The health care “debate” in spite of my thinking that it could sink no lower, has plummeted to a nadir that even nattering nabobs of negativism would be hard pressed to believe.
In fact, if I were to channel the ancient spirit of Spiro Agnew, he would probably react to this new line of “debate” by saying, “What the fuck?”
Yesterday, the semi-saucy and full on crazy Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) held a rally in Washington D.C.
Ms. Bachmann Pancake Turner Nosedive feels that any health care reform bill put forth by the Democrats is nothing more than a coup attempt by Communist pigs to convert our land of milk and honey into a trough of rotten beets and cheap vodka.
Okay, I exaggerated…Bachmann has no clue as to what the word “coup” means, but you get my point.
Bachmann helped to gather 4,000 or so tea baggers to Capitol Hill.
Angry and feeling as if they have no voice, these 4,000 people who traveled to D.C. upon the Federal Interstate Highway system, protected along the way by gasoline tax funded state troopers, and enjoying assembly security provided by the National Parks Department, shouted down the government.
These folks ripped up copies of Pelosi’s health care bill… a bill that even if they did have time to read, would be unable to read it. There’s all of those polysyllabic words and such after all.
Mary Beth Bishop of Colorado summed up the burning anger of the protestors by saying:
"We need to show up and uphold the Constitution. It wasn't written on toilet paper."
Very deep Mary Beth, but don’t assume…Times were tough in America when the Constitution was penned and it very well could have been written on toilet paper in order to save money. But I digress.
Speaking of the Constitution, fellow Ohioan and House Minority Leader John Boehner proudly waved a copy of the Constitution while quoting the Declaration of Independence and its holding of certain truths to be self-evident.
Simple mistake…Kinda like the time when the Apostle Matthew waved around the Magdalen Papyrus containing the teachings of the Beatitudes while speaking of the incestuous shenanigans of Lot and his daughters.
It’s understandable. Boehner probably has many a brain miscue due to absorbing far too many gamma rays during his far too frequent tanning bed sessions.
Of course, Bachmann did put a couple of deep thinkers into her program. She brought along thalidomide victim, Rep. Virginia “Matthew Shepard Being Killed Because He Was Gay Is a Hoax” Foxx (R-NC).
And of course in attendance were Jon Voight and John Ratzenberger (aka Cliff from Cheers) better known to those in high brow right wing circles as the Remus and Romulus of Conservative thought.
Seriously…I don’t get it. Other than the oddball guy who digs a middle aged chick who is in need of breast augmentation and a lobotomy reversal, who in the hell follows a nut job like Michele Bachmann?
Hell…Maybe it is I who is crazy. Perhaps I am some sort of anachronism that foolishly lives in an era when the thoughts of Paine, Jefferson, and Madison ruled the day.
I don’t know…All I know is that if Bachmann and those who follow her manage to gain influence over the direction of this country, we are in a world of hurt…
Not only because idiots like those will control the government, but there could very well end up being a remake of Dumb and Dumber starring Jon Voight and John Ratzenberger.
Cheers!!
Over the past few days and weeks, I have been taking shots at Glenn Beck, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Sean Hannity, Tea Party protestors, and those who watch them in order to determine what they should think.
I announced on Thursday September 10th, that I had had enough with these dullards and was determined to form an effective third political party. My desire was to form a group that could counteract the stupidity that flows from the minds and mouths of the aforementioned morons.
I am still in the process of putting this idea into an entity of tangibility, but I have made progress. I have come up with the name of this political movement, and our basic purpose…
The Speleology Coalition.
“Matt-Man,” you ask, “what the hell is speleology?” Speleology is the study of caves…and why have I named this movement after the study of caves?
Sure, some of you who have known me for awhile, may think it refers to a perverted desire of mine to be a caveman who engages in sex with hot Neanderthal chicks who, instead of having language capabilities and the ability to talk back, can only grunt.
As appealing as it would be to have sex with a chick who is unable complain, that is not the reason.
No my friends (and critics), my reason for choosing, The Speleology Coalition refers to the Allegory of the Cave set forth by Plato in Book VII of his epic work, The Republic.
No, I have not lost my mind, so stay with me…
In the Allegory of the Cave, Plato, who is writing in the persona of Socrates, describes a hypothetical situation in which people since childhood have been held prisoner in a cave.
Their arms and legs shackled; their heads stationary, gazing at a wall, they are forced to watch shadows of animals, humans and other material things being cast upon the cave wall through the cooperation of a blazing fire and people walking behind them.
To the prisoners, the shadows and accompanying noises and voices they hear, are to them, what comprises the “real world”. To the incarcerated, the beclouded specters and muddled voices combine in concert to compose what is the, Symphony of the Real World in B Flat.
In 2009, Plato’s Cave Allegory is being put into practice. Millions of Americans are shackled to their couches watching the shadows of ignorance and unyielding ideology being played out on TV, while in the caves of their homes.
Millions more hear the muddled voices while in their cars as they listen to talk radio. They are prisoners to a marionette show put on by self-aggrandizing, puffed up puppet masters who are pulling the strings of fear, intellectual incapacity, and herd mentality.
This modern day, cave staged, Punch and Judy show, and the ensuing, go along-get along attitude towards it from the audience, is what feeds the lack of non-thinking realism to many, and gives this movement its purpose.
It is up to us as members of this organization to lead prisoners from their cave of shadows and fear. It’s time to let the light of common sense and heated, yet respectful debate between those who agree and disagree, shine as a rainbow of humanity's evolution through the prism of informed personal discernment and social debate.
The 21st Century cave dwellers of whom I speak, need to realize something, and realize it quickly, lest we all lose...
In the words of Plato’s fellow Greek, Plutarch:
“I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”
Glenn Beck, Rachel Maddow, Birthers, Truthers, Tea Baggers, et al., have become shadows of each other. A shadow does not think for itself. It follows blindly. But…
When light is shone from a point that has no angle one way or the other, and is straight up, a shadow dissipates, and a person is left with only him or herself. It is at that point when actions and thoughts are the sole responsibility of the person in question.
It is also at that point, that no matter how painful and unfamiliar that intellectual soliloquy may be, a person must think for him or herself, and climb out of the cave.
Shining that light and being a catalyst for others in order to make that metamorphosis happen, is the purpose of this movement. And for his wisdom, which is as ancient as the scorpion, I thank Plato.However...
Unlike Plato, I am not calling for Philosopher Kings. I am calling for Philosopher Citizens.
I hope you join The Speleology Coalition and along with me, become a Spelunker.
Cheers!!
I mentioned yesterday that I was just flat out pissed off and disgusted with what I saw on the FOX News coverage of the Tea Party march on Washington, D.C.
As one who appreciates loud, proud, and sassy civil disobedience, don’t think for a moment that I feel that these tea baggers shouldn’t have descended on our Nation’s Capitol.
However…I was disturbed by a couple of things that I saw.
First of all FOX News…I heard inflated attendance numbers given by the moronic numb nut Griff Jenkins. I watched and listened to Glenn Beck heaping praise upon the protestors as his eyes “welled-up” with pride.
Former Congressman and House Majority Leader Dick Armey, whose group FreedomWorks Foundation has sponsored and financed many of these events, talked about the “spontaneous and grassroots” movement that is taking place.
Many in the crowd, when placed in front of a FOX News microphone by the aforementioned Griff Jenkins, returned the praise given by Glenn Beck by thanking him and FOX News for helping to get their message out.
Fair and Balanced, alright. FOX News is as fair as Rachel Maddow is an open-minded chick who likes guys and as balanced as Keith Olbermann is not a guy who is full of himself. Puhleeeeze, how the hell do you guys say that with a straight face?
Anyhoo…The Teabaggers…I heard the same old tired crap. “Obama is a Socialist!!” Now, let me do my best Joe Pesci and ask:
A Socialist, how? A Marxist? A Trotskyite? A Stalinist? An Uber-Hot, Blonde, Swedish Chick Who Lives in Stockholm? Exactly what do you mean by Socialist? Oh that’s right…You haven’t a God Damn clue!!
Then I saw posters and signs throwing the tired, old Nazi label on Obama.
Hmmmm…The only time I have ever seen a black Nazi was when I saw the late Ivan Dixon portray one a couple of times on Hogan’s Heroes during one of their wacky, wartime capers.
Glenn Beck recently released a book titled, “Glenn Beck’s Common Sense”. The title sums up the book correctly, well…halfway anyway. It’s Beck’s book alright, I mean, other than the title that he creatively borrowed from Thomas Paine, but it’s far from common sense.
And the tea baggers who marched on D.C. Saturday that Beck helped to inspire, displayed the same lack of common sense that spews from Beck’s mouth on a daily basis.
I heard shouts of, “We’re losing our liberties!!” “It’s Communism!!” Hell, I was fully expecting someone to echo Beck’s words that we are now living under an “Oligarhy”. Ha.
The folks that FOX News showed and had talk on camera just threw out quick lines that injected some sense of losing freedom, Communism, Nazism, or otherwise dictatorial intent on the part of the Obama administration.
Get over it. Protest all you want. Protest loudly. Have fun with it. But please, I beg of you…
Could you refrain from merely throwing out invectives and vagaries? Seriously…put some thought into what you are protesting and put an argument behind it.
Do this not, and I will call upon Ivan Dixon to return from the dead, and in all of his Nazi glory, gun you down with his Schmeisser.
Tomorrow…I will announce the name and direction of the independent third political party that I am establishing.
Until then…I am working a rare day time shift today, so play nice while I am gone. If you can, try to keep folks in line, Phfrankie.
Cheers!!
Well it’s Tax Day, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Sharpen those pencils, get out the calculators, and mail those tax returns in. Or…
Go to the nearest Teabag Party!!
That’s right…
A bi-partisan group of individuals, (read, right-wing "visionaries" such as Dick Armey, Grover Norquist, and Newt Gingrich) is throwing “grassroots”, anti-tax, anti-socialism, anti-Obama demonstrations, known as tea parties, across the country today.
And guess who will be giving protesting inbreds across America wall-to-wall coverage? That’s right…FOX News!!
Of course, FOX News claims they are not promoting these Teabag orgies. They are just simply covering four of these events because it’s hard news.
FOX’s Cavuto, Beck, Hannity, and Van Sustern will be tea bagging live for your viewing enjoyment!!
I’ll be at work, but I hope to catch the replay of Glenn Beck’s appearance at the teabag party in San Antonio. Hell, Ted Nugent is going to play the National Anthem at that one.
Beck and Nugent will tea bagging each other, baby. Who will be the tea bagger and the tea baggee, I’m unsure.
I mean Teddy has that long flowing, girly hair, and yet Beck, like a woman, cries on cue and wants everyone to look into his eyes. I think those two tea bagging is more akin to train wreck-like chick on chick action.
The whole tea party idea is based on the 1773 event in which Americans protested British taxation by pouring tea into Boston Harbor.
“No taxation without representation!!”, they clamored. Who among these protesters don’t have representation? And…
What increase in taxes are they clamoring about? I think we are still under the tax rates of the Bush administration, aren’t we?
I know Obama wants to raise the tax rates on the very top income earners, but even then, his top rate will still be 10% less than it was during the Reagan Administration.
So…um…what? Okay, maybe their message is about keeping America from becoming a Socialist state. I can see that…
I mean before we know it, we’ll have unemployment insurance, Medicare, Social Security, Rural Electrification, free/reduced school lunches, and one day we may wake up and the entire Tennessee Valley will be under some type of Authority!! Oh the Humanity!!
Yeah, I think they may have missed the Federally subsidized bus on the socialism thing. Of course that does leave these folks and FOX News with one other angle…
Bash Obama!!
These tea bagging parties could very well end up turning into anti-Obama rallies, the likes that have never been seen.
Obama’s reputation may be forever sullied on a nationwide scale as men teabag with men…women teabag with women, and children teabag with their parents.
But wait just a minute…
Perhaps that is exactly what President Obama wants. After all…
A guy who is an Uber-Liberal, America-Hating, Kenyan Born, Muslim and who was elected President of the United States would want all of that free perverted tea bagging going on.
It keeps the masses distracted and spent, and leaves Obama free to ruin the country.
Damn…Obama is one smart, bad ass, frickin’ genius.
Cheers!!Update (12:45): In the Heart of the Boston Tea Party...Fox News reports that the, and I quote, "The Fascist budget" has drawn hundreds to the Tea Bagging Party in Boston...
Ms. Bachmann Pancake Turner Nosedive feels that any health care reform bill put forth by the Democrats is nothing more than a coup attempt by Communist pigs to convert our land of milk and honey into a trough of rotten beets and cheap vodka.
Seriously…I don’t get it. Other than the oddball guy who digs a middle aged chick who is in need of breast augmentation and a lobotomy reversal, who in the hell follows a nut job like Michele Bachmann?
