As I told you earlier this week, I have been a bit ticked off of late.Schmoop was shedding her eggs. Ryno was slacking off at school, and well, I really wasn’t lookin’ forward to working on Easter Sunday.
But…there are a few rays of joy that came my way recently.
I’m still in a bit of a funk over my kid, but I’ll be hanging out with him today, which will be nice.
And, he should feel very fortunate that April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, ‘cause I’d still like to smack him upside his head. But nonetheless, he’s a joy to be with.
I got paid yesterday and by golly, thanks to President Obama, I had a few extra dollars on my check. That’s cool, especially since the Federal Tax on smokes just went up.
I am back down to 182 pounds, so that makes me kinda happy. Just think, my 72 hour fast starts Thursday so I may just break that 180 barrier.Someone from Joyce Meyer Ministries was reading my site again yesterday. That always puts a smile on my face.
I think ol’ chipmunk cheek Joyce wants to get all naked and biblical with me.
Maybe I’ll email her and ask her if she’d like to play, Lot and his Wanton Daughters, with me and Lindsay Roberts.
My brother Marte’ came over Thursday night and he came bearing gifts. Birthday gifts for Schmoop specifically.
He brought her a new DVD player, some beer, Movie Theatre popcorn, and a DVD of Tommy Boy. Marte’ and his wife are a couple of sweethearts.That DVD player is a great gift, because we were really having trouble finding quality BETA tapes of late.
My mood was also improved because my old buddy Sherri came through the Drive-Thru Friday night. Always a pleasure to see her.
She told me to stop losing weight and then asked what color my pee was. No, she’s not completely crazy; she’s a nurse.
Anyhoo, she said once again that we’d get together for some coffee. Ha. She’s so cute when she lies to my face.
And then, after work Friday night…I came home and got my freak on with my non-menstruating Schmoop.
Yum-Frickin’-Ohhhhhhhh, Baby!! I think there is more of that in store for today. And guess what else, Bitches!?
As it stands now, I am off Easter Sunday. That’s right. I am working half a day next Saturday, but as for Easter? I…Am…Off!!
Come Resurrection Day, it will be me, Jeebus, and Schmoop, with a suitcase full of White Castles, a bucket of chicken, a bag full of Taco Bell, and a skillet full of brats.
And all the while, we will be watching porn on the new DVD player.
This week hasn’t been the best week of my life, but there are always glimmers of sunshine no matter how dark things may seem.
Enjoy your Saturday, all…
Cheers!!
30 comments:
well glad your week won't be a total loss.
just remember
"spare the rod...spoil the child"
smile.
That is quite the Easter Brunch you got planned after a few days of fasting...careful my friend.
what is the traditional Easter Day porn?
Kat: Oh Baby!! I am going to be chowing down. And as for Ryno? I haven't spared anything over his latest escapade.
Let's see...good Easter Porn? How about The Ten Cum-Mandments followed by Delilah Does Damascus? Cheers Kat!!
I could have told you that everything in life is better with a side of meat ;)
The Tower of Boobel is another biblical pr0n classic ;)
two of my faves are:
He is Risen
and
The Second Cumming
Can I make a gratuitous parting the red sea comment in honor of menstruating women everywhere? Can I?!
sure starr....
many people frequently confuse moses with menses
Starr and Kat: I just had a thought...It involved the me, the two of you, and a video camera. Boo Yah. Cheers and Nitey-Nite!!!!
Your shirt never looked so good dude.
I'm convinced this is all related to your temporary vegetarianism - the cows have cursed you!
Don't forget the well marbled rib eye with a side of onions.
Sounds like you are going to need all the red meat you can get your hands on.
I put up several vegetarian recipes, not the least of which was Irish Balls, and I still couldn't totally convert you. (shakes head and sighs). Oh well, I haven't been able to convert my Boys either.
Sounds like a full day you've got planned there. All after a 72 hour fast. Have fun.
Jeff: It is a rather fetching look on her. Cheers Jeff!!
Dana: Those damn cows will stop at nothing in trying to prevent me from eating them. Cheers!!
Hammer: That in fact, is my faveorite cut. There will be one in my futre. Cheers!!
Michele: I appreciate the effort. But heart belongs to beef. Cheers Michele!!
A good day to you a Schmoop too Matt-man :)
Lu: Right back at ya. I hope you're feeling well today. Cheers Lu!! : )
Don't forget to top those White Castles with bacon!
Cheesy: They actually make a bacon cheeeezburger now. I will ingest more than a few. Cheers Cheesy!!
Hey, let's hear about that "best" week of your life.
Have a great weekend!
...don't forget that timeless Easter classic, "The Semen on the Mount"...
ok I might have missed the details of your fast, but take it easy on re introducing meat/food to fast. Wouldn't want you to get sick and miss the fun. Semen on the mount? Where do these readers of yours come up with this stuff? It's too early for me to be that clever, or maybe it was just too late of a night. Have a good time with the kid!
Micky: Hopefully, the best week of my life has yet to come. Cheers Mick!!
Phfrankie: Ha. So far, I like that one the best. Cheers!!
Snugs: I am fasting the last 72 hours of Lent. No food. And then Easter norning...Boo Yah Baby, Meat-O-Frickin'-Rama. Cheers!!
Porn on DVD - just what the Matt-Man needs.
Songbird: The best thing is I can record porn flicks of Schmoop and I, burn them, and them play them on the DVD player. Man, Life is Good!! Cheers!!
Way to keep looking at the positive side dude!
And another pic of Schmoop to add to my stalker's collection!
Jay: Schmoop wanted me to ask if you had an altar dedicated to her. The funny thing is...
There was hope in her voice that you would respond in the affirmative. Cheers Jay!!
are we watching porn next weekend?
Just promise me you don't pay for your porn. Thehun.net my friends;)
Click that mother at your own risk, people.
Teamster: Not only watching some; I plane on making some. Cheers!!
Starr: Ha. I think I've checked that site out, but I'll make sure to swing by. Cheers!!
So you'll be watching DVDs of barbecues?
TB: Not on Easter. It will be a meat and flesh fest. Cheers TB!!
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