Thank God It's Good Friday

It's Holy Week Happy Hour™ , so, drink up Bitches, the laughs and Bagwine are on me.

As I have pointed out this week, Hayzoos was one funny Messianic Mo-Foe.

Facing certain death, did not dull JC’s spear tipped wit.

When the Romans came to escort him to his demise, he told them:

“I can’t go until I do LX Push-Ups and do my XXX minute Pontius Pilates workout, LOL. I wanna be able to push away that big stone later. LOL.”

And then Jeebus spoke to a couple of the Centurions:

“Hey boys, I had the strangest dream last night. God was speaking to me and kept calling me Moses.

I said, "Father, my name is Jesus, not Moses, yet God kept calling me Moses, Moses, Moses..."

I finally said to him, "My God, my God, why have you mistaken me? LOL."

Yeah baby, JC’s stand-up act was kickin’ ass to the end. He even turned his Heavenly Hilarity onto one of the condemning Rabbis:

“Yo, Rabbi, what’s the difference between a horny pig and a Pharisee? A horny pig eats pork. Bada Bing, Bitches. LOL.”

And then he spoke...

"Y'know how I walked on water? I strapped on a pair of water moccasins. LOL"

Once at Golgotha, and getting readied to be hung up, J-Mac entertained the crowd by doing one of his now famous Knock-Knock jokes…

Like the one he told to the onlookers, using Simon as his straight man:

Knock-Knock…Who’s There? God…God Who? Goddam this is gonna hurt!! LOL.

He brought the crowd down with that one and then had a request. He shouted to Andrew:

“Yo, ‘Drew-Dawg…Get this party started by throwing on some Crucifixion music. Throw on that song that I like so much.”

With that, Andrew played this, centuries later, Bagwine Classic:

After the Romans nailed JC to the cross, and firmly planted the crucifix into the hillside, Jeebus got in one last zinger:

“I’m just glad that the KKK has yet to be invented, because they’d set this crucifix on fire, and I’d end up with Hot Cross Buns. LOL”

And with that, the crowd laughed, Jeebus looked skyward, and simply said...

“Tetelestai, Bitches”.

And so it was…

I hope you have enjoyed your Super Happy Hole-ly Jeebus Week here at Bagwine Ruminations. Be safe, have fun, and enjoy your Easter Weekend.

Believe or not, Jeebus' words ring true, and if we all practiced them, it would make this world a better place.

Let's lose our apathy about being better people. I mean, just think if the above picture that funny man and thinker, Hammer sent me was true...This world would suck.

In the words of Christ and others who have followed his example, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Have a wunnerful Easter, all.

Tetelestai, Bitches!!

Cheers!!