It’s Friday again, so it’s time for another installment of Matt-Man’s Private Conversations ™. This week they are all Beer Mine related…
Wednesday morning talking to Schmoop as she got ready for work:
Schmoop: Did you get rained on during your walk to work yesterday afternoon?
Me: Yes I did.
Schmoop: Eh, what a fucking shame.
Wednesday evening talking to Schmoop after she got home from work:
Me: Mikey just called. I’m going to be filling in at work for Pizza Bill through next Thursday.
Schmoop: How come?
Me: He is going to Florida for a few days.
Schmoop: Bill? The man who hates the heat and gets ass chap, is going to Florida?
Me: I guess so.
Schmoop: Ass Chap Boy in Florida…hmmmm…That doesn't make a lot of fucking sense.
(You can see that one of Schmoop’s fave words is “Fuck” or variations thereof.)
Drive-By Mikey and I at our meeting Wednesday upon seeing that one of dudes in the meeting looked exactly like Sammy Davis, Jr.:
Mikey: Hee Hee…Look Matt.
Me: Holy Shit, it’s Sammy Davis, Jr.!!
Mikey: Hee, I know…Who can take the sunrise. Sprinkle it in dew?
Me: Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two…
Me and Mikey: The Candyman…The Candyman can. Hee Hee Hee.
Same meeting upon seeing a gorgeous, 6’2 blonde chick sporting 3” heels, a big sweet ass, and ginormous tits:
Mikey: Holy shit. Look at that woman.
Me: Oh my. She’s hot.
Mikey: Everything on that chick is huge.
Me: Indeed…Oh yeah.
Mikey: I know she doesn’t have trouble dropping babies, ’cause I bet her vagina is the size of a softball.
Mikey: Of course they’d have to lay her across two birthing tables.
Me: Ha. Shut up.
Monday night talkin’ to the old regular customer who looks like Boris Karloff, and buys houses and rents them out for a living:
Boris: Gimme one of those high priced Diet Mountain Dews.
Me: Sure thing.
Boris: See that house across the street that’s for sale?
Me: Sure do.
Boris: I’m gonna buy it so I can stand in the front yard and throw rocks at you.
Me: Ha. Of course you are.
Boris: See ya later.
Other than Sunday, I am working everyday through next Thursday, so I’ll catch ya all when I can.
Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend.