Now Dig It: Virtual Cartoons

Hi All. David Here...Now Dig It…

Do you remember some 50 years ago? Okay…some 40 years ago, waking up to cartoons?

Okay, most of you young folk probably don’t, ‘cause you weren’t here yet…Anyway…

Two things…During the week, starting at 7 A.M. was Captain Kangaroo…you know, when he was still alive.

The Captain had his sidekick, Mr. Green Jeans, who smoked a bud or two and/or molested children. Of course, Ol' Cap'n also had Grandfather Clock.

Captain would ask Grandfather Clock, “What time is it Grandfather?”

The reply from the tired timepiece would be, “Look at your own damn watch, you fool.” Or something like that.

And of course there was Bunny Rabbit and Mr. Moose…they’re still alive ya know.

I mean, they're still alive if you don’t mind sticking your hand up their ass to get a charge out of them.

Of course, on Saturday mornings…

My brothers and I, would push my passed out dad off of the couch so we could watch the likes of Mighty Mouse, Heckle and Jeckle, Top Cat, and of course…Bugs!!

Sometimes, my oldest brother Rick would show up and make donuts out of Bisquick. Man…They were great.

Which is more than I can say about my brother Rick, the little bastard.

There was one cartoon that maybe you don’t remember and was called, Supercar. God, I loved it.

And, there was always the classic Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Back then, cartoons were cartoons, and we loved them.

If you were to tell kids today, “Get the fuck out of my hair and go watch cartoons.”, they would either tell you to go pound sand in your ass or they'd watch some unfunny, overproduced, piece of computer animated shit.

Ya know…Kids today, rely on a lot of fancy shit. For their amusement, they rely on a ton of hi-tech wizardry.

Do you remember Toto from the Wizard of Oz? Well, Toto is still alive.

He never went down that road with Dorothy. He was afraid of those hi-tech, fucking shoes. Wuff…Wuff…

And the best thing of all about Toto…He didn’t believe in no fucking Wizards.

Dig It,
Dave

A Meatless Mind Doesn't Function Well

See? See what happens?

I take a day off from blogging yesterday (thanks to Schmoop for filling in, by the way) and it ruins me. I have nothing.

I got out of my rhythm. I lost my mojo. I have become in a mere day, a tabula rasa.

I guess I could talk about taking Ryno to breakfast today. But seriously, since meat will not be involved in my meal, why bother?


What the hell is breakfast without bacon, or hash, or sausage, anyway? Boring…Meaningless…Hell on Earth. Bleah.

Although, I am certain that Ryno will enjoy his bacon and/or sausage more than usual. And…He’ll make sure to let me know just that.

The little shit will be certain to give me a bite by bite commentary while doing his best Dick Vitale voice.

Oy...

I just thought of something. I really miss Saturday morning cartoons. I miss eating heavily buttered toast, drinking chocolate milk, and watching my hero…

Who’s my hero, you ask? Bugs Bunny.

He is a riot, and uber-cool. He’s a man’s man and a woman’s man…Or in this case, a man’s Sylvilagus floridanus and a woman’s Sylvilagus floridanus.

But alas, what can I say about Bugs that hasn’t already been said? I guess nothing. I do have a friend who is going on a cruise tomorrow.

So in the words of Bugs, I will say to her…Bon Voy-Ah-Gee. Scintillating post, no? Yeah, I know.

Maybe the lack of meat is catching up with me. It’s been 18 days. Maybe I need to pull a Number Nine on Schmoop. It’s been 2 days.

My mind is cluttered. I need to clear it. You know what really blows?

Pizza Bill made a huge ass pepperoni pizza for a guy who was supposed to come through the Drive-Thru and pick it up Friday night.

Well, the guy never showed. So, I called Bill and he told me to take it home and cook it because it wouldn’t be any good by Saturday. (They’re made fresh.)

I couldn’t, you know why?…Because I have given up fricking meat like the moron that I am!! I bet that damn, free, meaty pie would have cleared my mind.

That’s okay…When I go to breakfast with Ryno today, I’ll feast on eggs and hard toast. Whoop-Duh-Fuckin’-Diddy.

Jeebus better appreciate my goddamn meatlessness, ‘cause I think the brutal, non-beef reality is starting to set in.

And you know what? I don’t like it one bit.

Cheers!!