Christ is once again living out his last forty days on Earth and I am living a life of sacrifice in his honor.
This year as many of you know, I am giving up cigarettes for Lent. My partner in internet radio crime Jayman, is giving up cussing.
What a bunch of shit.
Come Easter, as always, Christ will resurrect himself and end up on streets paved with gold, and what do I and Jayman get out of it?
Damn right…heartache.
But, because we are superhuman we shall persevere just to prove that we are superior to ourselves. What? Anyhoo…Already I can feel the mucus heaving itself from my lungs in a sea of green that would rival the discharge from Paris Hilton’s vagina.
My lungs rale bilaterally in an incoherent cacophony similar to a Sarah Palin speech, and…
My thoughts are manifesting themselves like the discordant verbal ponderances of a Charlie Sheen ustream episode.
Things…are…not…well, but…
It’s all for The Lord, and at some point I shall lie down in green pastures…and then smoke the shit out of it….Sorry…I’m fine.
Anyhoo…This week on I’m With Stupid, Jayman and I are honoring the Lord and Lent by discussing my non-smoking and Jay’s non-cussing.
It should be, a God Damn Hoot!!
It could actually be a semi-silent show this week as Jayman will be afraid to say anything lest he cuss, and I will be tapping my nicotine starved hand on my computer table.
So, we would really welcome your fucking calls this week in order to break up the muted smoke-free monotony.
If you’d like to join in, you can access our show page by clicking HERE. And as always…
The number is 661.244.9852
If you’ll excuse me, I see an old woman walking by my window and I am going to go beat the hell out of her for no reason.
Happy Ash Fucking Wednesday, and as always…
Cheers!!
21 comments:
I'm going to be so worried about cussing that I might have to smoke to settle myself down.
Jay: See? I know you well enough now, that I KNEW you were going to say something hurtful like that. Cheers Funny Man!!
>>>>Christ is once again living out his last forty days on Earth
I'm not sure he really made good use of his last 40 days in any way that I might have chosen....
BUT wait BUT wait....isn't there a tremendous irony that it is Ash Wednesday and you are not producing any of the proverbial ashes?
Hey, it's 12:15. I bet you feel healthier already!
David: Yu are wrong because you have no idea as how Christ spent his last days...
I will explain it all over the coming weeks..He was a party animal.
And yeah, I was gonna do an ash pic from last smoke but didn't... Cheers David!!
Mike: I feel like Euell Gibbons, Baby!! Cheers Mike!!
What about chewing tobacco?
I'm going to smoke more, drink more, cuss more, and, and, um...lots of other stuff more!!!
Israel: No way. I tried that a couple times over 20 years ago. That crap makes me puke. Cheers IC!!
Schmoop: Ha. I would expect no less from you my looove. Cheers and Zoooves!!
Good for you Matt. Hang in there. :)
Baseball Mom: I shall do my best and thank ya. Cheers B-Ball!!
After you knock the old lady down, you could throw her on the hood of a van and drive for thiry miles on the freeway going 100 miles an hour, like they do out here in California.
P-Man: Not a bad idea, but unfortunately it would probably start a fad in these parts. Cheers P-Man!!
Ah yes, the sea of green simile was a huge turn on. Thanks for that. So just like Jesus came back from the dead so shall the cells in your lungs. Rejuvinate and Resurrect Matty.
Knight: I shall try to do my best. I hope you had a wunnerful trip. Cheers Knight!!
So, were you smoking right up to 11:59:59 last night? Ha! I'm sending all my good thoughts and ju-ju your way. I know this is gonna be difficult (!) But You Can DO IT! (Just Do it!)
Rat: You know damn well I was. Hell I was dreaming about it when I went to bed Rat. Thanks for the ju-ju. Hee. Cheers Lovely One!!
Sybil: I hope you can too. Should be an edgy show as I chew my nails and Jay bites his tongue. Cheers Sybil!!
Joker: Ha. Why thanks Joker and you are correct Jay and I have melded into the Bizarro World. I'll have to pop in and read. Cheers and thanks again Joker!!
I put my cigarette out to read this
Dianne: See? That's why I like you so much...You care. Cheers Sexy!!
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