Individuality Is Fine...As Long As We All Do It Together

There is a blogospherical hate-fest afoot, and it is directed towards me…The Lovable Matt-Man.

It’s not so much a result of what I write on my site.

In fact, as hard as I try, I can’t seem to offend anyone while they’re reading Bagwine Ruminations…

(Well, except for our resident crazy commenter and blogsite bunny boiler, Nicole.)

No my friends, the hate of me is the result of the comments that I leave upon the sites of others.

Case in point…

I made a comment on Sarge Charlie’s site the other day about how Liberal talking heads like Keith “May I Kiss You on the Mouth, President Obama” Olbermann still bash Bush, and right wingers, like Glenn (Hitler and Jesus Had Alot in Common) Beck keep talking about 9/11.

I was merely making a point that people on either fringe can’t seem to shake their ideologies and move forward on our nation’s problems.

Ol’ Sarge made a short post about my comment and here are some the responses that have been directed towards moi.…

Amazing Gracie: I don't know why Sheila and Matt have to continue to come here and pass gas where we all can smell it!

It just gripes them that we aren't kissing their messiah's butt. I stay away from fights, as a rule, but rudeness cannot be tolerated. Grow up, folks!

As it stands, I still have free speech. Don't know if that will remain true and that's why we knuckle-draggin' conservatives are trying to save your collective necks!

Ha. “Grow Up?”, Gracie. I was far from rude, and I find it funny that you speak of Free Speech and yet, you prefer me to keep my mouth shut. How ironical!!

Someone needs to grow up alright, and it ain’t me, Gracie.

Here’s a classic…

Sandee (Comedy+): Who cares what he says? Just saying Sarge. He's never done anything worthwhile for his country. Well, except complain that is.

Ol’ Sandee, now there’s a piece of work. She should start something called the 4-M Club. Why?

Because she hates Mexicans, Muslims, and Matt-Man!! But, to her point…

I do plenty for my country. I pay taxes. I work. I help to raise a wonderful son. I vote. I help others whenever possible. And, I speak out both for and against things in which I believe.

And Mizz Bigot…I actually tried to join the USAF in 1988. However, I was not accepted.

Oh sure, I scored a 97 (out of 99) on the ASVAB or AFQT entrance test, but they DQ’d me…A TDQ for bronchitis and a PDQ because of eyesight.

I think they really said no because I mentioned an incident that took place in the early 80’s between my High School gym teacher Scrub Hubner, myself, a video camera, and a can of Gold Bond Medicated Powder.

What can I say? Back then, I was young and needed the money. But seriously…I do whatever I can, whenever I can for anyone, including my fellow Americans.

And, I do it without hating entire groups of people.

I hope someday Sandee gets a spontaneous hug from an American citizen of Mexican descent named Mohammed Juarez while standing on the steps of a Mosque.

Holy Crap…I’d pay to see that, but I would feel sorry for Mr. Juarez.

Anyhoo…

Two of the things that irk me in the blogsophere are when people back down from saying what they feel and act as a yes-man and when folks try to silence others when a point of view doesn’t fit into to their Bubble of Truth.

While the vast majority of people who visit here are left of center, I adore the few who voice the differing opinions on my site.

Differing opinions are good. They’re useful. And most of all, they’re just plain fun.

And keep in mind, when two people (or more) agree on everything, every time…one of them is unnecessary.

I must give a tip of the hat to Sarge. He didn’t try to shut me up. Hell, he gave me big shout out in order to attempt to mock my point.

I dig that…a lot.

Cheers!!

Taking the Good with the Bad

I was in a bit of an odd mood yesterday. Just thinking about things…you know.

Lately I have been thinking about people I know from the internets and trying to figure them out.

It didn’t put me in a bad mood; it was more a mood of puzzlement. It all started Tuesday with the following e-mail that I received:

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 8:20 AM
From:
"Nicole Reynolds" Add sender to Contacts
To:
neshobadude@yahoo.com

Do you wonder why I think you're a gross creep?
Do you remember a girl named Jill? She's a friend of mine.

She tells me that you hurt her big time a few years ago. I know how she can be so I started reading you.

I thought you were funny at first but I can see that she was right. You're a jerk.

Live with THAT funny guy. I'll be around for her.

Nicole

And the e-mail prompted me to visit this crazy person’s Nicole’s site. And what did I find?

Well, click HERE and look for yourselves.

Man…So much hatred directed at me of late by her and others. It makes me wanna cry and become angry.

Okay…laugh and become amused, but hey, it’s still an emotion, right? People...

The day did end on a high note, however.

Ryno received his Interim Report Card yesterday. He has 4 A’s, 1 B, and nearly a B in Algebra.

I was very happy, even with the 83 average in Algebra because math has always been hard for him.

And, coinciding with his good report, I received something in the mail from longtime Bagwine buddy, Vinny.

Vinny of Bond’s Big Leather Couch, sent a CD of 12 WWE entrance themes for Ryno. I shall give it to him tomorrow.

Who knew a dago could be so damn nice? Here’s to ya Vin, and thanks much. That was very thoughtful.

I guess people overall, are a damn good lot of folks.

One last item for today…

I weighed and took a picture of myself this morning…

Sexy, no? Okay, no…but it’s for archival purposes. I start this Lent at 6’ 187 lbs.

I hope to lose several inches from my body and come Easter, stand only 5'7". Bada Bing.

But seriously,

Let’s see how much weight Jeebus and I can shed from my body prior to his resurrection.

