Today marks the last in a series of Birthdays that have taken place this week.
It’s been a Bagwine Birthday-O-Rama, hasn’t it? Holy Baby Jeebus!!
Today marks the ex’s B-day.
I will be going out quite early this morning to fetch a card, some donuts, and a present for Ryno to give to his mom today.
Why do I do that for the ex? Because it’s the right thing to do, it makes Ryno happy, and it’s good for the little man to witness.
On top of that, I am just a helluva nice guy, and that’s how I roll.
And well…She does the same thing on my birthday. It’s not like we hate each other any longer…most of the time, anyway.
Sometime today, we will find out who Barack Obama’s running mate is. Are you excited? Of course you are.
Talk about exciting…I was invited to attend the Democratic National Convention and just “hang out.” I declined, for two reasons.
Number one, I am running for President myself. Number two, and more importantly, I will be hanging out at the Republican National Convention in September.
The reason is obvious…Conservative women are in more of a dire need to have some hot Matt-Man.
They need to loosen up and lose their suburban angst, cast off the yoke of repressed sexual desires, and involve themselves in liberal doses of my nakedness.
It will be kinda fun giving the high hard one to such notable Conservatives such as Laura Ingraham and Monica Crowley. Purrrrrrrr.
And what the hell, because I am so giving and selfless, I’ll even get it on with Anthrax Coulter.
Don’t worry guys, I’ll use a strap-on and spread shellac on my tongue when doing her.
I refuse to allow my Matt-Meat or my ankyloglossia to come in actual contact with Coulter’s toxic, vaginal walls of hate and loneliness.
I may even win over a few converts to my candidacy with my dork and my tongue. Move over, “Rock the Vote”, I‘m going to, “Lick the Vote.” Matt-Man: Muff Divin’ for ‘Merica!!
Oh and by the way...Kat and Dana? Since both of you are Republican leaning women, I would be happy to include both of you in my initiative. Please?
Well, that’s all I got…that’s all there is…there isn’t anymore.
I may pop in again today to chime in on Obama’s VP pick, but that is contingent on me being sober enough to type.
Have a great Saturday, all.
Cheers!!
P.S. Here's to Obama's VP candidate pick, Sen. Joe Biden. The smartest, most brutally honest, and down to Earth SOB on Capitol Hill. Joe, you rock!!
26 comments:
I assume that you left Michelle Malkin off the list because you knew that I would be keeping her busy and completely worn out, right? ;-)
Jay: Have at it, buddy. Just be careful that her herpes and her stupid don't rub off on you. Ick. Cheers Jay!!
Dude you have much higher standards when it comes to the iron curtains of Ann coulter's labia.
I'd cross that minefield!
I like the way you think, Matty! I'll free Tibet with my tits, and you can rapaciously reform Republican women.
Hey now ... I may be conservative leaning in my politics, but I can assure you I am very liberal in the bedroom, kitchen, back seat ... shall I go on??
Well I for one think Kat and Dana are MUCH hotter than the dippy blondes above!
Hammer: One word...Ewwwwwww. Cheers Hammer!!
Boo: Sounds like a good plan. After our attempts, how 'bout you and I get together and "debrief" each other as what went on. Cheers!!
Dana: Yes, please go on. And please, do it in person. Cheers Dana!!
Cheesy: I whole-heartedly agree Cheesy. Cheers!!
Biden is a good pick...
I'm not sure I can be your friend if you plan on "doing" Anne Coulter...she's the devil incarnate.
Enjoy your day!!
HUGS!
Leelee: If me getting naked with Coulter would come between us, I will ask Jay to go down on her in my stead. Cheers Cutie!!
OK then...I'm good!
;-)
I always love the way Biden smiles while he's trying to ream out some answers, from some tight lipped asshat in the hot seat.
I think he is a good man, fighting for the little people [while lining his pockets in the american tradition].
Cheesy, I think I love you!!
I'm pleased with the VP pick. I guess that doesn't get me any action. Damn!
I knew you'd be pleased with Biden. In some ways I'm relieved he didn't pick Bayh. I think Bayh's day will come.
I'm currently sauntering down the middle of the road; does that entitle me to any gratuitous action? *grin*
Leelee: Anything for you. Cheers!!
Micky: He loves to jump all over somebody...And actually, Biden, isn't worht millions like most Senators. Cheers!!
Dana: Mmmmmmmm. I'd love to watch you express that love upon her. Cheers!!
Knight: If it's action you want, it's action you shall get. Cheers!!
Songbird: Damn Straight. Hewas my choice for Prez. I love the guy. As far as the other, maybe some gratutitous action will force you to one side of the road or the other. Cheers!!
Evil: It's nice to see that intelligence in politicians still respected. And as far as Ann, I am officially backing off of that shit. Cheers EG!!
Just saw Bidens speech, not bad, he'll be kicking his long time friend Johnny Macs ass all over the podium with that "Big Biden Smile" from now to the election.
Micky: They are not nearly as close as they used to be because McCain did ads against his kid when running for AG of Delaware.
Biden's speech was good and he is gonna eat some from frickin' right wing red meat. Cheers!!
Happy Birthday to Ryno's Mom. She is a very pretty lady. You were very sweet to go out and get her gifts to make her day special. I am sure it makes Ryno feel good also. I am sure you have pleased more than the two of them with your kindness today. :-)
Hugs,
Kimmie
Jesus Matt, I'd move to Canada before I'd tongue Coulter with or without shellac :P
Kimmie: Thanks, but none of those women are my ex. Cheers!!
Starr: Poetic License, Starr. Poetic License. Cheers!!
I can NOT believe I missed this.
I do love the high hard one...Grand Old Party gal that I am...
I need a new picture...
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