How about a little Hump Day Hodgepodge, today? Great!!
Tuesday at work was a killer. The 10-9 shift is a long day in itself, but once again it seemed like 80% of the day’s business was compressed into the three hours between 5 and 8.
Holy Cow, it was smokin' busy, and I was injured as well.
I fucked up my back lifting and twirling 30 packs of beer and then smashed my right elbow into the steel doorframe between the office and the drive-thru section of the Beer Mine.
I am glad I am off today so I can recuperate before going back Thursday at 5. Take me away Wild Irish Rose!!
I may see if Jay is available to talk today so we can do our always intensive show prep for the, I’m With Stupid Blog Talk Radio broadcast this coming Sunday.
Speaking of our show, Jay and I talked a couple of weeks ago about “creative” cuisine. I mentioned my less than successful attempt to make liver in the crockpot once.
I remembered at work Tuesday that I shot a video of Schmoop complaining about it the day it happened.
So, if you have never seen it, and/or would like to check out Schmoop’s purrrr-rific legs, here’s the video of the “Crockpot Liver Incident”… There’s a lot in the news about the California Governor’s race and how Jerry Brown, one of his aides, or maybe even his wife was caught on a phone message calling his GOP opponent, Meg Whitman, a whore.
Two things, here…
First of all, as so many others, I find it hilarious that in the news reports, people refuse to say, “whore”. They say something like, “Brown called Whitman a word that rhymes with, snore.” I say to these “professionals” grow the fuck up.
The second thing and perhaps the most important thing about this “controversy” is this…
Since being called a whore by the Brown camp, has Whitman denied the allegation?
Hell, no!!
This needs further looking into because I think I have stumbled upon two things here…Meg Whitman is a WHORE, and I am fucking brilliant!!
That’s it for today, with the exception of a couple of notes.
Thursday I will be doing another installment of He Said…She Said with Schmoop. If it’s like last Thursday’s episode, you’ll want be sure to read it and chime in. Fun stuff!!
Also, if you’d like to be this Friday’s I’m With Stupid Hot, Smart Babe of the Week, e-mail Jayman or I with your photo along with what makes you smart, and we'll put your picture up on the IWS website come Friday.
Please though…no completely nude shots (breasts included). I was scolded by our Executive Producer for putting one up last Saturday.
That's it...and now, I must spend Wednesday healing up and show prepping. It’s a good thing that I have plenty of Rose, smokes, and beer on hand.
The Matt Man wants me to chime in on his blooooooog.
While he’s cooking his LIVER, he thought it would be cute if I spoke…So…
I’ll speak…
First off…the House Stinks!! The house smells like, well...LIVER. Y’know…Like Cow Organs!!
The SMELL is disgusting. I will NOT even try it. No one, and I mean NO ONE should ever eat this crap. Dana are you listening? Seriously dude.
Anyhoo, grossness aside. Teabagging…Ha! I’m sorry but that just gets me. I know that the right wing party is having a hey day, but for reals???
I don’t care what the left or right wing have to say. I don’t care what the liberals/conservatives have to say. All I care about is what I have to say.
Isn’t that what you want? To have your say? Then Do IT. NOW. I want everyone to say something, anything.
Call, write, e-mail your Congressman, Statesman, Governor, anyone. Let them know how YOU want things done.
And let them know, that LIVER should be outlawed!!
Thank You, Schmoop
Here's a picture of Matty's ugly meat!!
And now, a video of a half naked me, Schmoop, complaining about Matty's liver...
While it is a chilly start, it is going to be a sunny and somewhat mild Easter Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio.
And the best thing? I’m off today. It’s the first Sunday I have been off in a year. Praise Jeebus!! And speaking of Jeebus, welcome back buddy.
Those three days that you were gone while toying with the Romans, Jews, and Satan hizzelf were ghastly.
Not only is this the Day of Resurrection, it is the end of my 46 days of Meatlessness for the Messiah and my 3 day fast. Thank God.
Let me tell ya. The 3 day fast really blew. However, it did work it’s Messianic Magic.
I have officially plunged under the 180 pound weight mark. I currently stand at a shade over 177. As I weighed 187 on Ash Wednesday, I have lost nearly 10 pounds.
This three day fast thing? Holy Cow. I hadn’t eaten anything for 72 hours. I lived, on water, smokes, and beer.
You wouldn’t think there’d be anything to get rid of, but Saturday evening after work, I had a series of colon blows that were just wrong.
Have you ever peed out of your ass? Well, last night, I did. Twelve gallons of water cascaded out my porthole. Talk about your Holy Shit.
It was like my ass was the Tomb of Christ, and he pushed away the stone, and out he came in the form of an uber-wet flow of a dark sienna hued discharge.
Diet fads, be damned…The only weight loss plan one needs is the love of Jeebus Christ. Fill your soul with JC and he will clean your colon out. Amen.
Of course, now that Easter is here, it’s time to pack on a few pounds today.
And how will I do that, you ask?
Well, Schmoop and I are going to lay blankets and pillows on the living room floor, watch TV, and eat…naked…all Damn day.
Here’s a little of what’s on the Resurrection Menu…
After I stop by Schmoop’s brother’s for a few, I am headed to pick up a Crave Case of White Castle hamburgers.
Of course, weak from my fast, I’ll pick up a Burger King Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Croisan’wich on the way.
Later, we may have some chicken nuggets, and of course, what is Easter without the greasy goodness of SPAM. Mmmmmmm, SPAM. God is great!!
And here it is folks…Schmoop and I have been living in sin together for nearly nine years. She has always had one, hard and fast rule…
“I don’t care if you do cook it yourself, there will be no fucking liver in this house, Matthew.”
Well, Schmoop broke her long standing rule and rewarded my Lenten efforts.
Yep, Schmoop picked up some liver at the store for me yesterday. It is currently in the fridge soaking in milk, and waiting to be cooked up.
Jeebus loves me this I know.
So there you have it…an Easter full of meat, movies and oral sensation. I hope yours is every bit as good as mine.
Have a wonderful Resurrection Day, all. If I don’t see you tomorrow, it can mean only thing…
Holy Cow, it was smokin' busy, and I was injured as well.
t, and we'll put your picture up on the IWS website come Friday.
