Obama Addressing School Children: How Dare That Communist Bastard Do That!?

I have had it. No, really, I have HAD it.

President Obama has a video feed set for Tuesday September 8th that will have him asking for school kids to do their best and work hard during this school year.

How partisan can a group of people…right wing talk show hosts, pundits, and yes, many parents be? Jeebus, Mary, and Joseph!!

Fuck Em….

I have nothing other than that to say…Indeed, I can only say, Fuck Em.

Okay…that’s not true, I can say more than that.

Has a large portion of Americans simply lost their goddamn minds? Is a large portion of Americans saying:

“Screw that Kenyan born motherfucker; how dare him ask my kid to do well in school.”

From Glenn “Oligarhy” Beck, to Laura “Keep Your Kid Home From School” Ingraham, to Michelle “My Eyes Are Not Only Slanted, They Are Three Feet Apart” Malkin, and a host of other low IQ fanatics have been bashing Obama over this.

People like these morons and others like Billy Cunningham of 700 WLW, and Rep. Greer (R-FL) are saying that Obama is attempting to indoctrinate our youth….

Some have said, that much like Mao, Kim Jong Il, and Stalin, the O-Man is trying to lure our children to Socialism..

Gimme a fucking break.

Yes, our representatives of late do nothing but watch their own backs, however…

The people who elect said representatives have devolved into a series of cable TV and sound byte impulses.

They think not for themselves, and in many cases, they think not at all. And many, eat this "indoctrination by Obama conspiracy" shit up.

This anti-addressing of American students is the last straw for me.

I think I am fairly reasonable…I think in some aspects of life, I am quite smart.

However, I have over the years, at times, thought maybe I was a bit crazy. With the stupid right wing smack down that is going on over this crap, I have finally realized that I am not crazy.

Although…

I wish I was crazy like these dumb asses, because it would make life so much easer.

Cheers!!

And...I just thought of this...Many of those protesting Obama, would have no problem with public prayer and "Christian" leaders giving a video message and "indoctrinating" kids in public schools.

Snow on the Serengeti of the Midwest

There are many cultural aspects, events and activities around here that make living in Bagwine, Ohio enjoyable.

We have a fantastic, free Summer Arts Festival…A venue in the Clark State Center for the Performing Arts that draws top notch acts…

A thriving crack and methamphetamine industry.

But, what really makes this town of 60,000 or so come alive, is the four or five times every winter when anywhere from 2-6 inches of snow is predicted.

When the weather gurus announce an impending snowfall, the serene, peace loving, and in many cases, strung out denizens of Bagwine get all jacked up and devolve into:

Grocery Store Wildebeests of the White Death

Tuesday evening into Wednesday Morning our fair hamlet may be under the grips of 2-3 inches of snow. This my friends, in Bagwine terms is, The Apocalypse.

Late Monday through the day Tuesday, grocery stores throughout the city will be packed with panicked people in search of enough food to sustain them through the impending frozen maelstrom.

Every aisle will be filled with an unwashed crush of people trampling underfoot with the sound and fury of the Wildebeest herds thundering across the Ndutu Plains.

And smelling like, well…mothballs and taint sweat.

Furiously, limbs will be grabbing for staples such as bread, milk, and Krispy Kremes.

Shouts of “Get out of my way lady.” and “Screw the Salmonella, I need 3 sacks of Nutter Butters and a gallon of Peanut Butter Passion Ice Cream to go along with my Diet Pepsi!!”

Oh my, the stampede of gastronomic greed and fear is not for the feint of heart.

During an impending bout of White Death, even a younger person can be injured by an elderly lady when standing in between her and her can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. (3 for $4.00 now thru Wednesday at your local Kroger store!!)

If the forecast holds, and the projected doom draws nigh, I will videotape the migration of the White Death Wildebeests for you.

I will risk my life so that some of you may in the future, live...

