 5:16 Cheers Bitches'
thru the ages asshats have rewritten the Bible for their own agenda - it's about time someone gets it right
He's being clever all around his own mind today!
See!
LMAO @ Dianne
Phfrankie: Ha. I should have seen that coming. Cheers!!
Dianne: Ha. I would pay to see that. Especially if you were wearing nothing but body paint while holding it. Rowwrrrr. I'll try to cover the other books. Cheers Sexy!!
Micky: Don't stifle his self-aggrandizement. And Di? Man, she rocks my world. Cheers Mick!!
You better get back on the meat soon...those hallucinations are beginning again I see
I am so proud of you for not venturing into Semon on the Mount territory ;)
Bond: Are you kidding? Meatlessness makes me much sharper. Praise Jeebus!! Cheers!!
Starr: Ha. I wasn't going to venture there, but hey, that's not bad. Cheers Starr!!
Sermon on the Mount? What? Ugh... I have not been in a church for years. This went over my heathen head completly.
Knight: That's okay you have a pretty head over which to go over. Cheers Knight!! Hope things are with ya.
Believe it or not, I just read the Sermon on the Mount a few weeks ago, but some how missed the link to the Be-Matt-It-Tudes. I think I had better re-read that section!
And aren't you glad your parents didn't name you George? It wouldn't have been quite the same, would it?
Well, as you know, there is no way in hell, I'd ever be able to pick something like that up. Now copying a Beatles lyric, I'd have busted you.
Dana: Well, how could you miss The Beatitudes? The meek, the poor, the indigent. Oh, Baby. Cheers!!
Fantasy: You frickin' atheist, you. Dear God, I love you. How Ironic. Cheers!!
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