Martin Luther King, Jr.: A Stark Reminder of Today's Mediocrity

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day…

A day when millions remember and honor the memory and legacy of the foremost civil rights leader of a generation who was tragically slain in 1968.

King was a visionary who was brilliant, affective, and foremost, courageous. He also possessed perhaps the two most important gifts of a leader of men and causes…

An ability to inspire through sensible yet moving oratory, and more importantly, the serendipity of marching along the timeline of history at just the right moment.

King coming along at the time he did was his most important ally because…

If MLK were alive today and railing against the injustices in the world, he would be eaten alive, by talk radio, tabloids, and the schadenfreude driven 24/7 “news” cycle of speculation and innuendo of cable TV.

Martin Luther King in spite of all his incredible command of what is good and what is just, was a man. A man full of flaws like all of us.

And…

Many of King’s human weaknesses were, by the girdle donning, high heel wearing J. Edgar Hoover, (and RFK for that matter) noted, embellished, and oft times imagined.

Did the married, minister of God enjoy the company of white women? Maybe.

Was he, the civil rights movement, and the SCLC associated with the Communist Party. Not really.

Because King was friends and was mentored by another black civil rights activist, Bayard Rustin, who was a known homosexual make King gay? Hardly…see above.

As King was a fan of the non-violent movement propagated by Gandhi, an Indian, anti-American? Fuck no.

Yet today?

All of this “information” would be perused, skewed, and then taken as fact and spray painted like graffiti on the walls of a shut down factory in Youngstown, Elkhart, or Detroit upon our radios and TV’s.

And my friends…As MLK helped a people and a nation to see and actualize his dream, we as a nation have turned that dream on its head and turned it to some degree, into a nightmare.

If MLK were alive today he would be vilified for “communist ties”, “hanging out with homosexuals”, and being an un-American peacenik by today’s angry, ratings at all costs media, and the thirst for such from a large portion of Americans.

That is indeed why today, we have no great leadership in this country. Why would anyone who has the ability and desire to lead this nation, suffer the scrutiny of those who seek to tear greatness down?

I don’t care if a person was late on their taxes, smoked pot, had a marital indiscretion, or peed in a public pool while drunk if he or she is willing and able to lead this country out of its debt and malaise.

The great ones of today have no desire to lead because it would mean that they would be under the microscope of a media and a people who care more about who they fucked rather than what they can do.

We are stuck with vanilla. We are stuck with mediocrity. We are stuck with the here and now of, “Oh My God…he or she did what?”

I want inspiration from someone, no matter if he or she has human imperfections.

Where’s that inspiration going to come from? John Boehner? Mitch McConnell? Nancy Pelosi? Harry Reid?...Sarah Palin!!?

Ha…I don’t fucking think so.

We have no leaders like King. King spent his adult years trying to forge the unity of a nation and sadly, trying unsuccessfully to not be gunned down by the bullet of bigotry and hate.

The so called leaders we have today? Instead of seeking greatness, they spend their adult years merely seeking reelection.

I hate it.

Cheers!!

The 2010 Mid-Term Election Results: Here's To Incest, Pot, and Booze!!

The 2010 mid-term elections are over and…

While many think the results are decisive, I think the results are quite mixed as are my emotions.

The U.S. House of Representatives will once again be run by the Republicans to which I say:

Fuck it. The House is nothing but a playground ground for third-rate lawyers, failed entrepreneurs, and men and women who know that they have no chance in hell of ever getting laid without the title of "Representative" in front of their name.

The Senate? Yeah the GOP made expected gains in that chamber as well, but c’mon…Rand Paul?

Hey, I know he acts like he’s the incestuous spawn of a brother/sister-wife fuck session, which y'all so adore, but he’s not.

Voters of Kentucky, I ask you?

How can you elect a walking freak show of a man who would rather spend time worshipping a false idol named Aqua Buddha than getting naked and sweaty with his uber-hot cousin?

Hey Dems!? Boy do I have a bone to pick with you stupid shits.

You rally behind an insufferable, mealy mouthed milquetoast like Harry Reid in Nevada, and yet in Wisconsin, you leave a smart, independent thinking guy like Russ Feingold to swing in the cold, dairy land winds.

I was disappointed with my own state of Ohio as well. Our incumbent Attorney General Richard Cordray was narrowly defeated by career politician and former U.S. Senator Mike DeWine.

