A little bit of Monday Mish-Mash for you all…
I have two days left to get the painting of the digs completed. We’re slightly behind schedule due to a couple of incidents.
Last weekend, I got deathly sick for 36 hours which wiped out one day of painting.
Yesterday, Schmoop was going to paint while I was at work, however…
While Schmoop (who has a knack for spontaneous personal injury) was moving the dresser away from the wall in the bedroom, guess what happened?
That’s right…The damn thing fell on her, pinning her between the floor and a drawer full of my underwear!!
It’s fortunate that she is off all this week because she is still in pain. You’d think however, that once she freed herself, she would have painted for awhile, but nooooooooooo.
Such a damn slacker…Oh well. We’ll get it finished before the carpet gets installed later this week.
I have told you about some of the off the wall requests I have heard at the Drive-Thru BEER mine in which I work.
People have asked for things like bread, batteries, buttermilk, coffee filters, etc. Well, I had the topper of all requests yesterday.
A hot babe who is a regular customer, came through, bought a pack of smokes, and then asked me the question that I had waited LONG and HARD to hear. Are ya ready, folks? She asked me…
“How do I cook a pot roast? I just got a great deal on one, but haven’t a clue how to make it.”
Damn right, Bitches. Instead of sexiness, I obviously ooze culinary acumen.
I have two days left to get the painting of the digs completed. We’re slightly behind schedule due to a couple of incidents.
Last weekend, I got deathly sick for 36 hours which wiped out one day of painting.
Yesterday, Schmoop was going to paint while I was at work, however…While Schmoop (who has a knack for spontaneous personal injury) was moving the dresser away from the wall in the bedroom, guess what happened?
That’s right…The damn thing fell on her, pinning her between the floor and a drawer full of my underwear!!
It’s fortunate that she is off all this week because she is still in pain. You’d think however, that once she freed herself, she would have painted for awhile, but nooooooooooo.
Such a damn slacker…Oh well. We’ll get it finished before the carpet gets installed later this week.
I have told you about some of the off the wall requests I have heard at the Drive-Thru BEER mine in which I work.
People have asked for things like bread, batteries, buttermilk, coffee filters, etc. Well, I had the topper of all requests yesterday.
A hot babe who is a regular customer, came through, bought a pack of smokes, and then asked me the question that I had waited LONG and HARD to hear. Are ya ready, folks? She asked me…
“How do I cook a pot roast? I just got a great deal on one, but haven’t a clue how to make it.”
Damn right, Bitches. Instead of sexiness, I obviously ooze culinary acumen.
Of course, I did tell her how to cook it. Both the oven and my crockpot versions, because…well…I’m cool like that.
Stopped by Ryno’s after work. I ate dinner with him and the ex. She had made salmon. I’m not a big fan, but it wasn’t bad. Afterwards, Ryno and I shot some hoops.
I wanted to get a good perspective as to how tall the little shit is getting so I had his mom take some pictures of us…
Stopped by Ryno’s after work. I ate dinner with him and the ex. She had made salmon. I’m not a big fan, but it wasn’t bad. Afterwards, Ryno and I shot some hoops.
I wanted to get a good perspective as to how tall the little shit is getting so I had his mom take some pictures of us…
Dear God, he’s only about an inch and a half to two inches shorter than me now. Unbelievable. He’s a keeper.Ryno, his Uncle Vince, and I are going to do some fishing later this week. I’ll have some pictures of that mishap after our outing.
Lastly…
Here’s to Billy Mays who passed away yesterday. As of this writing, the cause of death is unknown, but I’m thinking that he OD’d from snorting too much OxiClean and either his heart or his head went Kaboom!
No matter what happened, there isn’t enough Mighty Putty in the world to fix him.
On the upside, he is now with the Lord basking in the Orange Glo of Heaven. Rest in Peace, Billy Mays.
Now, back to the painting and then headed to work the Beer Mine later. Let’s hope that we can complete the painting without Schmoop breaking any bones…or puncturing a lung...or dislocating her hoo ha.
Cheers!!
26 comments:
...real men don't own "underwear"...they have "shorts" or "skivies" or "longhandles" or "those filthy things" and they most certainly don't have "tighty-whities" or "briefs"...I'm not clear on "undershorts", and I'm leaning against "underpants"...my uncle, the Mormon, wears a "garment", and I'm not buyin' that, either...
