Love Wins: A Book about Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived... A Book by Rob Bell

It’s Friiiiiiiiday Chuckleheads, so let’s get jiggy wif it by going staccato in thought.

Move over Joyce Meyer. Hey Rod Parsley, Suck It!! There’s a new pastor in town.

Rob Bell, the pastor of the 10,000 strong Mars Hill Church in Michigan has written a new book titled, Love Wins: A Book about Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived

To a great extent this dude’s take on faith and religion is much like mine.

He realizes that faith is not comprised of static and strict, black and white theological doctrine; faith is a journey.

Here’s to ya Mr. Bell, and Cheers…you are an official Bagwine Head now, my brother!!

I made the most spectacular corned beef in the crockpot last night. It was ginormously delicious, and tonight’s menu?

Fish Sticks and Mac n Cheese. There’s something about the subtle comfort and goodness of eating breaded minced fish and tubules of cheesy carbs, that gets me all a-twitter.

I slept late today, and now I feel pretty good, especially since I’m smoking again. Yeah I know, but it just didn’t take.

With the warmer weather upon us we opened the windows for the first time in what seemed like 8,000 years.

I’d forgotten how busy the street is that we live on and that one in every three Bagwine denizens owns a fucking Harley!!

Oh the noise!! It’s a good thing that Schmoop gets loud when she drinks. It helps to mute the sound of all the traffic.

Jayman and I put another award winning installment of I’m With Stupid in the can last night.

Our St. Patty’s Day Extravaganza was stellar, as was Jay’s interview with his 200 year old great times ten Irish Nana Loy and Guy Ahnyurdyck’s report from County Cork’s fave watering hole: Suds ’n’ Spuds.

You know you want to listen and you can do so by utilizing this handy dandy BTR player:

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

That’s all I have for now. Enjoy your weekend, and as always…

Cheers!!

Lent 2011: So Let It Be Written; So Let It be Done!!

For the first time in a long time, I smiled and even laughed for an extended period on Twitter last night.

It was odd.

Usually, I have a laugh here and there, but early Monday night for a period of twenty to twenty-five minutes, I smiled and chuckled the entire time.

It was refreshing, and well, for lack of a better term, nice.

For a brief moment in time, Twitter was not filled with the “look at me”, “follow me”. “please empathize with my latest crisis” comments.

I was for a short time, talking with people who were not only having fun, but making sense as well, and…

No drama or theatrics!!

I dug it. And seriously, I have mixed feelings about Twitter. I both love it and hate it.

I enjoy talking to folks in near real time about stuff from the empirical to the existential, and the silly to the sublime provided we’re just having fun, and yet…

Twitter is also a Junior High School playground fraught with jealousy, hurt feelings, and turf wars. Yeah, that aspect makes me sick and one I constantly try to contribute to avoid.

However…

Amongst the less than adult, but more than juvenile fun I was having with some new friends last night, I was inspired…

A new found Twitter friend, Kathy, quit smoking at noon on January 15th. Beginning March 9th (Ash Wednesday) I will begin my annual Lenten struggle and refrain from smoking for 46 days.

After that, hopefully I shall never smoke again…be it Lent or not, ‘cause, well…I ain’t really Catholic.

Anyhoo…

The odds are against me.

Just as Ryno’s mom asked me what my layoff meant for HER, Schmoop asked me what my impending non-smoking meant for HER.

Obviously, all my sorrows and sacrifices will be carried solely by the Holy Baby Jeebus and me, alone or together…or whatever…or…you know what I mean.

But as much as (and I don’t know how) Charlton Heston (Dead) rebuked the advances of Anne Baxter (uber hot) in The Ten Commandments, so come March 9th shall I rebuke tobacco.

So let it be written; so let it be done.

Cheers!!

Lent 2011: I Am Leaving My Walk Through The Wilderness Up To You

Every year at this time, I begin to think about something…

What should I give up for Lent?

This year, Lent begins relatively late (March 9th), but I have already begun to think about what 46 day quest of sacrifice and ultimate glory that I shall traverse this year.

In the past I have given up meat, and last year I gave up all forms of bread and pasta.

My willpower is such, that neither of those abstinences provide anything more than mere discomfort.

So…this year? I am setting my sights higher, and want to have a real challenge. I am asking you to help me.

Do you have any ideas as to what I should give up between Ash Wednesday and Easter Morning in order to test my holy mettle?

I have a few ideas…

I could give up meat (as I have done before).

I could give up bread/pasta (as I have done before).