Very sad…Cordray is a good guy.

Our incumbent Governor Ted Strickland was defeated as well by former Congressman and Wall Street mogul John Kasich. Go figure.

I can live with that. I mean, at least I don’t live in Idaho. They re-elected a Governor whose name is, Butch Otter.

Seriously…can one really respect the head of a state who's known as Gov. Otter? Every time I would see him clapping his hands, I would be laughing my ass off.

Conversely, Vermont showed their coolness by electing a Governor whose last name is Dubie.

That’s right. Brian Dubie is now the CEO of the State of Vermont so let’s head to Montpelier and fire up the water bong. Hell…

We may get doubly lucky and run into Rand Paul at the party!!

There was one election result that provided me with some joy…joy so great that my eyes welled up with tears.

Last night, in a sleepy section of northwest Arkansas, a section of America which time had forgotten, something miraculous happened.

Sheriff Taylor was shot in the back. Aunt Bea was finally laid to rest…and Otis was let out of jail.

Residents of Boone County Arkansas, none more famous than my friend and I’m With Stupid co-host, Jayman, no longer have to travel to Missouri to buy alcohol.

A ballot initiative allowing the sale of alcohol has appeared to have passed in Redneckville, AR.

Praise Jeebus and pass the Wild Irish Rose!!

Here’s to my buddy Jay, and to all of the money he will save on gas.

Happy Hump Day, all. And as always…

Cheers!!

Health Care Reform Passes...Right Wingers Head To The Emergency Room

I have Health Care reform on the brain on this, what we shall call, Healthcare Fallout Monday or what some of the more paranoid in our society are calling, The Day America Died at the Hands of a Renegade Kenyan.

Yes folks, Obama Care…Health Care Reform…The Leftists Wiping Their Asses With The Constitution, whatever you want to call it has passed the House, 219-212.

And folks…

There is much wailing and gnashing of the teeth among frenzied, God-fearing, right-wing mouth breathers who are melting down their gold fillings, buying their survival seeds, and putting their glossies of Glenn Beck and Ann Coulter into nuclear-proof, archival sheet protectors.

President Obama and the Democratically controlled Congress have not only sent this nation down the "Road to Perdition" they have sent every Sarah Palin loving Son of a Bitch into an irreversible state of apoplexy.

I hope these fucked up teabaggin’ fatalists have a good health care plan, because man…merely listenin’ to Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity everyday isn’t going to be enough to resuscitate these folks this time.

I was listening to a right wing radio talk show out of Columbus, Ohio while at work Sunday, and what sounded to be a lady in her fifties called in and through her audible sobbing said to the fear mongering host:

“Since Wednesday, when I saw that this Health Care Bill had a possibility to pass, I have been unable to cope.”

I was transfixed to the radio, no really. I turned my head, stared at the radio, and with mouth agape as I walked toward the psychotic voice emanating from the radio, I spoke:

“You have been crying and unable to cope for nearly five days over this? Holy Shit Bitch…If anyone needs health care it’s you…and quickly!!”

Oy Vay!!

Listen now…I am not a big fan of this bill, nor I am big fan of Pelosi; I loathe Harry Reid, and I am ambivalent about Obama, however…

I am sure as hell not afraid of any of them or worried that our country is on the brink of collapse or a Communist takeover.

Do you know why? ‘Cause unlike these, Chicken Little, The Socialistic Sky Is Falling, whistle dicks crying into their copy of Bill O’Reilly’s latest book, I trust our Constitution.

These freaks who are crying that our Constitution is being trashed and want it followed, actually have no faith in the very document which they claim to honor.

If they did, they would relax and exercise their right to vote out nearly anyone who voted yes on this bill should they feel the need come November. Hell in 2012, they can vote Obama out.

I’m sure there’ll be plenty of lawsuits claiming that this bill is unconstitutional. When these lawsuits make it to the Supreme Court, if all or parts of the bill are deemed unconstitutional, the Supreme Court will say as much.

So relax, and all of you walking, talking freak shows, let the Constitution that you claim to love so much, work…

Unless of course, instead of truly desiring the glorious words of the U.S. Constitution to be followed, you just want your own inglorious desires to be followed.

No matter, how all of this Health Care Reform crap plays out in the long run, we will as a nation be okay. We always have been, sometimes in spite of ourselves.

