Holy Week: It's Wednesday, Who's There?

Yesterday, we spoke about how Jeebus was a bit of a prankster and jokester.

Well, have I got some news for you!!

Back in 1999, while trying to bury what was left of my self-esteem in the backyard of my “soon to be handed over to the ex” estate:

Something HUGE Happened…

I discovered an ancient religious text buried beneath several inches of dirt, dead grubs, and three empty bottles of Bagwine.

This my friends, forever changed my life.

Much like the Book of Menus, that I mentioned yesterday, this was quite the find.

This ancient book reveals that our boy Jeebus, was on the cutting edge of comedy, and the inventor of the Knock-Knock joke.

From what I have heard through the word of God, he came up with them on the Wednesday prior to his crucifixion.

While most of his jocularity has been lost, my fortuitous dig turned up the lost Knock-Knock jokes of Jeebus Christ.

This text, which was labeled, The Book of Rodney, was full of these gems, and comprises the first book of what I call, The Knockstic Gospels.

I also found a series of unmarked one-liners by Jeebus, that I have called, the Book of Henny. More on that at a later date.

The Book of Rodney contains the following…

Father, the Pharisees show me no respect. (Rodney 1: 1)

I walked into the Temple, and the Moneychangers said unto me, “You are so ugly; you would have to sneak up on a glass of Holy Water.” (Rodney 1: 7-8)

I’m a bad lover. Once, I caught a Peeping Thomas booing. He also doubted me. (Rodney 3: 14)

We then get into a few of his Knock-Knock jokes…

Knock-Knock. Who’s There? Jew. Jew Who? Dry Your Yiddish Tears You Big Ninny. (Rodney 5: 17-18)

Knock-Knock. Who’s There? Judas. Judas Who? Judas See Who Kissed Me? (Rodney 13: 28)

And my favorite…

Knock-Knock. Who’s There? Noah. Noah Who? Noah good Doctor who could sew up the holes in my hands? (Rodney 11: 22-24)

What a Holy Laugh Riot the Holy Baby Jeebus turned out to be…You RAWK Jay-Cee!!

There’s also a funny story about Holy Wednesday that is relayed to us in the Book of Rodney…

And thusly, the Apostles awoke on the mid week day. There was a ruckus. Bartholomew asked, “What the Hell is going on?”

Matthew spaketh, “Jeebus is plowing Mary Magdalene’s Garden of Eden.”

Thaddeus answered…

“I hope Jeebus’ snake doesn’t get charred by her Burning Bush.”

Jeebus emerged from the den, and spoke,"Mary and I were happy for twenty years...and then we met. Bada Bing, I'll be here til Friday!!"

Jeebus, all 12 Apostles, and a butt-nekkid Mary laughed their Holy asses off. (Rodney 7: 10-17)

And that my friends, is what transpired on Holy Wednesday.

I hope to see you all tomorrow for a special Easter edition of Half Nekkid Holy Thursday.

Cheers!!