And now, a belated Happy Birthday shout out to longtime Bagwine friend Katherine. The uber lovely Kat turned 50 on Saturday.

If you get a minute, please click HERE and go wish her a Happy Birthday. She’s a sweetheart…most of the time.

Lastly, Bagwine Ruminations is currently linked on the website of the 50,000 Watt talk radio giant 700 WLW, which broadcasts from Cincinnati.

Funny man Scott Sloan who typically does the 9 P.M.-12 A.M. show on WLW, has linked Bagwine Ruminations in the, Fresh, Hot Links section of his web page.

If you don’t believe me, or want to see images of one of the most disturbed men doing talk radio today, click HERE.

Bring on the White Death, and enjoy your Monday, all.

Cheers!!

The Right Wing Says: Damn, Niggah is Thickah Than Party

Ha. Colin Powell endorsed Sen. Barack Obama for President.

I find this so damn funny, not because I think endorsements make a huge difference, but this one will have an impact because of the right wing reaction to it.

I am not talking about “normal thinking” Republicans (yes, there are some out there), but I am talking about the right wing fringe.

And man…these snakes are showing their colors, and their poison…quickly, loudly, and vehemently.

I got home late last night , and I was so excited to listen to Vietnam dodger and talk show radio host, Bill Cunningham on 700 WLW-AM.

Willie, as he’s known, has a large audience…And this man, who calls himself, The Voice of the Common Man is livid over the endorsement.

Willie, was saying that Powell owes everything to the Republican Party.

His career…his prominence, and it’s a damn shame that the General has backed a terrorist, and double-crossed the GOP.

Well ya know what, Willie? Sen. Joe Lieberman rose to power with the strength of the money and the machine of the Democrat party.

Yet, Jerusalem Joe has given the Dem party the big ol’ F-U, just so that he can insure that his career on the backs of the taxpayer continues, and...

That his first patriotic love, the State of Israel, still stands gazing down upon the dirt roads, poverty, and hovels of the Palestinian State.

Joe, the jig is up…We all know that you would rather have the capital of the U.S. reside in Jerusalem, and not Washington, D.C.

How’s that for hyperbole? Well it’s on Cunningham’s level. Only mine isn’t filled with hate and I don’t have the mindless audience that he has that would agree with me.

The first caller (an ex-military guy) that I heard on Cunningham's show last night said that he couldn’t believe that, “Race trumps substance.” He was speaking of Powell’s endorsement of Obama.

After the caller and Willie had phone sex over the issue, Willie once again, went on an anti-Powell rant.

And it was funny…Willie who is also a lawyer of some success, implied that Powell was endorsing Obama because of race.

Cunningham said that it was a travesty because Powell should have endorsed McCain because they were both soldiers.

Huh? Wouldn’t that be the same endorsement by association that Cunningham is eschewing? Hey Cunningham, for a lawyer you ain’t so cunning.

On a similar note, FOX News began spinning this 1,001 Ways to Sunday since the news broke, and will be doing so today…

Powell wants a position…Powell wanted to be McCain’s VP…Powell is sticking with his “homey”.

You guys all suck. Powell is still a Republican. He’s still the man he was yesterday. He’s still a thoughtful man.

The only difference is that he doesn’t walk in lockstep with the GOP.

Powell said that he likes Obama’s calm, cool, thoughtfulness. He doesn’t like the Palin choice. He doesn’t like the negative ads from McCain.

I understand that the right wing of the GOP doesn’t like people deviating from the lockstep, because if one does; they may all fall down.

And the irony is?

You have an alleged bi-partisan Maverick as a candidate, and yet you guys obviously hate self-thinkers…

Ha, and I thought the Democrats were the ones who ate their own.

Cheers!!

Update: I want to apologize to Fox and Friends...This morning the self-proclaimed, "Official Morning Show of the 2008 Election" has decided not to talk much about the Powell endorsement.

