I am in a good mood today.
Schmoop and I are both off today. Her brother David is coming over for cocktails later. Ryno and his mom are undoubtedly enjoying the four day, school sponsored tour of Washington, D.C.
Simple things like that make me happy.
However, I must confess something to you all. Yesterday on my site, I lied. Well, I didn’t lie. I plagiarized.
If you re-read yesterday’s post and then compare it to the Biblical verses of Matthew 5:1-16, you will see that they say the same thing.
Ha. That’s right.
I took the first sixteen verses of the Sermon on the Mount (which includes The Beatitudes) and applied them to our times, and to my blog. Clever, no?
I was waiting for somebody to pick up on that, but alas, only Jeebus did, and he told me that he was quite amused by it.
I myself, was chuckling when replacing the Salt of the Earth allegory with telling you that you are the Bagwine in the Bottle. Ha. I kill myself sometimes.
But I will tell ya…while the post was full of satirical hyperbole, I meant everything that I said.
Anyhoo…
Because of the positive effect that my ontological message had, I am making some changes in the Bible.
The Sermon on the Mount will now be known as the, Sermon of the Matt…or the, Sermon Before the Mount. I haven’t decided yet.
The Beatitudes? That’s easy. From now unto eternity, they will be known as, The Be-Matt-Ti-Tudes.
And that, was that.
Friday is a VERY special day here at Bagwine. I hope you can join me for it.
And, as I said, Schmoop and I are both off today, so I hope I can make Friday’s special post in a timely manner.
We tend to drink when we are together. It helps us tolerate each other.
Enjoy your Thursday…
Cheers!!
Oy Vay Folks…
This weekend is my last meat-filled weekend until Easter. Ash Wednesday comes this week ushering in the 2009 Lent Season.
And thusly on Wednesday, I will begin my 3rd Annual Meatlessness for the Messiah. Forty-six long days without juicy, delicious meat.
I guess it comes at a good time because I weighed myself last night and was up to 189. Of course…
Much of that was because I had been constipated for a couple of days. However, the pizza and chili cheese fries I ate last night abated that malady this morning.
I bet I dropped 3-4 pounds this morning while sitting on the can reading I Corinthians. The Bible moves me in powerful ways my friends.
Good ol’ Schmoop weighed herself as well. She is a gargantuan 126 pounds. She’s 5’7” and yeah, you guessed it, she thinks she’s fat.
Unbelievable.
Anyhoo…I will be putting the meat away this weekend. Storing up as it were for my trek through the wildnerness of meatlessness.
In order to prepare myself and to help me through the perilous journey, I have summoned my Dashboard Jeebus and placed him next to my computer.
Speaking of meatlessness, we haven’t had sex in a week. A week folks!!
I work 11-4 today, but when I get home, a certain someone is gonna get a copulation complex. Or would that be a, complex copulation? Anyway…
It ain’t going to be some candle lighting, soft music, Chinese coos of, Me Luv Yu Long Time, kinda sex.
Noooooooooo.
It’s going to be, “Okay I got the perfect buzz now, so let’s go get naked and make each other bruised and wet” kinda sex.
The best thing? I colored Schmoop’s hair again yesterday. It’s going to be like hosing a different woman. Meowwwwwww.
She’s lookin’ HAWT my friends…
It’s too bad that she's so damn fat.
Have a Saturday!!
Cheers!!
