It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiday so wring me out like a dirty sponge, cause’ I’m off today and soakin’ up life, Bitches!!
The ol’ “Top Hat” thingy that BP wanted to use to stop the oil flow on the fucked up rig isn’t going to work. No problem...
I have the solution to getting rid of the oil from the gulf and plugging the well.
Let’s soak up the oil spill with a giant ShamWow. It’ll soak the spill up faster than Rosie O’Donnell lapping up gravy from a bowl.
Then, we could plug the actual leak by tossin’ that hooker beatin’ ShamWow spokesguy into the leaky pipe. I’m a fucking genius.
Wooly Bully….Wooly Bully. Ha. Sam ShamWow and the Pharaohs. Wooly Bully.
Son of a Bitch, I just had a moustache whisker pulled out my face when I took a sip from my beer can.
What a wicked pisser. The other day I burned my damn finger. I went to take my smoke from my mouth and it stuck to my lip and my fingers slid down the cigarette to the burning head. Ouch. Ha…burning head.
Reminds me of the time I contracted gonorrhea. Just kidding. Never had gonorrhea. That I know of. Wooly Bully. Speaking of cigarettes, I need a smoke.
Mmmmmmm, so good and good for me. Chock full of that much needed tar that my body yearns for. Ha. I love the Ally Bank commercials.
Just saw the egg management fee one. Egg Management fee. Hee Hee. My kid loves those ads as well. He’s into baby jokes now.
On the way to school Thursday, Ryno asked me, “What’s the difference between a baby and an onion? I don’t cry when I chop up babies.”
Ha. I was laughing my ass off because he couldn’t stop laughing. I so love my little freak.
Wooly Bully…duh duh Wooly Bully. I may clean my closet out today after I get back from my walk to the Beer Mine this morning.
Of course, I’ve been threatening to clean it out for the last three Fridays. Corky will be pissed if I do. She likes to sleep in there. But I must. I must. I must increase my bust. Mmmmmm, tits.
I hope I get to play with Schmoop’s tits when she gets home tonight. I like her boobies. They’re like muskmelons. Well, muskmelons with nipples. She has a nice ass too.
It’s not big, but when I smack it, it makes the most amazing sound. It has a musical quality about it. It’s like her ass is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir of asses. Hallelujah and A-Fucking-Men!!
Having sex with Schmoop always reminds me of Geometry class. I can be on top of her and next thing I notice is that her legs are stretched out like a perfect 180 degree angle. And then…
Before I know it, she’ll have her uber-smooth legs and ankles all mismangled up behind her ears forming a prototypical rhombus. I’m going to start calling her, Euclid.
Damn straight. At some point tonight, I’m going to stick my postulate into her theorem and prove that hot sex is good for body, soul, AND mind. Eureka!! Oh wait...
Archimedes said that, not Euclid. Eh, what?
Eureka…isn’t that what a dago says when he thinks someone smells bad? Wooly Bully.
Okay kidz…My stream is drying up, so I must be off to…well, to do whatever.
Have a wonderful Friday all, and if you can, get hot and perpenDICKular with someone.