Lent 2011: So Let It Be Written; So Let It be Done!!

For the first time in a long time, I smiled and even laughed for an extended period on Twitter last night.

It was odd.

Usually, I have a laugh here and there, but early Monday night for a period of twenty to twenty-five minutes, I smiled and chuckled the entire time.

It was refreshing, and well, for lack of a better term, nice.

For a brief moment in time, Twitter was not filled with the “look at me”, “follow me”. “please empathize with my latest crisis” comments.

I was for a short time, talking with people who were not only having fun, but making sense as well, and…

No drama or theatrics!!

I dug it. And seriously, I have mixed feelings about Twitter. I both love it and hate it.

I enjoy talking to folks in near real time about stuff from the empirical to the existential, and the silly to the sublime provided we’re just having fun, and yet…

Twitter is also a Junior High School playground fraught with jealousy, hurt feelings, and turf wars. Yeah, that aspect makes me sick and one I constantly try to contribute to avoid.

However…

Amongst the less than adult, but more than juvenile fun I was having with some new friends last night, I was inspired…

A new found Twitter friend, Kathy, quit smoking at noon on January 15th. Beginning March 9th (Ash Wednesday) I will begin my annual Lenten struggle and refrain from smoking for 46 days.

After that, hopefully I shall never smoke again…be it Lent or not, ‘cause, well…I ain’t really Catholic.

Anyhoo…

The odds are against me.

Just as Ryno’s mom asked me what my layoff meant for HER, Schmoop asked me what my impending non-smoking meant for HER.

Obviously, all my sorrows and sacrifices will be carried solely by the Holy Baby Jeebus and me, alone or together…or whatever…or…you know what I mean.

But as much as (and I don’t know how) Charlton Heston (Dead) rebuked the advances of Anne Baxter (uber hot) in The Ten Commandments, so come March 9th shall I rebuke tobacco.

So let it be written; so let it be done.

Cheers!!

Hu Jintao: I Make More On Unemployment Than Does The Slave Labor In China!!

My friend Jayman and I do an internet radio show which will be on Thursday night at 11 PM EST on Blog Talk Radio.

Oft times, we make fun of things involving social media on our show, but this week, I found a WHOLE lotta funny (and sadness) happenin’. But nothing rare…

I’ve seen verklempt chicks, begging for followers on Twitter.

I watch people claim they are ostracized; I talk to them, and then they ignore me when others finally chime in.

I was banned from uploading a post to Facebook because someone flagged me as abusive, or offensive, or whatever.

Let me say something right now folks…I don’t want to hear any politically correct speech as to how we all need to get along.
I would love to get along, but if we don’t, don’t go crying to mommy…or in this case, the webmaster.

Having disagreements and being rude are two different things, and if you can’t handle differing opinions, get the fuck off my site, Twitter, Facebook, and the internets in general.

Oy!!

In a word…Fuck You…er…two words.

And now…

Being the nice guy that I am, I want to remind you all that Jayman and I will be broadcasting live on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio Thursday at 11 PM EST.

We will be talking unemployment which as I currently am out of work, I consider myself an expert. Jay will be chiming in as well, because he tried it a couple of times years ago as a Masters Degree sociological experiment.

We will also talk about the new, “civil” political culture, the State of the Union Address, and my OCD. We will have live remotes, interviews, and hopefully your phone calls as well, so stop by.

You can always call in at 661.244.9852 and as always, our BTR page can be accessed by clicking HERE.

Happy Hu Jintao Day, and as always…

Cheers!!

Keith Olbermann Suspended By MSNBC...For Two Days!! Talk About Your I'm With Stupid Moment!!

If you haven’t heard...

Keith Olbermann was suspended “indefinitely” on Friday by MSNBC for violating a campaign contribution policy placed by MSNBC on their talking head types.

Some of you are probably asking…

“So?”

Some of you are saying…

“Good!!”

Many of you are probably asking…

“Who?”

Olbermann is a pretentious bastard who does an uber-left talk/opinion/agree with me or go to hell, type political show on MSNBC weeknights at 8 PM EST.

Against the MSNBC policy of their hosts contributing to political campaigns without permission, Olbermann along with his ginormous ego donated to three Democratic candidates this past year.

He was “indefinitely” suspended, well…if indefinitely means for two shows.

MSNBC wimped out, and Penis Envy Keith will be back Tuesday night and I’m sure he will be painting a canvass with a broad brush of hyperbole and histrionics that only he can.

I loathe him, and I am disappointed in MSNBC for their mere slap on the wrist of such a lying hypocrite.

Olbermann and his buddy Rachel Maddow (also on MSNBC) claim to have no agenda. Ha!!

They pimp out a far left agenda on MSNBC just as obviously as Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck pimp out the far right on FOX News.

It’s a joke, and so is Olbermann. And now..?

Some fun!!

This Friday November 12th at 11 PM EST on I’m with Stupid, Jay and I will be discussing all the social networking and media outlets that are everywhere.

Facebook, Twitter, Blogging etc. will be the topic of discussion.

We want to know why you use them. Perhaps why don’t, and all that jazz.

