Today marks the last in a series of Birthdays that have taken place this week.
It’s been a Bagwine Birthday-O-Rama, hasn’t it? Holy Baby Jeebus!!
Today marks the ex’s B-day.
I will be going out quite early this morning to fetch a card, some donuts, and a present for Ryno to give to his mom today.
Why do I do that for the ex? Because it’s the right thing to do, it makes Ryno happy, and it’s good for the little man to witness.
On top of that, I am just a helluva nice guy, and that’s how I roll.
And well…She does the same thing on my birthday. It’s not like we hate each other any longer…most of the time, anyway.
Sometime today, we will find out who Barack Obama’s running mate is. Are you excited? Of course you are.
Talk about exciting…I was invited to attend the Democratic National Convention and just “hang out.” I declined, for two reasons.
Number one, I am running for President myself. Number two, and more importantly, I will be hanging out at the Republican National Convention in September.
The reason is obvious…Conservative women are in more of a dire need to have some hot Matt-Man.
They need to loosen up and lose their suburban angst, cast off the yoke of repressed sexual desires, and involve themselves in liberal doses of my nakedness.
It will be kinda fun giving the high hard one to such notable Conservatives such as Laura Ingraham and Monica Crowley. Purrrrrrrr.
And what the hell, because I am so giving and selfless, I’ll even get it on with Anthrax Coulter.
Don’t worry guys, I’ll use a strap-on and spread shellac on my tongue when doing her.
I refuse to allow my Matt-Meat or my ankyloglossia to come in actual contact with Coulter’s toxic, vaginal walls of hate and loneliness.
I may even win over a few converts to my candidacy with my dork and my tongue. Move over, “Rock the Vote”, I‘m going to, “Lick the Vote.” Matt-Man: Muff Divin’ for ‘Merica!!
Oh and by the way...Kat and Dana? Since both of you are Republican leaning women, I would be happy to include both of you in my initiative. Please?
Well, that’s all I got…that’s all there is…there isn’t anymore.
I may pop in again today to chime in on Obama’s VP pick, but that is contingent on me being sober enough to type.
Have a great Saturday, all.
Cheers!!
P.S. Here's to Obama's VP candidate pick, Sen. Joe Biden. The smartest, most brutally honest, and down to Earth SOB on Capitol Hill. Joe, you rock!!