I KNEW I could count on you to make a relevant remark regarding the death of this century's answer to Ron Popeil.
those are great shots of you and the boy wonder.
I'm still smiling thinking about a customer at a drive thru liquor store asking pot roast directions...
David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays...who will be next?
Feel better schmoop...stay out of harm's way girl!
Nice job embedding product references in the Billy Mays tribute. I can hardly wait to find out what really caused him to croak.
Cheers
I'm thinking you might want her to dislocate her hoo-haa.
The only cure for that would be the cock-up splint.
I'm an ER nurse. I know these things.
You're welcome.
Phfrankie: Ha. A garment? That's pfunny. Cheers P-Man!!
Kat: Thanks. And evidently my face just screams, "Pot Roast". I don't know who's gonna be next. It's been wacky. Cheers Kat!!
David: Oh I'm sure I won't be the only one who has done that, but thanks. Cheers David!!
Candice: Thanks for the tip. I'll make sure that she is the victim of a pussy popping "accident" and offer to unpop it for her. Cheers!!
Songbird: No one....and I mean NO ONE can dethrone Ron Popeil. Cheers!!
One more thing that Schmoop and I have in common; the ability to hurt ourselves during any and all home improvement projects. It's a running joke at our house. Funny for JR; not so much for me.
Michele: That's so sad but riddle me this? Can you wake up bruised just from sleeping? Uh-huh, Schmoop has some serious, unknown injury skillz. Cheers Michele!!
Feel better Schmoop :)
Funny how when I heard of Billy Mays passing last night when we got home from vacation, I thought of you; W.T.F. HA!
Lu: Ha. That is funny. I dug Billy Mays. His ESPN 360 commercial is a hoot. Welcome Home, Mizz Thang. Cheers!!
Yes, sometimes I wake up with bruises but they are not unknown. JR has a hand in those. I bruise easy.
Michele: Well that's good. As we always say here...If there are no bruises or bite marks, it wasn't good sex. Cheers!!
so Schmoop couldn't do the baseboards while she was down there!? shocking
Feel better Schmoop - I didn't mean that, I'm just trying to placate the ass... - uh - Matty
I would imagine that Billy loves your little eulogy. I read that he hit his head hours earlier, complained of a headache and then didn't think any more of it
shades of Natasha Richardson? 50 is so fucking young - that made me shiver
wear a helmet Matty - and shroud Schmoop in Bubble Wrap
Dianne: Damn right she could have. She would have looked hot laying there with a busted femur while drool was coming out of her mouth as she painted.
I actually am kinda bummed about Mays. He was amusing. Gettin' the bubble wrap out as we speak. Cheers Sexy!!
Terrible news about Billy Mays. But at least there are lots of easy jokes that can be made. To help us all get through this difficult time, of course. ;-)
Jay: Yes it was, and of course the jokes have to be made. I have one more picture of Ryno and I that I am posting tomorrow that is Billy Mays related. Hee Hee. Cheers Jay!!
Poor Schmoop! Hope she is better!
And my daughter was horribly excited about Billy Mays...her reaction was just WRONG. She explained, "I'll be napping just fine, and then one of his commercials will come on and his screaming wakes me up! Good riddance!"
Gotta teach the kid some compassion...
Tigger: Ha. Yeah, your daughter, needs some help. But, it sounds as though she is funny. Nice to see ya. Purrrrrr. Cheers Tigger!!
Good writing today M2.
You make every day life so much fun to shoot the shit about!
No matter what happened, there isn’t enough Mighty Putty in the world to fix him.
ha Ha HA!!!
Did I miss your Michael Jackson commentary? I will have to go back and look.
Schmoop, stay away from things that are taller and heavier than you are. You never know when a chest of drawers (or other piece of household furniture) is likely to "attack".
Dice: Why thak ya. I really didn't do much with Jackson. Just not into MJ in life or death.
As for Schmoop staying away from those types of things, it doesn't matter...Those things find her. Cheers Dice!!
Now Billy Mays I'll miss!
Have you considered Schmoop-proofing the apartment?
Take the dresser out back and shoot it. Once they've pinned a human, there's no going back. It's only a matter of time before they try it again.
Watch your hands going after those shorts...you could lose a finger.
Dana: It's no use. Objects, no matter how secure, find their target in schmoop. Cheers!!
Travis: I have no worries. Much like the cat, the dresser only dislikes schmoop. Cheers!!
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