After all, on most days I will eat one meal only and it will have but a couple of grams of fat if any and other than any alcohol I consume, my caloric intake will be only 500-700 per day.

Sacrifice, baby!!

Tonight in honor of Vinny, I am going to dine on a can of Minestrone soup.

Buon Alimento, and…

Cheers!!

Hodgepodge Stew

I have several irons in the fire as I type this…none of which, of course, are near completion.

So because of that, and as well as a top secret mission I am working on today, I will just throw out some stuff and call today’s entry:

Hodgepodgical (Yes, it is a word. I invented it last year) Wednesday.

I am off until Saturday at 4 P.M. You know what that means. Uh-huh, that’s right…Not a whole helluva lot.

I was going to take down the Christmas tree, but we’re leaving it up year ‘round. We’ll decorate it accordingly to whichever holiday is approaching.

Hearts and baby pictures of me next month…Shamrocks in March…and perhaps in April as Easter nears, dozens of Cross danglin’ Jeebuses.

I have no idea how we’ll decorate it for Arbor Day. Maybe I’ll bring in a load of dirt and place it around its base.

Ann Coulter has a new book out. It’s called, Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America…

I have so many names for her. Annthrax Coulter…Annorexic Coulter…

Ann “The Fuckin’ Bitch Who Needs the High Hard One From Any Guy Who Could Have Sex With Her Without Throwing Up” Coulter.

Skeletor Girl can sell the books though…all that money and still a hypocritical asshole. Oh well.

I got another email from my blog critic Nicole.

I may have a few things to say about her sometime soon. She’s a real bitch pistol. But, I do love the back and forth so.

Ryno had another game Tuesday night. They won, and improved to 2-2. The Little Man had 5 points, 10 rebounds, 6 assists, 2 steals, and 2 blocks.

Oddly enough, my boy has turned into a feared rebounder and defender. Although he’s not huge, his coach always matches him up against the other teams’ big guys.

I guess he ticked off a couple of the opponent’s big guys last night. This is what Ryno told me…

"Dad, they were so mad because I play defense like you and I do when we play each other.

I bump as much as I can without fouling, as I tell them to bring it, and make crazy faces at them. They got mad tonight."

Knowing how my son can embellish, I asked his Mom for confirmation. She replied…

"Matt, he was in their face. I could see him laughing and talking to them while they were dribbling...

and then he started making that weird face that you and him think is so funny...

The one that you made the picture of."

Ha. Better Basketball through, Inside Yo Head Comedy.

The boy is brilliant!! If only he would put that much thought into his school work. But, I am incredibly proud nonetheless.

I guess I’ll end on that note. Hopefully, I’ll have something funnier and more substantial for you tomorrow.

Oh one last thing. I just realized something...

Only 49 Days until another 46 days of a meatless Lent begins for Matt-Man. God, I love the creativity that time instills in me.

Cheers!!

Bitch Slapped by the Mystery Chick

When I got home from work Sunday night, I opened my e-mail and was confronted by a message that was most interesting.

It reads as follows:

Matt-Man,

I have been reading your blog site for a couple of months.

At first I found you to be funny but I have come to find you more offensive than anything else. In fact I find you horribly offensive.

Your Christmas and Kwanzaa posts, and description of “Schmoop’s” menstruation were beyond tasteless.

I guess I am letting you know how I feel because you seem to be a good guy deep down and have quite a bit of talent. I hate to see you waste it on the garbage you write.

A Former Reader,
Nicole

Well, blow me down. I am somewhat confounded by this note because I have no idea who this mystery chick is.

I can see perhaps, that a person that I know, maybe one of my regular commenters taking me to task over something, but…

This is someone with whom I have never interacted or communicated as far as I know.


Oddly enough, I appreciate it. She took the time to tell me, a person who only exists in her world on a blog, what her opinion is of me.

True, she bashed me and my writing, but what the hell, she took the time to do it. And maybe, I’ll give Nicole’s opinion some thought.

Perhaps I am over the top in the offensive department.

I could tone down my satire of religion, leave Schmoop’s plumbing and hot body out of my talks, and be nicer.

But then I think, why should I do that? That just isn’t what I am all about on here. Yeah, I am a nice guy, but do people want me to write fluffy, feel good stories?

I guess one thing Nicole did make me think about was this…

What the hell is my niche in the blogosphere? What exactly do people want to hear from me? Is there a certain topic or part of life I should concentrate on writing about?

Here’s what I think. I talk about Jeebus, war, politics, sex, and a myriad of other things that touch all of our lives oft times in a negative and hurtful way and make them funny.

Many times the topics are incredibly taboo or harsh…such as the latest fight going on between the Palestinians and the Israelis, but…

If I was to discuss the situation and relate it to my frequent masturbatory sessions to pictures of Golda Meir, maybe that would elicit a laugh.

I guess what I am saying is that my niche and my response to Nicole is that we are all bombarded by ugliness everyday.

I take that ugliness (or the mundane), and if only for a brief moment while reading my post, a few people can go beyond the sometime shitty reality of life, and laugh.

If that is what you (Nicole), consider as you say, to be garbage, so be it. It is what I do.

I could write about the cruelties of life and echo what we all know to be sad or painful, but to me, that is easy…

Too easy.

To take those common difficulties that we all share and turn them into a brief, humorous release, is much more difficult.

And why is it that I take the more difficult route with all of this?

Well, because Nicole…I’m Matt-Man, Bitch!!

Cheers!!