And watching the demonstrations of incredibly histrionic displays of anger by some Obama hating, teabag gin’ assholes over this entire episode, this is one of those “in spite of ourselves” times.

Cheers!!

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day: His Dream Lives On...

Today is the day we in the United States observe the birthday, and honor the life and accomplishments of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Rev. King spent his entire life trying to mold this nation and indeed the world into a place where all people are created equal and are judged not by the color of their skin, but rather the content of their character.

He was a leader defined by his own words as being one who is not a searcher of consensus, but a molder of consensus.

King was courageous, intelligent, and an unwavering force in the civil rights movement. He broke down barriers that confronted the black community in this country.

His eloquence is exceeded only by accomplishments in tearing down those barriers, and while his life was cut short by an assassin’s bullet in 1968, his eloquence and legacy live on through others who have built upon King’s vision and have continued his dream…

Rev. Jesse Jackson has continued King’s dream of understanding and unity by calling Jews, “hymies”, accusing Barack Obama of being “too white”, and fathering an illegitimate child.

As King said, “A man can’t ride your back unless it’s bent.”

Knowing this quote well, Jackson evidently hooked up with a straight chick and rode her from the front.

Decades after his death, King’s message of racial and cultural harmony still echoes whenever Rev. Al Sharpton speaks. This is very evident when Sharpton speaks on the importance of education as he did at Kean College in 1994:

“White folks was in caves while we was building empires...We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.”

Damn straight, Al!!

Gary Coleman, Jimmie J.J. Walker, and The View co-host Sherri Shepherd, are proof positive that black Americans, like many of their white counterparts, need no talent in order to have a career in the entertainment industry.

King’s words, live on not only in the collective consciousness of America’s black population. His words live on in the action of white Americans as well.

Nearly every day, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her idolaters remind us all of something King said long ago…

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

His words and vision certainly do transcend time and race. It’s a shame that he didn’t live long enough to see and hear these people distort continue his dream and his work.

He would be proud of these folks, but he would be even more proud of the fact that a light skinned African-American who has no negro dialect unless he wanted to have one, was elected President of the United States.

Yeah…King’s determination, courage, vision, and eloquence sure do live on in our times, don’t they?

Cheers!!

No Negro Dialect Unless He Wanted To Have One..? Sen. Harry Reid, Keepin' It Real

If you follow political news, you are aware that Senate Majority Leader, Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) is in some hot water for comments he made about President Obama in the new book, Game Change by Bagwine faves, John Heilemann and Mark Halperin.

Sometime during the 2008 Presidential campaign, Reid said that the country was ready for a, "light-skinned" African-American president with "no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.”

Republicans are all over Reid’s comments like white on rice, and some are demanding that he step down from his post as Senate Majority Leader.

Sens. John Cornyn (R-TX) and Jon Kyl (R-AZ) have said that there should be as much outrage over these comments as there was over former Senator Trent Lott’s (R-MS) comments back in 2002.

They both fail to say that Lott’s comments suggested that we’d be better off today if Strom Thurmond had been elected President in 1948, because we’d still have separate bathrooms for blacks and whites, separate lunch counters, and me having sex with Tyra Banks would be frowned upon unless of course she was my maid, servant, or general purpose house nigger.

So to me…there is a big difference as to what Harry Reid said and what Lott said. In fact, Harry Reid was exactly correct.

Evidently America, at least the section that votes, was ready for a light skinned African-American who has no negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.

And let me tell you folks…Obama sometimes does like throwing a bit of negro dialect around.

I have it on solid information that he refers to his Secret Service cadre as, “my posse”. He calls Joe Biden, “my homie”, and often addresses CIA Director Leon Panetta as, “Snoop Dog”.

He even refers to Air Force One as, “My Tricked Out Seven-Hoopty-Seven”. So c’mon folks…Sen. Reid was merely keepin’ it real.

I guess the main furor is over the fact that Reid used the word, “negro”. What’s the big deal? There’s a perfectly good reason why he did that.

Reid’s a Mormon.

Mormons have had issues with black people for decades. Hell, they have only allowed the black, Satanic, race of Cain the opportunity to become priests and enter the Mormon Temple since 1978.

