I take a day off from blogging yesterday (thanks to Schmoop for filling in, by the way) and it ruins me. I have nothing.
I got out of my rhythm. I lost my mojo. I have become in a mere day, a tabula rasa.
I guess I could talk about taking Ryno to breakfast today. But seriously, since meat will not be involved in my meal, why bother?
What the hell is breakfast without bacon, or hash, or sausage, anyway? Boring…Meaningless…Hell on Earth. Bleah.
Although, I am certain that Ryno will enjoy his bacon and/or sausage more than usual. And…He’ll make sure to let me know just that.
The little shit will be certain to give me a bite by bite commentary while doing his best Dick Vitale voice.
Oy...
I just thought of something. I really miss Saturday morning cartoons. I miss eating heavily buttered toast, drinking chocolate milk, and watching my hero…
Who’s my hero, you ask? Bugs Bunny.
He is a riot, and uber-cool. He’s a man’s man and a woman’s man…Or in this case, a man’s Sylvilagus floridanus and a woman’s Sylvilagus floridanus.But alas, what can I say about Bugs that hasn’t already been said? I guess nothing. I do have a friend who is going on a cruise tomorrow.
So in the words of Bugs, I will say to her…Bon Voy-Ah-Gee. Scintillating post, no? Yeah, I know.
Maybe the lack of meat is catching up with me. It’s been 18 days. Maybe I need to pull a Number Nine on Schmoop. It’s been 2 days.
My mind is cluttered. I need to clear it. You know what really blows?
Pizza Bill made a huge ass pepperoni pizza for a guy who was supposed to come through the Drive-Thru and pick it up Friday night.
Well, the guy never showed. So, I called Bill and he told me to take it home and cook it because it wouldn’t be any good by Saturday. (They’re made fresh.)
I couldn’t, you know why?…Because I have given up fricking meat like the moron that I am!! I bet that damn, free, meaty pie would have cleared my mind.
That’s okay…When I go to breakfast with Ryno today, I’ll feast on eggs and hard toast. Whoop-Duh-Fuckin’-Diddy.Jeebus better appreciate my goddamn meatlessness, ‘cause I think the brutal, non-beef reality is starting to set in.
And you know what? I don’t like it one bit.
Cheers!!
23 comments:
Oh quit your whining. Giving up meat for 18 days is no big deal. I've given it up for 18 years. Every so often I have a major craving for bacon or sushi but I get over it. Man up for God's sake. So have I bitch slapped you back into reality, yet? You know I only do this because I love.
First off, bacon Bugs owns all. And I am very proud bacon of you for turning down bacon a free pep pizza. You bacon rock that vegetarian bacon for Jeebus bacon fast of yours till the bacon bitter end!
Okay so when I send the Red's shirt that's a NO on the scratch and sniff Bacon stickers I gotcha?
By the end of Lent even a pork chop or some ribs might start looking good to you.
By the end of Lent even Bugs on a spit might start looking good to you.
Michele: And I appreciate your tough love. It's not all that bad, but having to pass on the pizza was a real pisser. Cheers Michele!!
Starr: That's asshole nice of you to asshole say. I will asshole cherish your kind words asshole of encouragement. Cheers!!
Hope: It's probably best. In addition to scratching them, I'd probably eat them. Cheers Hope!!
Jeff: I doubt it. I dunno what it is but those two things really do turn me off. Big day tomorrow, eh? Cheers Jeff!!
Kat: Bite your tongue...or, allow me. I could never direct harm to the King if Cool. Cheers Kat!!
"What's up Meat?" oops-Matt!
...first, get rid of that blue plate...
I can sympathize with missing out on the pizza since that's on the list of things I've given up.
I was going to tell you all about the T-bone I had for dinner last night. But, that would just be cruel. ;-)
FINALLY the madness begins. I was wondering how long it would take you to crack. Now, commence with the Magic Carpet Ride dreams. It'll happen. Just wait.
Micky: That's what all the babes call me. Cheers Mick!!
Phfrankie: That plate looks more appetizing than the eggs. Cheers!!
Jay: We had pizza Thursday night. But it was cheese. Just not the same. I hoped you choked on the T-Bone. Cheers Jay!!
Songbird: We shall see. Maybe Jeebus will visit me in a dream tonight. Cheers!!
LMAO @ Starr!!!
How about some nice praline french toast? Breakfast at 9 am tomorrow sir... but after that you'll have to leave as the Pot Roast aromas may kill you....
Cheesy: See how ya are? You start off with a nice invitation and then stab me in the soul. Cheers Cheese!!
Be veeewy, veeewy quiet...it's Wabbit Season!!!
Giggle: Is Bugs the hippest daddio around or what? Have a lovely Saturday, my dear. Cheers GP!!
HAH!!
Did I mention I was gonna have a BACON burger....with BEER?!?!?
Starr: Well, just enjoy the HELL out of that. I'm imbibing as we speak, so I am joining you half way. I have some supernatural pictures for tomorrow. Ha. Cheers Starr!!
Although bacon is clearly one of the stars of breakfast, one can make do with a hearty helping of eggs and hash browns. Just add panCAKEs and lots of syrup.
See? Problem solved!
Travis: As much as I appreciate your culinary advice, and respect you personally. Fuck That. Cheers, my good man!!
I find it works better for me to give up religion for lent, just a thought!
Mystery: Ha. You just turned Jeebus on his head. Cheers Chick!!
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