As promised, I am posting some Muslim humor today. However, the humor isn’t actually mine.Allah’s prophet, Mohammed, stopped by last night, in quite the fortuitous moment, and we chatted.
The Mohammed-Man is embarking upon a tour of the U.S. in order to instill good will among those
His choice of good will tactic?
Stand-Up Comedy…although he kneels on a prayer rug as he does it.
So Ladies and Gents, Bagwine Ruminations welcomes, the Prophet Mohammed!! Take it away my good man.
Thank you very much Matt-Man. Oh my goodness gracious, I am very wonderful to be here…
Folks, I just flew in from Baghdad, and boy is my carpet dirty. Baghdad isn’t too bad of a place. I’ve been worse places…
For Allah’s sake, I spent a week in Mecca one night. Bada bin-Bing!!
Knock-Knock…Who’s there?
Allah…Allah Who?
Allahst the combination to the lock on my weapons cache, and can’t blow anyone up!!
Ha. How many of you are from out of village? I am from out of village.
In fact, I was at airport a few minutes ago when a Muslim guy came up to me and said, “Hey Mohammed, that’s a sexy virgin ya got there.”
I said, “That’s no virgin; that’s my wife!!”
I find myself bathed in the goat’s milk of hilariousness, and if this takes off, I may try a movie career.
My new curvy, American friend Starrlight suggested a couple of good Muslim-Themed cinematic offerings:
I could star with that Jew boy Billy Crystal in a movie called, “Throw Mullah From the Train.”
Or, I could hook up with Stephen King in an Islamic horror movie titled, “Children of the Koran.”
I was thinking maybe I could do a film about the 1981 Israeli sneak attack on the Iraqi nuclear reactor and call it, “Torah, Torah, Torah.” Bada bin-Bing!!
Then, I thought that I could very much capitalize by doing an Islamic pornographic martial arts movie named, “Crouching Virgin, Hidden Falafel.”
Unfortunately, I really don’t have the face for the very large screen…
In fact, I was so ugly when born, that the Doctor slapped my mother…And then they stoned her to death!!
I was so ugly when young, that they had to tie a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.
The dog finally played with me, ate the pork chop, and then they killed puppy for violating Islamic food Law. Bada bin-Bing!!
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Imam walk into a bar. The Priest orders whiskey; the Rabbi orders wine; and the Imam orders their beheading!!
I never understood the Ottoman Empire. No wonder it collapsed; it was based upon a foot stool. Ha!!
Before I go, I want to thank my brother Ahmed for helping to finance my good will tour. Ahmed is very rich man. He is arms dealer…
He sells rocks and bottles to Palestinians…Boo Yah!!
Thank you for your time…Tip your scantily clad infidel waitress, and Praise Jeebus!!!
Ha, just kidding.
Cheers!!
