Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Cynical Bastard Bounced Me Into Building a Blog Banner

Happy Hump Day, Kids!!

At work Tuesday, I was thinking humorous thoughts and jotting down notes about what I thought President Obama should say during tonight's State of the Union address.

I got home about 7:15 P.M., cracked open a beer, and fired up the ol' Bagwine computer.

After checking my e-mail which contained nothing but spam, I answered a couple of comments on my site and then headed over to Jay's site.

I found, much to my chagrin, that he had already written a very funny post about Obama's aforementioned SOTU address. I was quite pissed amused.

So...

I started creating possible banners for the new website I am working on in order to get comedy gigs, pundit spots, and the like.

I came up with a couple of variations on the same idea. I was taking into consideration that I don't want to be known as merely a comic, but also one who can provide a humorous and non-ideological commentary on social and political issues.

With that in mind...Here is what I have come up wit thus far. Let me know what ya think if you have a minute. And please, if you hate it, let me know...I can take it.

Sample Number One:


Colorful Commentary for Our Black and White Times


Sample Number Two:


That's all I gots, Bitches...

I'm off for three straight days and I'll be OCD'ing over this new site the entire time. I hope the beer helps me to cope.

Cheers!!

56 comments:

Clay Perry said...

colorful commentary for our black and white times... yeah... i like that...

Matt-Man said...

Clay: Thanks. I like it. It's simple...not too clever...and the picture matches up with it, and it doesn't box me into a corner of simply doing one type of thing. Cheers Clay!!

Dana said...

OK, I'm really NOT blond, but I've never gotten that whole clock thing. Is it like "time" for Matt-Man?

I really like the tag line "Colorful commentary for our black and white times."

That first banner though?? Ehhhh ... I think I know where you were going with it but ...

I like the second one much better!

Jeff B said...

I for one am pissed! I already put a down payment on a shiny new set of wheels knowing full well that you were going to use my idea and subsequently kick down with large piles of cash. Now I'm going to have to go back to the dealer and tell them the deal's off. Thanks a lot ya dick!

Oh ya, I like the second banner much more. The red on the sides is nice without being in your face. It also makes you more of the focal point instead of the clock or the bottle.

Matt-Man said...

Dana: You don't remember the clock thing? It was for a New Year's Eve post. 2 minutes til midinght. It's nothing deep. Thanks and Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Jeff: Ha...A Thousand Pardons, Jeff. Sorry 'bout that, hey, wait a minute...did you call me a dick? Eh, you're right, and I agree with ya on the samples, I'll fiddling with more ideas tomorrow. Cheers!!

3 Men and a Lady said...

LOL @ Dana's clock comment.

I like the way the 2nd one looks, too. Maybe crop out to get a little more of the bottle in the pic, though. And the tagline is really good, but try the whole tagline in the same size/font. Your name should be what is in different size/font so that's what their eyes are drawn to first.

And I also still like the idea that someone had a few posts back about "looking at life through a rose colored bottle". I thought that was clever.

3 Men and a Lady said...

Oh and did you ever hear from the blogher gals? LOL

Desert Rat said...

I vote for banner number two.

boo said...

Banner number 2, all the way. I like how it looks like one of those motivational poster thingies. Tee hee!

Jay said...

Well, I was going to vote for banner #2, but everyone else is. I hate just going along with the crowd. So, I say back to the drawing board!

Or, go with #2. Either way. But, keep "Colorful commentary for our black and white times." I do like that. ;-)

Jeff B said...

I did didn't I?

Just offering up a little heckling from the audience. Thought I'd get you in the stand up frame of mind. I'm a giver that way.

VE said...

Sheesh...I have to follow other commenters links to get here now (hint hint)!

I like the tag line...

bobbybegood1 said...

Hello Matt,

First time to your blog. Found your blog through Cathy. Enjoy your blog very much. You are one EXTREMELY funny man!!! Don't like following crowds, too; but I have to agree with most others and say pic 2 is much better. Look forward to blogging with cha.

Scott Oglesby said...

I like them both, but I love the first one. The contrast is sharper helping to drive home the point that you are indeed….different. I like the tag line as well. Did you find an open mike night anywhere close yet and set that up? If not, get on that shit. Get everyone you know to come and laugh and laugh and laugh until they puke cheap wine. Get it on tape and photos and you’ll be ready to roll!

If I haven’t told you lately; I’m proud of you bubba….we all have to reach higher baby!!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: I have made noted on everything and no...I haven't heard from the BlogHer chicks. I'm not feelin' the love of their "community" atmosphere. Cheers D!!

Rat: Succinctness makes me hot. Cheers Rat!!

