Today marks the day that the UN Climate Change Conference convenes in wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen…That’s in Denmark.
Delegates from nearly every country will be attending this summit over the course of the next two weeks.
Can you tell that I am bored as I type this? Well if you can’t, let me tellz ya…My eyes are vacant and crossing and my head is nearly resting on my keyboard. And no…I haven’t had any Wild Irish Rose to drink either.
Climate Change/Global Warming/It’s Good to be Green is an issue/topic/religion that I just cannot get a hard-on about. It bores me to tears, and I find people on both sides of the issue to be more than irritating.
The Greeniks wail and gnash their teeth because the world is going to end tomorrow if we don’t retard the filth and man made heat we are generating.
Those on the other end of this climatological spectrum who like Pangloss utter, “This is the best of all possible worlds!!”, have their heads in the sand.
Over millions of years, this planet has and will continue to undergo climate change. How much is man made and how much is a natural, cyclical occurrence, no one knows.
And…If someone says they know, they’re lying
Certainly the human race has had an effect on the climate. How can a group of people go from simple hunting and gathering to producing mega factories that belch ungodly pollutants out of their smokestacks and not expect it to have an effect?
On the other hand…in the grand scheme of Earth’s history, we haven’t been belching into the atmosphere all that long.
In order to determine how much change in our climate is natural and how much is man made can only be determined if we can find a climatologist who is a million years old. I don’t think one exists. Sure, Larry King is a million years old, but he isn’t a climatologist.
I do have a theory on the issue at hand however…
I think it is both ironic and appropriate that this Climate Change Summit is taking place in Denmark.
If global warming due to human causes is a reality, the answer as to why lies in Denmark, and here it is…
That’s right Matt-Man’s favorite Danish dish, Heidi Zadeh. She can pop the top off of any thermometer just by looking at it. Heidi Zadeh, ladies and gentlemen…the cause of global warming.
With that problem solved, I want to give a big wet kiss and birthday shout out to my buddy Dianne.
Happy Birthday, Dianne. Think of me when you bite into that cake today.
Cheers!!
About five months ago, I changed the way I blog to a degree. I started writing about topical items more and less often about personal things.
Trying to create an audience by going blog to blog and hoping in return others would do the same, was taking up a considerable amount of time.
I noticed back then, that only 2% of people who stopped by Bagwine Ruminations were directed to my site by a search engine.
I thought that if could do things differently I could increase my search engine traffic and get a 50/50 mix. It’s working. I now get 20-40 percent of my daily traffic directed to my site by a search engine.
I continue to get hits from people who are directed to my three month old posts about Al Roker and The Weather Channel. Folks typing in things like “Al Roker Sucks”…“Fuck Al Roker”…etc., show up daily.
A search for “Alisyn Camerota Is Hot” or variants thereof, direct many people to my posts dedicated to my favorite FOX News Babe. Alisyn Camerota remains my number one sexy siren of search engine success, but Wow..!!
Bagwine Ruminations has a new chick in the Google machine that may soon surpass my sweet Allie in directing people to Matt-Man.
Who? You ask?
The incredibly sexy, edible, makes me spontaneously spew something resembling Havarti cheese in my pants, Heidi Zadeh.
I first wrote about the Iranian born, former Miss Denmark, Heidi Zadeh back in July, but only lately has she revved up the search engine and directed horny men and women everywhere to my site.
She has also sent Bagwine Ruminations zooming up the internet charts in Denmark.
Hell, yesterday, while the vast majority of my visitors were from the U.S., a full 13% were from Denmark and another 8% from nearby countries such as Sweden, Germany, and the U.K.
Pickled Herring, anyone?
I felt because of all of the Bagwine activity generated by the lovely Miss Zadeh, I should take time today and thank her.
I think that since I have, in a way, used Heidi, I should graciously offer to allow her to use me…in any way Heidi and her smokin’ hot body would like. I know, yet another example of my selflessness.
Heidi, if you are out there reading today’s post, please know that I would love to be your ambassador to the United States.
I would be happy to spread the word of your hotness to all Americans, help to spread your fame across the Atlantic, and of course, spread those never-ending legs of yours.
As soon as I can pay someone to find your email, I will send you a link to this post, my home phone number, and an outline of the key to the apartment door.
You can stop by anytime, Heidi. The Bagwine will be chillin’, the cod will be drying, and I’ll be on the couch stroking my kolde bord.
I owe this and more to you...I Love You, Heidi.
Skål and Bunden i Vejret Eller Resten i Håret!!
Can you tell that I am bored as I type this? Well if you can’t, let me tellz ya…
