We have a fantastic, free Summer Arts Festival…A venue in the Clark State Center for the Performing Arts that draws top notch acts…
A thriving crack and methamphetamine industry.
But, what really makes this town of 60,000 or so come alive, is the four or five times every winter when anywhere from 2-6 inches of snow is predicted.
When the weather gurus announce an impending snowfall, the serene, peace loving, and in many cases, strung out denizens of Bagwine get all jacked up and devolve into:
Grocery Store Wildebeests of the White Death
Tuesday evening into Wednesday Morning our fair hamlet may be under the grips of 2-3 inches of snow. This my friends, in Bagwine terms is, The Apocalypse.
Late Monday through the day Tuesday, grocery stores throughout the city will be packed with panicked people in search of enough food to sustain them through the impending frozen maelstrom.
Every aisle will be filled with an unwashed crush of people trampling underfoot with the sound and fury of the Wildebeest herds thundering across the Ndutu Plains.
And smelling like, well…mothballs and taint sweat.
Furiously, limbs will be grabbing for staples such as bread, milk, and Krispy Kremes.
Shouts of “Get out of my way lady.” and “Screw the Salmonella, I need 3 sacks of Nutter Butters and a gallon of Peanut Butter Passion Ice Cream to go along with my Diet Pepsi!!”
Oh my, the stampede of gastronomic greed and fear is not for the feint of heart.
During an impending bout of White Death, even a younger person can be injured by an elderly lady when standing in between her and her can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. (3 for $4.00 now thru Wednesday at your local Kroger store!!)
If the forecast holds, and the projected doom draws nigh, I will videotape the migration of the White Death Wildebeests for you.
I will risk my life so that some of you may in the future, live...
And now, a belated Happy Birthday shout out to longtime Bagwine friend Katherine. The uber lovely Kat turned 50 on Saturday.
If you get a minute, please click HERE and go wish her a Happy Birthday. She’s a sweetheart…most of the time.
Lastly, Bagwine Ruminations is currently linked on the website of the 50,000 Watt talk radio giant 700 WLW, which broadcasts from Cincinnati.
Funny man Scott Sloan who typically does the 9 P.M.-12 A.M. show on WLW, has linked Bagwine Ruminations in the, Fresh, Hot Links section of his web page.
If you don’t believe me, or want to see images of one of the most disturbed men doing talk radio today, click HERE.
Bring on the White Death, and enjoy your Monday, all.
Cheers!!
But, what really makes this town of 60,000 or so come alive, is the four or five times every winter when anywhere from 2-6 inches of snow is predicted.When the weather gurus announce an impending snowfall, the serene, peace loving, and in many cases, strung out denizens of Bagwine get all jacked up and devolve into:
Grocery Store Wildebeests of the White Death
Tuesday evening into Wednesday Morning our fair hamlet may be under the grips of 2-3 inches of snow. This my friends, in Bagwine terms is, The Apocalypse.
Late Monday through the day Tuesday, grocery stores throughout the city will be packed with panicked people in search of enough food to sustain them through the impending frozen maelstrom.
Every aisle will be filled with an unwashed crush of people trampling underfoot with the sound and fury of the Wildebeest herds thundering across the Ndutu Plains.And smelling like, well…mothballs and taint sweat.
Furiously, limbs will be grabbing for staples such as bread, milk, and Krispy Kremes.
Shouts of “Get out of my way lady.” and “Screw the Salmonella, I need 3 sacks of Nutter Butters and a gallon of Peanut Butter Passion Ice Cream to go along with my Diet Pepsi!!”
Oh my, the stampede of gastronomic greed and fear is not for the feint of heart.
During an impending bout of White Death, even a younger person can be injured by an elderly lady when standing in between her and her can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. (3 for $4.00 now thru Wednesday at your local Kroger store!!)
If the forecast holds, and the projected doom draws nigh, I will videotape the migration of the White Death Wildebeests for you.
I will risk my life so that some of you may in the future, live...And now, a belated Happy Birthday shout out to longtime Bagwine friend Katherine. The uber lovely Kat turned 50 on Saturday.
If you get a minute, please click HERE and go wish her a Happy Birthday. She’s a sweetheart…most of the time.
Lastly, Bagwine Ruminations is currently linked on the website of the 50,000 Watt talk radio giant 700 WLW, which broadcasts from Cincinnati.
Funny man Scott Sloan who typically does the 9 P.M.-12 A.M. show on WLW, has linked Bagwine Ruminations in the, Fresh, Hot Links section of his web page.
If you don’t believe me, or want to see images of one of the most disturbed men doing talk radio today, click HERE.
Bring on the White Death, and enjoy your Monday, all.
Cheers!!