While many non-Mormon Americans didn’t replace the use of the word “nigger” with “negro” until some 100 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, Harry Reid did it in a mere 30 years after blacks were emancipated in the eyes of the Mormon Church.

I’d say that proves that ol’ Harry is on the cutting edge and three times quicker than other Americans when it comes to cultural sensitivity, accepting change, and as I said, keepin’ it real.

Sen. Reid doesn’t just confine his honesty to how he feels about President Obama and negroes either. No sir-ree. He’s an equal opportunity truth teller as evidenced by this statement he made at a press conference some time ago…

"My staff tells me not to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway, in the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it's true."

See folks? Harry Reid has always been and was in this case about Obama, telling the truth...which leads me to one conclusion, and one conclusion only…

If you hate Sen. Harry Reid…you hate the truth.

Cheers!!

If you'd like to watch it...Here's a good video put together by Newsy that covers multiple angles of the Reid controversy...

Obama Does Vegas

Tuesday night, President Obama attended a fundraiser at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas for Senator Harry Reid.

Not one to just sit back and attend…The O-Man decided that when in Las Vegas do as the Las Vegans. So, he did a brief stand-up act.

Thanks to the work of the crack Bagwine staff, I give you the joke by joke transcript of his comedy act…

Hey y’all. What a good looking crowd, albeit very white. In fact, I haven’t seen this many white people in one place since I saw a video on You Tube of an Air Supply concert. Ba Dump Bump.

How many of you are from out of town? Me too. In fact…

I just flew in from D.C. and boy…my arms aren’t tired at all. Ba Dump Bump. Ha. Hell, I had a nice steak dinner and then took a two hour nap aboard Air Force One.

Have you seen all the smack down that is going on of late between Dick Cheney and Colin Powell? I know exactly how it all got started.

A couple of weeks ago, Dick Cheney and Colin Powell walked into a Chinese restaurant. And they both ordered the Kung Pao Chicken.

Powell saw, that unlike Cheney, he didn’t get an egg roll with his dinner.

Powell asked the guy at the counter. “Sir, Cheney and I ordered the same thing. Why did only Dick get eggroll?”

“Ahhhh so verly sorry Mr. Powell, but with five militarly deferments, person get egg roll.” Ba Dump Bump.

Some people say I am here to help raise money for Harry Reid’s 2010 Senate reelection campaign. That’s only half true.

While I am here to help raise money for Harry Reid, the money is not for his campaign; it will be used to buy Harry a personality. Ba Dump Bump.

I was going to do a little Siegfried and Roy thing for ya, but the only one capable of trying to eat me alive was busy. Yes indeed…Rush Limbaugh said that tonight was no good because he had a date with his Richard Nixon Blow-Up Fuck Doll. Ba Dump Bump.

Boo Yah!! Gimme another rim shot on that one, Rahm. Ba Dump Bump. Rahm Emanuel on the punch line drum, ladies and gentlemen.

Rahm wanted to do his own little bit, but the owners of Caesar’s said that Sam Kinnison was dead and they wanted to keep it that way. Ba Dump Bump.

Ha Ha Ha. Yes indeed, Rahm has quite the foul mouth on him. In fact, he’s the only person in D.C. who can get away with telling Dick Cheney to go fuck hizzself. Ba Dump Bump.

I guess by now you’ve heard that I have picked Sonia Sotomayor to replace David Souter on the Supreme Court.

She’s the Bronx born daughter of Puerto Rican parents. If confirmed, she will be proof positive that even on the Supreme Court, a white man can be replaced on the job by a Hispanic. Ba Dump Bump.

Southern Conservatives, such as Jeff Sessions and Evangelical groups, such as Focus on the Family will be up in arms over my selection.

Why, you ask? Her views on things such as abortion?…No. On Drugs?…No. On Guns?…No.

You see, Ms. Sotomayor wanted to become a lawyer while growing up watching Raymond Burr portray TV lawyer, Perry Mason.

Because of her early idolization of Raymond Burr, some on the right feel that she will give preferential legal treatment to homosexuals. Ba Dump Bump.

Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Miss Sheryl Crow. And let me tell ya, that’s some Crow I wouldn’t mind eatin’…Ba Dump Bump.

You’ve been a great crowd. Make sure to try the veal and tip your waitress. ‘Cause chances are…they voted for me.

Yeah…That’s how it all went down…because I believe it.

Cheers!!