They are ignoring it in order to talk about Barack's murky fundraising and the new Lynne Spears book. Oh they mention the endorsement a bit and ask, "Did race play a part in the endorsement? What does Rush Limbaugh think?" Cue, drug boy!!

General Discontent for the Major Pandering Towards Our Privates

Even more so than during the Presidential Election of 2004, I see a very disturbing trend coming to full blossom in the 2008 election.

Damn the policy issue differences between McCain and Obama…

Screw the differences in the direction that each wants to take…

To Hell with the positives and negatives of each candidate…

What is becoming a major issue in various ways is, “Who do the soldiers, sailors, and Marines want elected as their Commander-in-Chief?”

I have a four word response to that question: “I Don’t Fucking Care!!”

Allow me a moment of exfoliation explanation…I don’t care in the sense that I don’t consider the vote of a soldier under the gun in Iraq (or anywhere else) to be worth more than mine…

Much like I don’t consider my vote worth more than his or hers.

The McCain camp has made a big to do about Obama “dissin” the injured military personnel during his stop in Germany.

Yeah, it was a bad political decision by Obama.

Of course, McCain conveniently omits that Obama spent plenty of time with soldiers while in Afghanistan and during the Middle East leg of his trip.

The political imagery faux pas is not my point…

My point is that people in the military have become electoral tools of visceral reaction as far as the political process.

For God sakes, Bill Cunningham, a talk show host on 700 WLW has stated that soldiers are almost in unanimous support of McCain, as if that should decide my vote.

He has, in the past, even said that the vote of military personnel should count as two votes.

Sure he may be kidding (or more likely trying to ease his guilt and cowardice over being deferred from service during Vietnam due to a “bad knee”) but by God, his slope headed listeners eat it up.

Under Cunningham’s system, if Julius Caesar were running for President of the United States, he’d be a shoo-in!!

I have already seen spokesmen and ads from Veterans’ 527 groups on both sides extolling the reasons as to why their candidate is the best choice.

As for me, save your breath boys…I don’t care about what you say in your 30 second sound bites, here’s what I care about and as a member of the military so should you…

Stop pontificating on who missed out on a nice photo-op with injured, bed ridden men and women who stepped up to serve their country proudly and bravely.

And don’t tell me how much more one candidate respects your service more than the other.

Instead, focus on who may repair the neglect of those of you who serve as far as pay, health and death benefits, mental and physical rehab, and a decent quality of life.

You guys deserve more than a photo-op…

You deserve to be able to take care of your families and yourselves comfortably.

And, if you return home with injuries, you deserve to be healed inside and out.

Much like any other group, I myself would, if I could, do anything to insure that…

Well, anything short of having my vote be worth less than yours.

Cheers!!

Bill Cunningham: Feelin' The Pain of John McCain

Holy Frijoles!!!!

My post yesterday about Bill Cunningham, the acerbic, diminutive radio talk show muckraker, was prophetic and right on the mark.

Bill Cunningham “opened up” for Senator John McCain at a rally in Cincinnati, Ohio yesterday afternoon.

Cunningham promptly trashed, the “main stream” media, and Barack Obama in a less than gracious way.

Click Here For Details

Not only is Bill Cunningham catching flak from all of the cable news shows, McCain disassociated himself from the self proclaimed, “Voice of the Common Man”.

McCain apologized for Willie’s remarks and then threw the mental midget underneath the Straight Talk Express and backed over him a few times.

I find the grief that Cunningham is receiving to be refreshingly funny.

I am sure that Cunningham is laughing as well. Willie knows that he, and his afternoon talk show on 700 WLW-AM just got millions of dollars worth of free advertising.

It’s a shame that Cunningham is being preempted by a Reds spring training baseball game today.

I will have to wait until tomorrow at 12:20 P.M. to listen to “The Great American” pick up the pieces. Bummer.

I have a bit of a truncated day today. My 13 year old clone is on a two hour delay due to snow, so I have to go fetch him this morning and drop him off at school.

