Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Choosy Female Bloggers Choose Matt-Man and Jay

Earlier this month, the hot, come-hither hippie, Meg, of Prefers Her Fantasy Life, named me as one of her ten Blog crushes.

I believe nine of her ten crushes were males.

I was quite honored, and needless to say, more than a bit aroused…by Meg, not the other eight guys you morons.

However…

In addition to enjoying Meg’s post, I was struck by one of the comments left by a female reader.

She said something to the effect, “I never read blogs by guys.”

It wasn’t in a nasty manner or anything like that, just a matter-of-fact statement.

I told Schmoop about the comment, to which Schmoop replied…

“Yeah, so? Neither do I. I mean other than yours, Jay’s, Dad Gone Mad, and once in awhile Rude Cactus, I only read blogs by women…mainly the Mommy Bloggers.”

As evidenced by the vast amount of sweet, steamy estrogen in the comment section of Bagwine Ruminations, some women do read Matt-Man, but…

After hearing Schmoop’s response...

I looked around and read blogs by women/mommies that draw incredible audiences, and they are comprised of nearly all women.

And I ruminated…

What is with the zealous, feminine loyalty of many women reading blogs by other women and mommies exclusively?

Now, I’m not knocking these bloggers.

Hell, I commend them for building followings larger than that of the echo produced by Lindsay Lohan’s hoo-ha while it’s being talked dirty to by a hot chick.

But man...


How many captions of cute family pictures, tales about green baby shit, and narratives on how some uptight wife had her feelings hurt because hubby said that her green beans were underdone, can one read?

Holy Crap!! Schmoop, and many other women, read this type of repetitive blog barf (from here on out, known as blarf) everyday and rarely venture on to the sweaty, semen stained turf of a male blog.

When I pressed her as to why, she said…

“I find that the majority of you men who blog, can’t spell, and have absolutely nothing to say.”


Unbelievable. Her statement leaves me in a state of confusion. If she is correct and yet, 80-90% of my readers are women what does that say about me? Or someone like Jay?

If we men have nothing to say that interest women, and yet they return time and time again, it says one thing, and one thing only…

Jay and I, are a couple of smokin’ hot pieces of man-meat whom the ladies simply cannot live without.

And yeah, I can live with that.

Cheers!!

38 comments:

People in the Sun said...

Oh, it's on! Not only can I spell, but I promise you and her that my baby's poop can be just as green as any blogging mother's baby out there.

In fact, we're going on a peas and dictionary diet, Bitches.

katherine. said...

now I gotta go calculate the percentage of male bloggers vs female bloggers that I read...

Schmoop said...

PITS: Ha. Very Good. I must get over to your digs and link you. You're funny. I can spell but typically it appears that I can't, because I type faster than I am able. Cheers!!

Kat: Mine is overwhelmingly female but that's because my fantasies have an insatiable appetite. Cheers!!

Jay said...

Well, speaking for myself, I just assume that it's all about my rugged good looks and boyish charm. And the fact that I can be sensitive and thoughtful, while still conveying a certain sense of manliness that women find quite irresistible.

And, ever since Firefox installed spell check things have improved dramatically in that area too. But, I do think my general ability to know when to use "you're" or "your" and when to use "they're," "there" and "their" is kind of a turn on.

As for mommy bloggers. Uh, I'm going to let that go. I don't want to lose any charm points. ;-)

Schmoop said...

Jay: First of all, for some reason your comment pic is now coming up as a red X box.

More importantly, you my good man, may be the only living Renaissance Man in the state of Arkansas. You Rock. Cheers Jay!!

Dana said...

I dispise mommy bloggers (generally, of course)! Seriously, most often it's a bunch of whiny complaining, or ridiculous bragging, with no meaty content.

I read you and Jay for your meat *giggle*

Schmoop said...

Dana: Ha. And I, (and I think I can speak for Jay on this, as well) respect that and enjoy that. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

I read the blogs of several men, and Schmoop is right about the spelling and writing thing sometimes. I must admit that two of the male bloggers that I visit have a difficult time with the constructing a coherent paragraph thing, but I like them so I try to look past that. I read one daddy blogger who is wry and comedic, so he's a keeper, and of course there are the gay bloggers. Do they count as male? *grin*

You and Jay are witty, write well, and (on more than one occasion) have content that goes beyond potty humor and tits. And Vinny, you know, well he's in a class by himself. Why wouldn't I read you? You and Vinny are two blogs I've been reading from the beginning of my blog life (going on two and a half years now), and I found Jay because of you. I don't discriminate because of gender; usually I just choose between writing ability/content versus can't say anything for shit!

Oh, and Jay's right; being able to discriminate amongst your, you're, their, there, and they're is a biggie with me. Not to mention its and it's.

Meg said...

Thanks for the linky love. I feel fortunate that both guys and gals read my blog. Though why guys are interested in my issues of control-top panties remains a mystery to me.

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Ha. I have trouble with its and it's. Not because I don't know the difference, but because I almost exclusively use i-t-s in its truncated active form. Out of habit I always throw the apostrophe in there, no matter the use.

And I have to agree, we are funny and write damn well...and are humble. ; ) Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Fantasy: Look at your picture and read your amusing control top panty comment. THAT is why men read you. Cute and funny is all that it takes.

Of course, I love you for your mind. Let me kiss your mind. Cheers Meg!!

Ken said...

If their there, they're there hoping that it's, it for them.

Schmoop said...

Micky: I shall, forward now, and forever, refer to you you as, Merriam Webster. Cheers Mick!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...that's it! You guys are man candy (from here on known as 'mandy')...and I believe Mic is correct!...

Dianne said...

the comments by people in the sun and micky killed me!!

