Hey!! Let's Go Camping!!

Okay…

So I am finally getting around to the story that I told you about last Wednesday.

First of all, the Holy Baby Jeebus showed up last Hump Day night, and then when he left, I got a phone call.

It was from an old buddy of mine who asked me to go camping with him.

The last time we hooked up for some frivolity, it went something like THIS. But he wanted to get together again.

Here’s how the conversation went…

Matt-Man: Hello?

Dubya: Hey Matt-Man, you crazy Son of a Bitch, it’s GW!!

Matt-Man: Hey Dubya, what’s up?

Dubya: Well, not my approvalcy ratings, that’s fer damn sure…you Bagwine Bastard, you!!

Matt-Man: Kinda low, aren’t they?

Dubya: Low!!? Hell, my numbers are lower than the belly on a West Texas rattlesnake, mi amigo!!

Matt-Man: It sucks to be you, doesn’t it? So what's up, shit for brains?

Dubya: Ha...If I had shit fer brains, Matt-Man, I'd be mentally constipated...I was wonderin’ iffin ya’d like to go campin’ with me over the Fourth of Joo-lie?

Matt-Man: I dunno, Dubya…where would we camp?

Dubya: Well, Camp David, ya horse’s ass. Geez.

Matt-Man: That’s not really camping, is it? It’s actually more like a resort, isn’t it?

Dubya: It’s got “camp” in the name doesn’t it? Hell, I’ll pitch a tent out back and we can party!!

Matt-Man: Well, I don’t kno---

Dubya: Y’know…Itsa funny thing that it’s called Camp DAVID. I mean, naming it after a Jewish bible guy and all. I didn’t think that Jews even liked to camp.

Matt-Man: Well, it’s not rea---

Dubya: Hell, if that’s the case, maybe Senator Lieberman would like to hook up with us…

Of course if we camp, I’m puttin’ a pig on the spic, and I don’t think he’d like that. Oh, what the fuck...I’ll pack some matzo and some guilt.

Matt-Man: Dubya, I think mayb---

Dubya: Ha…Screw it, if Lieberman comes, I’ll put Barbra Streisand on the spic; there’s some good Jewish meat fer ya, Joey.

Hey Matt-Man, I gots to go…I’ll call ya back later, and settle the intrica…intrici…um…the details with ya later. Ouch!! Goddammit!! That's gonna leave a mark!!

Jenna pick yourself up off the floor, and go make a grandbaby for Mom and me, and fetch me a Coors on your way. Jeez, kids!!

Later, muchacho!!

He’s calling me back later this week…Pray for me.

Cheers!!

Workin' Thru the Weekend

Well folks, it’s Saturday, and I am not happy.

I have to work 11 A.M. til 9 P.M. today. What a bummer.

And then I work 11-7 tomorrow…Oh the humanity!!

I guess this will prevent me from attending Jenna Bush’s wedding, dammit.

I was so looking forward to watching Dick Cheney do the Chicken Dance, and cussing out the groom.

I am thinking that Jenna probably has a pre-nuptial agreement.

She has learned from her father how ugly things can get when one doesn’t have an exit strategy.

Anyhoo, let’s get to the business at hand…

The Bagwine Ruminations Comment of the Week!!

The comments from BR readers are always smart, funny, and in this case, one that offers an invaluable lifestyle tip.

The comment comes from my Wednesday post which dealt with me attending Women’s Conferences this summer in order to get laid.

Hammer, of When Your Only Tool is a Hammer, provided me with a great piece of societal knowledge that will greatly enhance my experience…

“That's quite a schedule. You do know it's quite acceptable to wear French ticklers inside out.”

Thanks for the tip Hammer and congrats on ropin’ this week’s COW. Go say Hi to The Hammer-Man by clicking HERE.

And Now, a Saturday video bonus.

Another Desert Rat, who was the catalyst for me making the hilarious Old Time God video, sent quite the surprise to me.

She had asked what program I used to make my Blog-Fo-Mercials©. I told her…she had the program…and the rest is You Tube history.

In spite of her subject matter (moi) it is a damn good job for any attempt, let alone her first one.

Ladies and Gents, ADR’s video interpretation of Bagwine Ruminations…

It is so nice when people do things out of the blue and completely unexpectedly. I want to thank Desert Rat for her time and generosity.

Thank Ya Pal!!

If you’d like to visit her, say great job, and then tell her what a shame it is that I will be suing her for copyright infringement, click HERE.

Have a great Saturday all. I’ll see ya…well…someday.

Cheers!!