Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Bastard Has Left The Building !!

“The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.”

---Alexander Jablokov

A truer quote I have never read, but the road to truth is not only lined with annoying bastards, it’s lined with cynical bastards…cynical bastards who are really funny, subtly sarcastic, and intelligent.

And, that road to truth within the confines of the blogosphere has lost one of its most beautifully cynical bastards to ever grace its lanes.

That’s right, my friend and internet radio partner in crime Jayman, is all but discontinuing his blog site after slightly more than five years of using it to display his sublime wit and personal observations on life and society.

Many of you who stop by here are also loyal readers of Jayman’s blog, which was formerly known as, Cynical Bastard and more recently as, Every Day Jay.

Many of you have also been devoted fans of Jay himself. You dig him because you see him as a funny, self-deprecating, sweet, and uber-affable human being.

Let me tell you something…

That acerbic motherfucker known as “good ol’ Jay” has been fooling the Hell out of you for five plus years.

He has for the longest time called himself, Cynical Bastard. Ha!! Rotten Bastard would be far more accurate.

And, recently he tried to conceal his dark soul and thoughts by calling himself, Every Day Jay.

Oh he’s an “every day kinda guy” alright…If the “every day kinda guy” standard is set by the likes of Charles Manson and Ted Bundy!!

Jayman and I talk on the phone for at least ninety minutes every Tuesday in order to go over what we will be discussing on the next installment of our I’m with Stupid Blog Talk Radio Show (Every Saturday at 12 PM EDT!!).

Let me tell you…

After ninety minutes on the phone with him, I have to throw up, hop into a scalding hot shower, and scrub myself down with steel wool as if I’m Meryl Streep’s character in Silkwood.

Even after that, I still feel dirty. He’s a freakin’ sociopath.

Now dig it…

I have been trying to write a wacky series of blog posts on how I am seceding from the United States.

Last week, my brother John, suddenly and selfishly passed away which interrupted the flow of my posts, and this week after two days of secession humor?

Jayman picked Tuesday night to announce his retirement, therefore forcing me to write this piece and knock me off my comedic flow and story continuity.

Fucker…I'm sure he planned that, and is laughing his ass off over it.

In my eyes however, he does have one redeeming quality. All of these dark and sadistic traits about Jay that I have described?

I dig them. I embrace them. I have them myself. So how can I dislike the guy? I can’t!!

So…Here’s to the Jayman and five plus years of blog humor.

You can still catch Jay on Twitter…on Tumblr…on Facebook…and of course, every Saturday at Noon EDT on I’m With Stupid.

Make sure you stop by Jay’s Blog today and tell the rotten bastard:

“Go to Hell and Good Riddance, Funny Man!!”

Cheers!!

18 comments:

Jay said...

*wipes tear* That was just so sweet. I mean, look how you're trying so desperately to convince people that I'm anything other than a pure and innocent snowflake. Well done my friend!! ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Listen Teflon Man, one of these days they will believe me and as for tears?

I cried a little as well when I wrote it, 'cause everytime I think of you, for some reason I think of onions as well. Odd.

Cheers my Friend!!

Jay said...

Onions? That IS weird.

Ya Freak!

Of course, I mean that in the most loving way.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Of course you did. Cheers Jay!!

sybil law said...

Really?

Matt-Man said...

Sybil: Ha. Yeah, really. Cheers Hot Lips!!

Mike said...

Jay WHO?

Joker_SATX said...

I still can't believe it. I have asked for an additional 30 minutes of electroshock therapy to get over the pain.

Beth said...

Oh I left him a message alright!!! Bastard.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: You know...that Jay guy who has an abnormal affection for Vienna Suasages and Asian chicks. THAT Jay. Cheers Mike!!

Joke: Wild Irish Rose is wayyy more effective. Cheers Joker!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Ha. I just read it. don't sell yourself short...You are a major twit, and twat for that matter. Cheers and Zoooooves!!

MysteryChick said...

Say it ain't so! think I need a tissue...

Matt-Man said...

Chick: It be true and coincidentally, I need a tissue everytime I see you comment. Hey-Ooooo. Cheers Chick!!

dice said...

Speaking of bastards...
I am still laughing at what Dr. Cox said on Scrubs last night,
"People are just bastard covered bastards with bastard filling."
Ha!

Cynical or otherwise, I will miss him. You, Jay.

Good write-up, Matt. Do you do eugooglies?

Ena said...

aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh!

Matt-Man said...

Dice: Ha Very Good. I have often thoughgt I would make a great eulogizer...um...eulogist..er...funeral talker? Cheers Di!!

Ena: WTF? What does that mean? Whatever it meant, type it again, it was HOT!! Cheers Rat!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

too many people leaving here...So, you need another blog to read? Y'all can come back to the Couch! LOLOL

Matt-Man said...

Vinny: Yeah, I swing by come Friday...Thursday is Tax Day in the digs. Cheers Vin!!