Welcome to the first day of Fall chuckleheads. Fall begins this evening at 11:09 PM.
It’s appropriate that Fall begins today as I am off all day and plan on drinking much which could very well lead to me falling down.
And on Thursday…The Jewish observance of the Feast of the Tabernacles, better known as Sukkot begins. Hee Hee….Sukkot.
This Heeb Holiday is allegedly pronounced “Soo-Koe”. I call bullshit…That spelling screams, “SUCK IT”. Oy Vay!!
The name aside, Sukkot is the third Jewish holiday in the last three weeks. Holy Moses, how many days of Manischewitz drinking and self-loathing can these Christ Killers celebrate!?
It’s like the Jews have three holidays a month, they're as bad as the freakin’ Muslims. I’ll tell you what though…
If I had money to invest, I’d invest it in the Jewish Greeting Card industry and become as rich as them. Only I’d be better off...Because unlike Jews, I’d be invited to join exclusive, private Country Clubs.
I am off today, but the Beer mine was hoppin’ yesterday. Sweet Baby Jeebus!!
It began with Drive-By Mikey bitching about our neighbors…Donato’s Pizza. There had been an empty two liter of Mountain Dew sitting like a sore thumb near their property. They wouldn’t pick it up. It irritated the hell out of him.
So, Mikey walked over and placed it directly on the lot.
They picked it up and threw it away. Hee Hee. That shit drives Drive-By Mikey nuts.
The Beer Mine was really dead until about 3 PM, and then…Blammo!! From 3-8 or so, it was non-stop. The tips were pretty good…
Tuesday night I came home hot, sweaty, and tired, but found something in fridge that I was happy to see and would eat before I went to sleep…
Damn right…Fried SPAM, cooked ahead of time by, and with the compliments of…Schmoop.
Thanks Schmoop!! I do love me some fried SPAM.
One last item and picture of hodgepodge…On this wonderful Autumnal Hump Day, would someone please call our cat, Corky…
She’s evidently dying to talk to somebody new.
Have a Happy Hump Day and remember, between now and Thursday make sure to wish every Jew you meet a wonderful holiday by saying to them…
“Happy? Suck It!!?
Cheers!!
Today is the first day of autumn.
September 22nd…a day of transition and equilibrium, a day which heralds the slow decline of yet another seasonal cycle.
Much like a March snowfall melting off of the nascent bud of a crocus signals the rebirth of the landscape, the yellow, orange, and umber leaves of September portend the impending slumber of the lush and fertile earth.
Being 44, I too, am in the autumn of my years.
Who am I kidding? As I don’t truly expect to live to be 88 years old, I passed my biological equator a few years ago and in Icarus-like fashion am quickly descending towards my own, personal Tropic of Capricorn.
But, I think you know what I mean.
This past Saturday I thought about getting older…about crossing the midway point of my life, and my thoughts relate to the autumnal equinox.
Saturday afternoon I was talking to Schmoop, as I stood in the kitchen. The calendar caught my eye because I saw something printed on September 22nd.
I looked at it, and read to myself what I thought it said…
First Day of Autism.
WTF? I thought to myself. It was at that point I took off my glasses, got three inches from the calendar, and then said…
“Ohhhh, first day of AUTUMN. Well, that makes sense.” I laughed, and then was a bit annoyed.
I don’t mind getting older at all. I am much better person than I was ten years ago.
I am in much better shape than I was three or four years ago, and much like the sun shining down at zero degrees latitude, I have a sense of personal equilibrium about me.
But…
There are things about getting older that drive me nuts. My teeth for one. I wish they would simply ALL fall out so I can get a nice set of artificial chompers.
My eyes…My vision is 20/775 and on top of that, as demonstrated by my calendar incident I need bifocals.
Hell, I can’t wear my contacts to work, because the only way I would be able to check an ID is if my arms were forty feet long. With my glasses, I can take them off and check ID's…3 inches from my face.
I miss being able to party all night AND having sex. As it is now, I have to choose between the two. Too much drinkie means not much nookie, because after too much drinkie, there is no dinkie.
As George Costanza would say, “It’s like a frightened turtle.”
On the other hand, I don’t mind having very little hair on my head. It saves time getting ready.
I like the gray in my goatee too. Schmoop digs it as well, as does my new Beer Mine “girl” friend, Tiffany (any comment on that one, Pizza Bill?).
Anyhoo…I guess getting older is like fall…like autumn. This time of year is a harbinger of cold, gray, and lifeless times to come, but…
Autumn is also full of beautiful colors, festivals, and clean crisp days. Winter will come whether I fret about it or not.
I guess my best course of action is to accept the coming winter and in the meantime, enjoy the kaleidoscope of foliage, devour the culinary aroma of an Oktoberfest, and bask in the glow of a well-carved Jack-O-Lantern.
Autumn is good.
Cheers!!
They picked it up and threw it away. Hee Hee. That shit drives Drive-By Mikey nuts.
Tuesday night I came home hot, sweaty, and tired, but found something in fridge that I was happy to see and would eat before I went to sleep…
Damn right…Fried SPAM, cooked ahead of time by, and with the compliments of…Schmoop.
She’s evidently dying to talk to somebody new.
