Friday, December 04, 2009

Blow Out Your Advent Candle, Christmas Is Here!!

Christmas has come early to Bagwine…

I found out late yesterday that I am off today. We have moved to our winter schedule at the Beer Mine, and I thank Pizza Bill for letting me know.

You see, our owner was too busy applying cream to his feet, asking for pesos, and dealing with crazy fuckers named Shaky-T to let me know about the change, so PB stepped up and let the Matt-Man know that I was free to bandy about today.

So I thank Pizza Bill for that, and now, secondly...

If my son isn’t “stretching the truth” (his dad put it kindly) and the soon to be posted online grades reflect what he is telling his mom and I, he is doing much better in school.

Also, his first regular High School game is tonight, and if he can keep up what he did in his last scrimmage, my little 5’10 small forward with size 14 feet will be putting up 9 points, 7 rebounds, 3 assists, and draw 1 charge tonight.

I am really proud of Ryno because of his basketball prowess…

Not because it makes him a “manly athlete” but rather because it is something to which he actually does show commitment.

He has always gotten bored quite easily and would often walk away from things, especially if he didn’t conquer them the first time.

Basketball is something which at first, he wasn’t very good, but for some reason, he would not let it go away. He stayed with it and constantly practices and more importantly knows the game.

Sometimes, I think he would make a better coach than player, but anyhoo…

I wish he had the same attitude towards his classes, but at least I know that he now knows what commitment is, and how one aspect of life can affect another. He knows now that he needs grades in order to play.

See this picture..?

This is a picture of the last 12 antibiotics that I have to take. I will have completed my ingestion of said pills at noon today. On Tuesday, I was done with my $14 a piece pills that I was taking for a month.

This may not seem to be a big deal to you, but being done with taking my $525.00 worth of pills signifies something more than being in better health and incredible debt.

It signifies that once again, after two lonnnnnng months, Schmoop is willing to have sex with me!!

Schmoop had refused to have sex with me because she didn’t want me to blow a lung out on her and suffer the embarrassment of having the paramedics peel my dead body off of her warm, sweaty, lithe body should I expire during sex.


That all comes to an end as I am going to take her drunken ass to bed and rediscover the hot body that has no doubt been ravaged by every man in the neighborhood while I have been under the weather.

Wash it up Schmoop, Matty is coming home!!

So there you have it. There’s good. There’s bad. But…

Even in the darkest of times there is hope. And, I hope that after reading the last part of this post, Schmoop acquiesces and still allows me to have sex with her.

It would only be right after suffering so long. Right?



David said...

I refuse to believe that Schmoop would have found another man who could pleasure her in the manner to which she was accoustomed - while you were indisposed.

Plus, I think she was too busy caring for our beloved Matt-Man to have time for those interlopers.

That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it.

I could be wrong here....but I don't think so. Plus, even if I were inclined to switch teams for you, Matt-Man, I don't think I would have done that while you had that toxic lung thing going on. I'm just saying....(I know you expect that sort of sexual orientation confusion comment from me..right?)

Scott Oglesby said...

I can’t believe how cheap prescriptions are over here. The same acid reflux pills I was paying $80 for back home now cost me $4. The Clonazepam that I was paying $40 for are now $4. Sadly they have no version of Percs or Vics or any variation thereof. Anything short of an amputation, they give you ibuprofen. But at least there are a lot less drug addicts. Well, at least less prescription drug addicts.

Congrats and good luck to Ryno! May he be the next Sean Miller.

“Wash it up, I’m coming home” –you are priceless!

Matt-Man said...

David: Ha. I never know what to expect from you and that's what I like. And yeah, Schmoop probably remained chaste while I was incapacitated. Cheers David!!

Scott: The pills in the pic were only $100.00 for 400. The other scrip I took was $425.00 for 30. 30!! WTF!?

Ryno is playing small forward; his coach and I have compared him to Andre Iguodala and Peja Stojakovic in the way he plays...not bad company.

The "wash it up" line is even funnier when I say it to her in front of others, but she always tops my line by saying, "okay honey." Cheers Scott!!

Micky-T said...

A simple prescription I take is $10 for three months at the local Kroger Store.
When getting it renewed at my doctors office, they screwed up and somehow I got the same prescrition in the mail from somewhere with a bill for $93.
No way! I got it all fixed and sent them back.

So many people!
So many people getting fucked.

Glad your done with all that crap. Are you feeling all anti-bioticked?

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I understand all of the costs of research and development for new drugs but you're right... Prescription costs are way out of line, and people get screwed.

Like the one antibiotic I mentioned that is 14 dollars a pill. WTF?

It's not an entirely uncommon drug that can only be mined from a magic cave in a remote area of Mongolia or something.

Cheers Mick!!

Phfrankie Bondo said... better hope Schmoop didn't go all Meredith Baxter on ya during the drought...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: She hasn't gone lesbian on me but she does find Heidi Zadeh incredibly hot which has conjured up all sorts of fantasies in my mind. Cheers P-Man!!

Doc said...

Im glad he takes charges.... hoops is about the fundementals.

Schmoop said...

Are the pills gone yet??? ARE THEY???

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Taking a charge is a lost art in basketball like bunting is in baseball. Cheers Doc!!

Schmoop: They will be by noon!! And Seamus is itching with anticipation. Cheers and Zoves!!

Bond said...

Good luck tonight...don't bust a lung you woosy

Matt-Man said...

Bond: No worries mate...The only things I'll be bustin' are Schmoop's womanhood and her self-respect. Cheers Vin!!

Schmoop said...

I have no self respect. Just sayin.

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: That is exactly what drew us together from the start. Cheers Baby!!

Dianne said...

Since I owe you a phone call I'll wait until tonight and then I'll just start calling every 15 minutes ;)

Here's to Ryno kicking ass in tonight's game!! Love the new photo of him, he looks so grown.

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: He does look older with his head buzzed.

And dig it...Talking to you on the phone while I'm having sex with Schmoop would be the next best thing to a three-way that I could hope for. Cheers Sexy!!

Four Dinners said...

He deserves it Schmoop!!!!!!

Grades? Can't recall ever getting any...oh couple of times

Matt-Man said...

Four: She delivered ol' bean. And grades? Way overrated. Cheers FD!!

Dana said...

Damn! Ryno is sure looking like you these days with that shoven ... shaven ... shorn? head!