Or…

I could give up one of the following:

Alcohol…That would be tough, especially since I live with a bitter, heathen woman.

Cigarettes…That would be even tougher. Oh Dear God, I do love my Marlboro Lights.

Sex…Ha…Just never mind that idea. I may live with a bitter, heathen woman, but damn…she’s hot!!

NOS/Energy Drinks…You may not see this as difficult, but trust me…NOS is my crack.

Cussing…Either in spoken or written form, this would probably be the most difficult in comparison to all of the aforementioned suggestions.

Blogging…That would be rough, and what fun would it be if I couldn’t post abut how fucking crazy I was going!?

So, those are some suggestions. Let me know what you think, or if you have something else in mind with which to torture me during the 46 days of Lent, lay it on me.

I’ll be home all day on this introspective Monday, so let me know what ya think.

Yours in Christ, and as always…

Cheers!!

Hey Ohio!! Raise Your Butts!!

For smokers in Ohio there is a bill in the works to roll back part of the public smoking ban.

The legislation being considered, if passed...

Will once again allow smoking in bars and a few other PRIVATELY-OWNED establishments should the owners decide that that is what they want.

Imagine that?

Owners of a of bar being allowed to let folks enjoy a completely legal habit within their private property.

How wacky is that in these times?

You see, a couple of years ago, Ohio voters passed a law that banned smoking in any public place, not merely restaurants.

This ban includes bars, DAV halls, American Legion halls, bowling alleys, etc., whether they serve food or not.

Smoke-Free Ohio, the group that got the legislation on the ballot, had said that non-smokers would frequent these places when smoking was banned.

Ha. That’s why the overall bar business is off 30% in Ohio since its inception and many have closed.

In addition to that, I find it ironic that a veteran returning home from defending our freedom is prohibited from exercising his or her legal right to smoke when at a VFW hall.

To Smoke-Free Ohio, those who have enacted laws prohibiting smoking in one’s own car with a child present, and others going as far to call smoking in a house with children, child abuse…

While I inhale, you can blow me.

Your trumped up second-hand smoke (ETS) stats are a joke as are you…However, I and many other freedom puffing Americans are tired of being your punch line.

Seriously, some people should really mind their own business and allow other people to run their businesses as they see fit.

If mom and pop want their bar, restaurant, or private club to allow smoking, let them do such, and allow the free market and consumer choice determine the fate of their establishment.

Sure, cigarette smoke is an irritant, but in order to “second-hand” ingest the amount of carcinogens in one Marlboro, one would have to be in a packed bar full of smokers for 250 hours straight!!

If people want to do away with odiferous irritants, let’s also ban all chicks who wear three tons of make-up and a gallon of eau de toilet from public places.

Let’s ban all dudes who are going through a mid-life crisis while wearing gold chains and suffering from an Old Spice overdose from public places.

Hell, speaking of banning irritants, let’s do away with Sean Hannity, Keith Olbermann, and Perez Hilton.

While we’re at it, let’s outlaw that fucked up Zyrtec allergy relief commercial with the chick who acts like she is about ready to have sex with her bicycle!!

And one more thing, dammit!! Let’s do away with alcohol, fast food, and self-rightgeousness.

After all, second hand alcohol, aka drunk driving, kills more people in a week than second hand smoke does in years.

Abuse and reliance upon fast food overwhemingly adversely affects more adults and their children than does second-hand smoke.

And…self-righteousness affects more people than all of those things combined. And more importantly?

Self-righteousness also has incredibly detrimental and long-lasting effects on the greatest document ever written…

Our Constitution.

Cheers!!

Our Nation's Economy Is Going Up...In Smoke!!

Yesterday, I published the first part of my four part plan to stimulate the economy and raise cash for our nation.

That part, which you can read by clicking HERE, dealt with the legalization of prostitution. Today?

We tackle drugs and tobacco.

The first step is easy. Legalize marijuana and tax it. Sure, some states already allow for its use for those who are sick. But seriously…

Much like it’s a shame that youth is wasted on the young, why should the joys of pot be wasted on those who are damn near death?

We could bring in billions by taxing it as we do cigarettes or alcohol. And just think...

With people free to toke the ganja, the snack food and fast food industries would explode.

A windfall for the Feds. Employment opportunities. People smiling.

And, instead of going to a baseball game at a stadium named after a boring, bailed out bank or insurance company…

You could watch the game played within the friendly confines of Taco Bell Field, or Wet Mango Blunt Wrap Stadium.