Boo: Ha. That's exactly what I designed it on. I have no fancy design programs on my computer. Cheers Boo!!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: These are just the first couple examples. But I agree wuth ya. I like the tag line and will probably keep that. Cheers Jay!!

Jeff: You are a beautiful human being. Cheers Jeff!!

VE: I like it too. Sorry VE, I haven't been getting 'round much since I started working on this. But I'll be by soon and cuss yoyu out. Cheers VE!!

Matt-Man said...

Bobby: Why thank ya, and I diiiiig Cathy. I will not your vote and thanks for the comment. I'll be by soonly. Cheers Bobby!!

Scott: Ahhhhh. Someone who likes the first one. Interesting. And I agree with your contrast point. I'll be working on this using this tag line.

No open mic night yet. While I have plenty of material, I haven't assembled it into a coherent, flowing set yet. Cheers and Thanks, Scott!!

Micky-T said...

....see e-mail....

I didn't want you to think I'm a meany here so go there.

Lu' said...

I like the addition of the red it is very nice. I prefer the second banner best but I don't like that I see the top of the clock and bottle. Need to have the picture in 1 minus the clock and put it in the set up of 2. What? you don't still have the glasses, shirt, Irish Rose and cigs? Take the picture again minus the clock.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I got your email. You thought that was mean? Holy Cow, ya big Mary. You're a sensitive kinda guy aintcha? Cheers and Thanks Mick!!

Lu: Okie Dokie...I can do that, and I have a couple of other shots going through my head now too. But I'm thinkin' the tag line stays. Cheers Lu!!

Schmoop said...

Number two....nekkid...just sayin.

Micky-T said...

Your right, that wasn't mean, I could of called you a dick or something.

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Hee Hee...Thanks Schmoop, but I'm trying to get speaking gigs not calls from the Centers for Disease Control. Cheers and Zooves!!

Micky: Ha. I know it's in you. I've talked to you. Cheers Mick!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...right off the bat I must say that I believe the correct preposition to be "on", rather than "for" our times...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Ha. You don't know how I have struggled with three words in this picture. In, On, and For.

They are among other types of prespositions, all three, prepositions of time, and when writing it, I mentally put these two words before the tag line:

"It's" or "Providing"

They are all gramatically correct in this situation. Which one is better is subjective.

I settled on "for" because it gives a sense of a political ad where someone promises something.

ex. He's the best guy FOR the job.

FOR combined with OUR also gives the promise to the reader or in this case the prospective booker, that I will give them something and we our all in this together.

While I know that it implies that I am giving something "to the times", the average person, unlike a grammatician won't read it like that. And a big part of my selling point is being built upon talking like the average Joe.

Yes...I think about these things.

Cheers P-Man!!

Doc said...

Very classic in a motivational poster sort of way. I like the second one...

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Thanks. The format is going to change a bit as will the picture, but the tag line stays. I really dig, "Tick Tock Bitches", but that might shrink my ability to do political shows in addition to the comedy that I want to do. Cheers Doc!!

Matt-Man said...

All: You fuckers make a great focus group!! Cheers!!

Hope said...

hmmm, yep prolly the second one, but I bet you come up with more here in the next day or two.

Bond said...

I reject them both...go back to the drawing board...

#1 - The bottle is too prominent with the red highlights and takes the focus away from you.

The tag line is sitting out in the middle of nowhere and loses the association to the whole concept

#2 The top of the bottle and the edge of the clock makes one wonder what is there and indicates the user just took any picture and used it (which you did), which shows a lack of commitment to the whole concept.

30 years in advertising and marketing talking here my friend...just saying....

Bond said...

And I also agree that on #2 the tag line needs to be one size and one type face..you never mix type faces within a thought

I would suggest the same typeface throughout, you can differentiate by using italics or bold if necessary

Bond said...

Finally, and I know you will reject this one, but the cigarette will turn off MANY of your non comedy club potential clients.

It is the times dude..and if you want to make this a true career, you have to consider it.

Matt-Man said...

Hope: I already have one in mind Hope. Cheers to ya, Hope!!

Bond: I'll take that under advisement. I have no marketing skills. I'm just a spinner of yarns and a court jester. Thanks and Cheers Vin!!

Matt-Man said...

Bond: I'm doing a new photo, but lose the cigarette? I don't fuckin' think so. They can kiss my ass over that. Cheers Vin!!

Bond said...

Well, that is why I gave my honest opinion. It is what I have done my whole career.
Maybe have the cig unlit...so it looks more like a prop...your decision, but there are many corporations who will not consider hiring you, and then it is your loss not theirs dude.