I have to leave this afternoon at some point as well, and do a couple of other things. But there is good news for you all…Nay, nay, make that GREAT news…

After losing two more pounds, which takes me to 192, I am feeling sassy and oh so sexy, so guess what I am going to do.

I am going to take some very provocative pictures of myself today and post them tomorrow.

If you are good to me today, in the form of nice comments (Ed. Note: Joining the pander bandwagon, are we Matt?), I may even make a steamy Matt-Man video.

What the hell, even though I am 43, it’s not too late to become an adult film star. I just have to think of a good porn name to use. Suggestions are appreciated.

There you have it folks, short and sweet today. Enjoy your Hump Day, and I’ll be in and out today...which makes perfect sense, since I am about to embark on a career in porn.

Cheers!!

Barack Obama: His Name Just Don't Sound 'Merican

Tonight, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton debate in Cleveland, and one week from today I will be voting in the Ohio Democrat Primary.

Initially, I fully supported Senator Joe Biden for President, but he dropped out long ago. So, it now comes down to Obama and Clinton.

While not having any kind of fire in my belly while doing so, I will be voting for H-Rod.

I’m not a big fan of Obama, but I will say this, he has been subjected to some of the most idiotic and ill-informed attacks ever leveled against a Presidential candidate.

The attacks both amuse and frighten me.

A few examples of this, I now offer…

If you live within a few hundred miles of Cincinnati, Ohio, between 12:20 and 3:00 in the afternoon, you can listen to Bill Cunningham on 700 WLW AM radio during the week.

Cunningham is a radio talk show host full of right wing schtick, and political red meat for rednecks.

Willie, as he is known around here, gets very high ratings, but the collective IQ of his listeners who call into his show, run in indirect proportion to those ratings.

Sadly, most of these callers live within an hour of lovely Bagwine, Ohio.

The comments made by these callers confirm that eating grain fed beef while drinking Wild Irish Rose does produce a detrimental effect on one’s mind.

Willie’s show is filled with talk about Barack Hussein Obama being a Muslim.

I really don’t give a crap if the guy is a practicing Aardvark worshipper, but for the record, Obama is not a Muslim; he’s Christian.

Willie and his flock say that Obama was raised a Muslim and attended one of them there madrasas.

Well, Obama, did attend school, and since "madrasa" is the Arabic word for school, any type of school, they may be on to something.

The truth is that Obama attended elementary school while living in Indonesia. He went to a school for awhile that was full of Muslims.

Which makes sense since Indonesia has a Muslim population that is even larger than Rachel Ray’s ass.

Hell, the impressive thing to me is that Obama also attended, and survived a Catholic school while there. Can you picture an Indonesian Nun?

Screw getting hit with a ruler, they probably use steel reinforced rattan canes to beat the kids.

I also hear that this picture shows that Obama refused to place his hand on his heart while reciting the pledge of allegiance.

Not true.

In the picture shown, it is the Star Spangled Banner being played at the time it was taken.

I don’t put my hand on my heart when our National Anthem is played.

If at a ball game, I merely take off my hat, sing off key, and mangle the lyrics as mustard from my hot dog drips from my chin.

That may be true too Matt-Man, but Obama didn’t put his hand on the Bible when he was sworn in. Yes, he did.

But seriously, I really don’t care if had he placed his hand on the Bible, the Quran, or a copy of SCREW magazine. None of these reads can counteract the stupid of any lawmaker.

I am not voting for Barack Obama, but not because of any of these baseless rumors.

I will not vote for Obama because he is black…and there is no way in hell that I am voting for one of them there niggras.

Kidding of course, but I am sure that there are plenty of morons who call Willie Cunningham’s radio show that think that way.

No, the real reason I will not be voting for Obama is the following…

When he gives a well delivered speech that conjures up visions of majestic, amber, waves of grain, all I see is a man who is long on chaff and short on wheat.

Cheers!!