Hell, all of the players are using illegal substances while playing…Why shouldn’t you get to do the same while watching? You’re welcome.

Crack…Meth…Cocaine? All legal, bitches. Why? Taxes. Oh the money that we could generate, but that’s not all.

The idiots who do crack and the like, will die much sooner than they normally would.

Every time a crack or meth head OD’s, it’s one more societal burden gone and one less person that needs a Social Security check in the future.

Can you begin to see all of our country’s red ink beginning to turn black? Damn right!!

Okay…Here’s the last part of um…part two of the Bagwine Economic Plan. Cigarettes.

Do you enjoy a smoke-free environment? Do you enjoy looking down your collective noses at us smokers? Well, get over it.

Get rid of us 40 million or so Americans who smoke and you lose 15-20 Billion dollars in State and Federal tax dollars alone.

My plan? Encourage the next and following generations to smoke, boosting the number of American smokers to 100 million.

Adjusting for inflation, it would add an additional 40 Billion a year in taxes alone to our government coffers.

How do we do this, you ask? We get the kids to crave a Marlboro from birth.

Every baby formula from Similac, to Enfamil, to Nestle Good Start, would be laced with tar and nicotine.

In fact, I call the infants of this initiative, Tar Babies.

Adding tax revenues, and turning a racial slur into a patriotic moniker. That’s how I roll.

Once they turn 13, they would be allowed to freely purchase and ingest the cigarettes that they crave.

It’s at this point that they would become known as Nico-Teens.

Even the young need to step up to the plate and the cigar bar, and pitch in during this crisis.

I think I’m on to something here. Join me tomorrow for Part Three of Four of the Bagwine Economic Plan.

Until then…

Cheers!!

Insecurity Deposit: Your First Month's Rent and Your Pack of Marlboros

BELMONT, CA -- Beginning today (January 9th, 2009), residents of the city of Belmont who live in multi-unit buildings will not be allowed to smoke inside their homes, according to Code Enforcement Officer Kirk Buckman.

The city's ordinance, adopted in November 2007, prohibits smoking in apartments, condominiums and townhouses that share a common floor and ceiling, Buckman said.

--KGO-TV 7 San Francisco and Bay City News, Inc.

Who thinks this is a good idea? Who thinks this is a bad idea? What do I think about this idea?

Well, allow me to tell you what I think.

First of all, I think the ordinance is incredibly silly, creepy, and most of all…dangerous.

Secondly, I want to know the name of the Social Engineer who is conducting out country’s train along the steel rails to the Land of Dystopia.

The government of Belmont, CA. has decided that the rights of property owners, their renters, and personal choice are far less important than imposing their will upon others.

I remember a time when debates about gay relationships, porn, abortion etc. revolved around concerns that government was trying to gain control of the bedroom activities of free Americans.

Who knew that a few years later government would make, in this case, a successful attempt to legislate restrictions on personal activities that take place in one’s living room, bathroom, and kitchen?

Un-frickin’-believeable, and…unbelievably sad.

If a property owner wants to make his complex smoke-free, have at it. Let him or her have all of the smoke-free, joy-joy they want.

But, for the government to tell an apartment complex owner that his tenants are forbidden to smoke is a much bigger cancer threat to the country than a wisp of Marlboro exhalation is a bodily cancer threat to one’s next door neighbor.

And it is, in a word, bullshit.

I know...

This ordinance was probably initiated by some self-loathing, too much spare time, namby-pamby, it’s all about the cheeldren, busy body who may or may not live in an apartment complex.

Unfortunately, far too many ninnies today, believe they have been put on this earth to extinguish the behaviors with which they disagree.

And far too often, politicians go along with these “public interest” cabals so they don’t come off as being seen as a heartless ghoul who wants our cheeldren to develop asthma.

In many states and municipalities, business owners are required to run their restaurants, bars, and now apartment complexes in a smoke free way that the government sees fit, not the as the owner sees fit.

Welcome to 21st Century America, bitches…Leave your cigarettes, and more importantly, your property rights and personal freedoms at the door.

As for me? Big Brother can have my smokes when he pries them from my cold, dead, nicotine stained hands.

And now, one last item.

Longtime Bagwine friend and acerbic commenter, Songbird, is having a Birthday today.

If you have a minute to spare, pop on over to her site HERE, and give her some Birthday lovin’.

From what I have gleaned over the years, she loves wet, sloppy tongue action.

Happy Birthday, Songbird.

To the rest of you…Smoke em’ if ya got em’, and…

Cheers!!