HEY, you know my feelings on smoking, but there are times - when you want to make money - that you have to decide what is more important.

Bond said...

Besides, when you are on stage it will not be able to be lit in most clubs and certainly in any banquet halls

Starrlight said...

Vinny is correctomundo on the type face. I remember that from my yearbook editor days =)

I like 2 but I got to say Vinny has a valid point about the smokes. You will automatically limit yourself if you go with it.

Trying to get off my slacker ass and get back to blogging btw :P

Matt-Man said...

Bond: I appreciate your input,but you need to know...

The tag line in the first is no ttight simply because I couldn't get it any closer in my post and the small font on the second is because of the online program I was using. These are mock-ups. Concepts. I did them in two hours.

But for the gigarette. You must know what a target audience is. People who are overly offended by me smoking are no tthe kind who would enjoy my comedy anyway and aren't going to come to see me. There's a wave of non-PC coiming and I am going to ride it. Cheers Vin!!

Starr: Ahhhhhhh. So nice to see you. You are one swamped lady. Like I told Vin, I was using what I had to work with. But the smoke? Fuck Em. Cheers Starr!!

Bond said...

30 years in advertising and I do not know what a target audience is??? Your comedic style is one thing...your smoking is another..YOU need to learn what marketing is. Non-PC is one thing...state and local laws are another

Good luck...

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Actually I said that you do know what a target audience is. And I didn't say I would smoke in violation of law, I was saying that the smoke stays in any picture I take...Just like that particular pair of sunglasses need to stay. It's like seeing Superman in an episode of Seinfeld. Cheers Vin!!

Bond said...

Mis-read you

Still think you are making a marketing error...an unlit smoke is better than one smoked half-way down...then it is a PROP

David said...

I'm more drawn to the first one because I didn't care for just the screwtop threads of the bottle being visible. I guess that the bottle of WIR is appealing to me since it is such a typical part of your shtick.

Wish I was closer so I could make it to your standup events. I'm sure you will be a success but here are my best wishes if they help some.

Cheers

Matt-Man said...

Bond: An unsmoked cigarette IS just a prop. I ain't using no props, I'm gonna lay it all out there. Cheers!!

David: The first one is going to be closer to the final product after we take the new picture in element and feeling. And no worries..who knows...I may get lucky and do a gig in DC. My goal is doing the Correspondants Dinner. Cheers David!!

Lu' said...

Since you are taking another picture I like the bottle (too red in the picture shown) I'd like to see it with less liquid and some poured into a cocktail glass. The short squat mean business kind of cocktail glass. The kind typically used for an Old Fashioned.

Lu' said...

Oh and if you can manage it, seeing the smoke in the picture would look good too.

Mike said...

This comment is for Matt-man only! Nobody else can read it!!! Pic 1 but .... Up grade the clock to clock 2.0. Leave the minute hand between 11 & 12. Move the hour hand to between 12 & 1. See if anyone notices.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: I'll try everything you just said but you touched on something with the smoke, however it ain't gonna be smoke. And the glass you mentioned, I drink Rose out of Schmoop's Dad's beer glass...It's killer. Cheers my Pal!!

Mike: Ha. I'm going to go do that right now. I have nothing but time on my hands. Ha. Hear what I said? Cheers Mike!!

Dianne said...

the sexual tension between you and Vinny makes me hot ...

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Really? It makes me sick. Cheers Di!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I just wanted to be the 51st commenter...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Ha...I love you. You're Puerto Rico. Cheers P-Man!!

MysteryChick said...

I like #2 as well. There's too much happening in #1.

Also, I disagree about the cigarette thing. I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke and it makes me crazy when I step outside for a breath of fresh air and get a lungful of someone else's smoke instead. That being said, I exhale and move upwind. I would never make my entertainment choices based on whether there would be smokers there or doing the entertaining. I would just know that when I got home I would have to shower before bed.

Four Dinners said...

Looks good to me old bean.

Fancy a gig at The Five Bells in Harmondsworth England March 20th?

They won't pay you but you will get free beer! I'd travel anyplace for free beer! If you set off now you could hitch it and get here for free...;-)

Matt-Man said...

Mystery: Ha. Thanks for the comment. And since I smoke perhaps I should join you in the shower. Cheers Chick!!

Four: Consider it done. I'll start hoofing it now while the Atlantic is frozen over. It freezes right? Right? Cheers FD!!

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

I think the WIR should be in your shirt and you could have the clock on the table taking it apart feverishly and sitting next to it? A big fat crack pipe! But I dig whatever it says on the banner... Serious though, I like banner 2 best. I still hate the clockXD