I found you through Jay - I don't remember how I found Jay - I think his hotness just magnetized my mouse and I needed to scroll all over him

I never really thought of the gender of the bloggers I adore - I can go both ways - hell, at this point in my life action is action

even Mommy blogs - through my photo blog I've met many and their photos can be fun and hell - if I was home all day with a pooping, peeing, farting helpless creature I'd want to write about it too! Happily I got rid of the husband ;)

I love when you wear a tie! makes me want to rip it off and tie you up with it

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: Ha. That is sweet. Maybe Barry Manilow will do a song about us. Cheers P-Man!!

Dianne: Rowwwrrrrrrr. Three words: You...Are...Hot!! And here's why.

First, you are hi-larryous.

Secondly, you want to tie me up.

Tertiarrily, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING hotter than an East Coast babe who has a magnetized mouse.

Bring it on, baby. Cheers Di!!

Knight said...

Mmmm smoked man meat.
I read mostly male blogs. I'm usually in it for the humor and a mom blog doesn't really do it for me. I read a dad blog because the guy has excellent cocktail recipes. If I had kids I would drink a lot too.

Schmoop said...

Knight: The reason I frequent your blog is because it is so refreshing to see a sexy 20-something woman who actually knows what she wants to do and has an astute mind. That's rare in these parts. Cheers Knight!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

THANK YOU SONGBIRD!

I read this post and felt all alone in my own little world and then that vixen from AZ made my day with her comment And Vinny, you know, well he's in a class by himself. Now you can tell me she did not mean that as a compliment but I know she did...yup I do...

I just looked at my blog roll and here is the count:
Male: 16
Female: 35
but not one 'mommy-blogger in the bunch

Oh and Schmoop...ya broke my heart...

Schmoop said...

Bond: Well, I am glad you feel good there, buddy.

As for Schmoop? Don't feel broken hearted. After all, I didn't ask her which blogs, if any, she reads that are written by hermaphrodites. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Well, see ...I wonder if I made that list...

Anonymous said...

You're totally in my top ten blog crushes as well. :-)

And I don't discriminate between male and female bloggers. I just read what I enjoy. If you're interesting and you make me laugh, I'll keep coming back.

Beth said...

It's not that I don't like male bloggers, I guess I just don't know of that many to check out. But I love all you guys! I'm sorry Vin, I love ya, I just left your blog off by accident!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Well Schmoop...I forgive you dear...

Schmoop said...

Giggle: Mmmmmmmm. I can go to work with a woody now. Seamus and I thank you for that. Cheers GP!!

Bond: You forgive her? Oh boy, are you a mess. Cheers!!

Schmoop: Ha. I can see by your comment to Vin that I'm not the only guy you lie to. Cheers Sexy!!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Frankly, you and Jay are the only hunks of smokin' hot man meat that I EVER encounter.

That's why I come around. ;)

Schmoop said...

RLL: Oh my...You just made my day, and probably my night as well. Cheers Sexy!!

Lu' said...

I read what I like and don't give a rats ass if it is written by man or woman. You and Jay as bloggers, complete me; ha ha ha ha ha! No, I like what I see and read from you guys and THAT is why I come back. The fact that you are two nice sweet pieces of mandy, well that is just icing on the cake. Mmmm did someone say cake? Darn it was just me. Not having children I don't seek out the Mommy bloggers because I don't relate much to issues about children. I am more suited to you hard drinking booty chasing horndogs with their finger on the pulse...

Liz Hill said...

I had a good comment then RLL made me snort tea!


Pure 'mommy blogs' --the ones that seem to be no more than a discussion of poop and sick--are an anathema to me. I just don't care.

I do however love some bloggers who do 'mom' posts--they are sweet and fun and give insight into themselves and their kids without the blogger being lost in it to the point of near non-existence.

I need funny--I need witty--I crave snark and smart and naughty (here and there).

I don't rule anyone out---if you can bring it--I'm gonna read it--I don't care who you are.

You my dear have been bringing it from day one;-)

Cinnamon Girl said...

Interesting. Most of the blogs I read faithfully are men's. Seriously. And the women I read don't do a lot of mommy blogger type blogging. Cause my version of hell would be to be locked into a room with scary scrape booking women.

I totally fail at being a girlie girl.

/wanders off while scratching herself.

Schmoop said...

Lu: "I am more suited to you hard drinking booty chasing horndogs with their finger on the pulse..."

Your ability to concisely sum things up is one of the reasons that I love you so. Cheers Lu!!

TB: I agree with you exactly. However, I wish you would accept it once in awhile when I "bring it". Cheers Sexy!!

Schmoop said...

Starr: Ugh. You mentioned a word and activity that makes me shudder. Scrapbooking. WTF? Have you seen the people who scrapbook? Lordy, Lordy. Cheers Starr!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Dude. I live across the street from the areas premier scrap book place. I saw them every time I went to fill up my car or buy a pack of smokes.

They scare me =(

Schmoop said...

Starr: Wow. Man, I thought I would never say this, but knowing what I know now...It sucks to be you. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Starr: Papyrusmaniacs? Cheers!!

Marilyn said...

Maybe it's easier for women to identify with the concerns of other women? Also, it feels like there are a lot more women who blog.

Travis Cody said...

I guess if it's good writing, on a subject that interests me, I don't care whether the blogger is male or female.

Anonymous said...

Hey Matt-Man! I've been busy with the new baby (green shit and all) that I've not had much time for visiting my favorite bloggers. Sorry 'bout that. This post cracked me up and you know being a proud mommy blogger I just had to comment! :)

I'm with Trav, if the content is good and catches my attention, I don't care if they're male, female, or even both! *LOL*