That will change next week as we work our way toward the big 4th of July weekend. And my 4th of July week will kick off with a bang Saturday night.
Why is that, you ask? Well, let me tellz yuz.
Saturday evening, Bagwine buddy Dana will be pulling into Bagwine, Ohio…at the Beer Mine no less.
(And hopefully, she'll be right side up when she gets here, but I digress...)
That’s right sports fans, The Unsinkable Dana Brown will be in town from Saturday evening ‘til Monday morning.
I know. Dana’s last name isn’t Brown, but it reads better than saying Dana Jones-Smith-Carter-Woodward-Etc-Etc-Ad Infinitum. Hee Hee.
The lovely Dana will be staying with Schmoop, Corky, and myself. When you include Corky, I’ll be living with three chicks for the weekend.
It’s like a sitcom and the working title is, “Three Pussies and an Asshole.” or if you prefer, “Four Tits and a Dickhead.”
I can read the preview now...Hilarity ensues when a chick from the Chicagoland area plants herself in Bagwine, Ohio for a day and half.
Join the antics of Dana, Schmoop, and Matt-Man as bodily fluids are exchanged, Corky gets shaved, and a grease fire breaks out due to a Loosemeat Sandwich accident. Saturday on NBC.
I can’t wait to meet her after all this time.
We’re all very excited about her visit. Well, all of us but Corky. Corky doesn’t like change of any kind. Other than thunderstorms, nothing freaks her out more. But, she’ll survive.
Dana will also have the honor of sleeping on Kelly.
I hope she appreciates the fact that when she is sleeping on Kelly she is also sleeping on ten years worth of my nocturnal emissions. That’s kinda special.
So here’s to a safe trip for Dana, and to the many incriminating pictures I will be taking over the weekend.
Pizza Bill who you have all come to know and love, makes great pizza but…
He makes great meatballs too…
That’s a picture of me, licking Bill’s balls. I love his balls. They are fucking good. I had to let you know just how good Bill’s balls taste.
Schmoop loves Bill’s balls too. In fact she told me yesterday that she could eat Bill’s balls everyday. His balls are really special…and meaty.
So, here’s to Bill’s big, meaty balls. Now, if only he could do something about his Ass Chap.
Schmoop has been going through something difficult, and today it all comes to a head and an end.
If you think about it, send out a prayer or some good vibes today on her behalf. I know she would appreciate it.
There you have it. I hope your weekend goes as dangerously as mine apparently will. Live it up, Bitches.