This subject is also the opening to a new segment that we will be doing every week on I’m With Stupid if we can get you to participate with us.

Beginning this Friday, in addition to the social media topic and all of our other fun and frivolity we want to interview YOU!!

If you have a blog and it is current and active we want to ask you questions about it and help you to pimp it out just like Keith Olbermann does the far left agenda!!

We will be doing one blog a week and really get into the what, whys, and where-to-fores of your blogsite.

If you would like to be a special guest of I’m With Stupid in this respect let Jay or I know and we will have you on the air with us and pimp out you and your website.

Especially for this week’s show, let us know no later than Wednesday so we can go through your blog and prepare for a good interview.

So let us know by emailing us…

Jay: jayman3768@gmail.com

Or…

Matt: neshobadude@yahoo.com

Have a wonderful Monday Chuckleheads, and as always…

Cheers!!

What The Fuck?

A guy I know, has had it on Facebook.

He has been talking about friends dropping friends because they know someone else who’s said friend doesn’t like him or her…

Or whatever…you know what I mean…

It’s fine to drop someone on Facebook, not read them on Blogger, or no longer follow them on Twitter, but if you are going to do so…

Fucking do it!!

Oh my God, what is with this High School mentality that permeates the internets!?

And that mentality goes beyond merely “de-friending”.

This entire internets thing amuses me. It’s grade/junior high/high school for adults.

Be they 25 or 75...Adults act like kids on here.

Blogger, Facebook, and even more so, Twitter, people lie, cheat, steal, and more “impo-tently” are fucking obnoxious…

Mainly to themselves.

I watch people join social networks in the name of making friends and end up enjoying the hell out of disassociating themselves from others.

It’s hi-larryous and at the same time…quite sad.

I don’t know why they do it, but there are people out there who enjoy crapping on others or at least trying to.

Don’t get me wrong, I love calling an asshole an asshole, but I never do it to make myself feel better. I do it because it’s fun!!

But seriously…Why do people get on social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, and the like and end up merely being pissed off all the time?

I need answers people, ‘cause it’s driving me nuts!!

Cheers!!

Hump Day: From Ho-Hum To Wacky And Wild

I’m off today. After working eleven hour shifts on both Monday and Tuesday as I always do, my feet and my patience with assholes welcome it, however…

There is something odd about being off on Wednesdays. It’s like I am the only one who is off. I’m always alone.

Schmoop’s at work sitting at her desk, while her hoo-ha is performing the monthly ritual of shedding what we hope is the last of her eggs.

My son is at basketball practice and weightlifting.

I have no car because Schmoop has it. Oh sure, I could take her to work and keep the car, but what would I do?

Everyone else I know, and like, are at work as well. It’s just me, the cat, and the radio. And well, plenty of beer.

Typically on Wednesdays, I play music all day while I hang out on Twitter, catch up on blogs, and check in on Facebook.

So actually…it’s me, the cat, the radio, and the computer. And well, plenty of beer.

Sure I try to sexually accost women on Twitter as I pound some beers, ’cause, well…I get horny when I drink…hornier than usual that is.

This Wednesday, my horniness will be exacerbated because as I mentioned, Schmoop’s basement is flooding, so there’s no hope for relief when she gets home.

I’ll have to take care of myself and manhandle the Matt-Meat.

So actually…it’s me, the cat, the radio, the computer, and my hand. And well, plenty of beer.

I pace through the apartment a lot as I drink, annoy people on Twitter, and think of funny things to write.

My pacing? It drives the asshole who lives beneath us nutty. He hates the creaking and the noise.

Sometimes, when Schmoop and I vacuum? We will just let the vacuum sit and suck the same spot for five minutes, Ha. He goes ballistic. I could do that today.

So actually…it’s me, the cat, the radio, the computer, my hand, and the vacuum. And well, plenty of beer.

I don’t want to call my friend Richard, The Crazy Cat Man in Columbus, but probably will.

We have unlimited long distance so it’s not quite as painful listening to him talk about his impending knee replacement, how one of his 18 cats died in a tragic garbage disposal accident, or as he states…

Every Republican and most Democrats want to eat your children, regurgitate them, and turn them into Zombies.

So actually…it’s me, the cat, the radio, the computer, my hand, the vacuum, and the phone. And well, plenty of beer.

That’s quite a bit of cool shit. If only I had a special friend with whom to share it. Would you like to be my special friend?

‘Cause if you became my special friend for the day…

It would be me, the cat, the radio, the computer, my hand, the vacuum, the phone, and my special friend.

Holy Cow!! If that happened, and with all of that cool stuff at our disposal, my Hump Day would go from Ho-Hum to Wild and Wacky in no time.

Cheers!!

Tired and Off To Work

Man...I've got nothing. Jay and Dana kept me up wayyyy past my bedtime last night. Fucking Twitter pushers.

And then...

I woke up with a hard on because I had a dream about this chick:


And....AND...I still cannot remember this chick's name in the picture with me from 20 years ago:


If you have a second, just make up a name for me to call her, 'cause I am clueless.

Thanks.

Off to work until nine tonight. Wish me a calm day and plenty of cleavage shots.

Cheers!!