Okay…So I am finally getting around to the story that I told you about last Wednesday.
First of all, the Holy Baby Jeebus showed up last Hump Day night, and then when he left, I got a phone call.
It was from an old buddy of mine who asked me to go camping with him.
The last time we hooked up for some frivolity, it went something like THIS. But he wanted to get together again.
Here’s how the conversation went…
Matt-Man: Hello?
Dubya: Hey Matt-Man, you crazy Son of a Bitch, it’s GW!!
Matt-Man: Hey Dubya, what’s up?
Dubya: Well, not my approvalcy ratings, that’s fer damn sure…you Bagwine Bastard, you!!
Matt-Man: Kinda low, aren’t they?
Dubya: Low!!? Hell, my numbers are lower than the belly on a West Texas rattlesnake, mi amigo!!
Matt-Man: It sucks to be you, doesn’t it? So what's up, shit for brains?
Dubya: Ha...If I had shit fer brains, Matt-Man, I'd be mentally constipated...I was wonderin’ iffin ya’d like to go campin’ with me over the Fourth of Joo-lie?
Matt-Man: I dunno, Dubya…where would we camp?
Dubya: Well, Camp David, ya horse’s ass. Geez.
Matt-Man: That’s not really camping, is it? It’s actually more like a resort, isn’t it?
Dubya: It’s got “camp” in the name doesn’t it? Hell, I’ll pitch a tent out back and we can party!!
Matt-Man: Well, I don’t kno---
Dubya: Y’know…Itsa funny thing that it’s called Camp DAVID. I mean, naming it after a Jewish bible guy and all. I didn’t think that Jews even liked to camp.
Matt-Man: Well, it’s not rea---
Dubya: Hell, if that’s the case, maybe Senator Lieberman would like to hook up with us…
Of course if we camp, I’m puttin’ a pig on the spic, and I don’t think he’d like that. Oh, what the fuck...I’ll pack some matzo and some guilt.
Matt-Man: Dubya, I think mayb---
Dubya: Ha…Screw it, if Lieberman comes, I’ll put Barbra Streisand on the spic; there’s some good Jewish meat fer ya, Joey.
Hey Matt-Man, I gots to go…I’ll call ya back later, and settle the intrica…intrici…um…the details with ya later. Ouch!! Goddammit!! That's gonna leave a mark!!
Jenna pick yourself up off the floor, and go make a grandbaby for Mom and me, and fetch me a Coors on your way. Jeez, kids!!
Later, muchacho!!
He’s calling me back later this week…Pray for me.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man: Dubya, I think mayb---
Dubya: Ha…Screw it, if Lieberman comes, I’ll put Barbra Streisand on the spic; there’s some good Jewish meat fer ya, Joey.
Hey Matt-Man, I gots to go…I’ll call ya back later, and settle the intrica…intrici…um…the details with ya later. Ouch!! Goddammit!! That's gonna leave a mark!!
Jenna pick yourself up off the floor, and go make a grandbaby for Mom and me, and fetch me a Coors on your way. Jeez, kids!!
Later, muchacho!!
He’s calling me back later this week…Pray for me.
Cheers!!
