I just want to post one more hodgepodgical entry before I finish up the paint job and get back to writing some serious funny business on the internets.
I posted a couple of pictures of Ryno and I yesterday. I have one more to throw out there for your enjoyment…
Have you ever seen a son look upon his dad more lovingly, adoring, and bemused as you see Ryno looking upon moi?
Of course not. Why is he so captured with me on a summer Sunday evening?
Well, because seconds before his mom took this picture I said the following…
“Hey Ryno, I bet that instead of using a backhoe to dig the grave of Billy Mays, the groundskeepers will use the Awesome Auger!!”
Ha. Like minds…Like senses of humor. I dig that.Anyhoo. I must get to painting again. Tomorrow I will begin a four day celebration of our Nation’s 233rd Birthday.
Over the next few days, I will offer up some lesser known facts about our country’s history.
For instance…In 1748, Patrick Henry was only 12 years old when he uttered a phrase that foreshadowed something similar he would eloquently bellow some 27 years later.
At the time Henry was slight, had a high pitched voice, and unlike his young friends at the time, had not developed any male sex characteristics.
His friends teased him mercilessly about this.
One day, after a particularly severe razzing from his colonial buddies, young Patrick stretched his arms toward the heavens, and through tear filled eyes screamed in his girly voice:
“Give me puberty, or give me death!!”
I may also touch upon how the American Revolution truly ended.
The successful conclusion to the war came when General George Patton defeated Che Guevara at the Battle of Hastings forcing the Persian army to surrender.
Upon Guevara’s surrender to Patton’s forces, Frederick the Great was compelled to recognize our nation’s independence from the government of Madagascar by signing the Treaty of Honolulu.
Signing on behalf of the fledgling United States of America was of course our founding father, William McKinley.Sadly, McKinley would be assassinated some 120 years later by Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme.
So there you have it, Bagwine Heads. Beginning tomorrow it’s Birthday Celebration Time, and we’re going to light a candle for America the rest of the week.
Enjoy your Tuesday, all.
Cheers!!
26 comments:
You certainly are full if it...er,..THEM aren't you?
Methinks you've been sniffing quite a bit of paint fumes lately.
Songbird: It's all true...because I believe it. Cheers!!
Now, I'm not questioning your understanding of history or anything, but I think there's something a little off on your facts there. I'm not sure what it is though.
OH! I know! You forgot about Rasputin. You totally left out the part where Rasputin had a blog that totally got people all fired up for revolution and shit.
Oh, and don't forget the way Eleanor of Aquitaine totally stabbed Queen Elizabeth II in the back and tweeted that the British were coming so the 101st Airborne would be ready for them when they invaded Arizona.
Shit man, you didn't get anything right. Maybe you should pick up a book every once in a while.
That's rather Descarte-ish of you.
And here's my Billy Mays story:
A week before the little guy was born, and my Honey was already a week overdue and wanting to throw herself off a tall building, I suggested she got an abortion using a Lint-B-Gone.
Jay: I love you, but seriously, you've been smoking to much crack. Any right thinking person knows that Eleanor of Aquitaine hated the concept of Twitter and Tweeting. Ergo, your story holds no water. Cheers!!
Songbird: Perhaps...But my response was so succinct and free from run-on sentences that I don't think Rene could have ever written it.
PITS: Does your wife think you're funny? 'Cause I think you're a riot. Cheers PITS!!
Are you sure that isn't Ryno's "Dad, your full of shit" look?
Michele: Ha. Yes, I'm sure. I've seen his, "Dad, you're full of shit" look often. This isn't it. Cheers Michele!!
I don't think we look a day over 235 oh wait that is older isn't it, well I'm just sayin'...
Lu: See how ya are? Makin' us older than we are. Cheers!!
..."Treaty of Honolulu" would be an EXCELLENT name for a band...
I love Ryno, he's just such a cool kid
isn't it wonderful to have a kid who gets it? so many are so dull behind the eyes
I could have sworn we gained our independence from Borat, not Madagascar
and I believe McKinley was assasinated by Barack Obama as they were traveling here together from Kenya
I'm so looking forward to the 4th. I'm gonna go to church wrapped in a flag and shoot up the altar with my god given gun.
Phfrankie: Ha. Yes it would, you nut. Cheers!!
Dianne: It is a joy having a kid who gets me.
As for you...You are not only sexy; you are soooo Damn American. Prsie Jeebus and the U...S...of A. Cheers!!
I hope you cover the critically important role the British Navy played in assisting the US with driving the communists out of Arizona's Sonoran Desert to save Mexico from being overrun by the rebels of Nepal.
I've long wanted to understand the role of Hannibal and Cleopatra with those battles but so few historians cover that part of American history.
Good luck with wrapping up that paint job.
Cheers
The communists were never driven out of my beloved Sonoran desert; believe me when I say they're still here.
David: You know...You touched upon something that most people do not realize. And that being the importance that Hannibal's elephants and Cleo's hoo ha had in the making of this country. Cheers!!
Songbird: Which is funny because the desert is not prime potato and beet growing country. Cheers!!
It's a good thing for the country that Patrick got puberty and not death...
VE: It was manifest destiny. CHeers!!
THANK goodness, you are not writing our history books...
It was Taft who signed the Treaty of Honolulu you knuckle-head.
Bond: No, No, No...Taft invented Lafty Tafty. Cheers!!
My greatest fear is that my son will find your blog and use your answers on his next history test!
Dana: Ha. Now THAT, I would dig. Cheers!!
That may be true, but there are plenty of rubes that will vote for anyone. Take a look at our state and US legislators, and you'll see what I mean.
Songbird: John McCain is a God. Cheers!!
The question is, God of WHAT?
sorry I missed out on this one...
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